Danger on I-84?

Okay, I took this picture while driving riding on I-84 between Nampa and Caldwell. I mean, is this something I should be concerned about at all? Something doesn’t look quite right, but I can’t put my finger on it.

untitled1

Advertisements

Here’s Your Sign

When I was younger, most traffic signs simply had words. However, now that only like 2% of the population speaks English, we have all these confusing signs with vague cartoon-like pictures. Sometimes, I’ve had difficulties figuring out what the sign means. But I think I’ve got them all straightened out now. So as a public service from the DITH Public Safety Department, here are what some select traffic signs mean–oh, and maybe some appropriate commentary as needed. I’ll also throw in commentary on some of the few signs that still have words.

 

Awesome! I’ve always hated those ankle-biters at the mall that lurk in the shadows and then spring out asking you to participate in a survey. I wish they would better their education so they could get a real job. Anyway, this sign will help me steer clear of this annoyance.

 

Lather, rinse, repeat, right?

 

 

 

Logos need to be updated occasionally to keep up with the times. This is the new peace symbol.

 

 

 One drunk ahead

 

 

Two drunks ahead

 

 

 

Three drunks ahead

 

 

 

I’ve always felt bad about this one. This is telling us that a decapitated, hand-less, foot-less person could be crossing the road. But I guess that I shouldn’t feel too bad. It’s great that he is out there being a productive member of society despite the challenges of multiple limb losses.

 

 

 

See, this is just so awesome that these courageous members of society with huge physical challenges are still able to engage in gainful employment.

 

 

They are able to go to school, too. Though I have always thought this sign to be a bit sexist. Notice the boy helping the girl across the road with his stump of a hand. What, she can’t get across on her own?

 

It just warms my heart that such horribly disfigured individual are still able to engage in life-enriching sports and recreational activities. 

r9-3a.gif

 

But sadly, there are still some places that these folks are not welcomed. We’ve come a long way, but there are still some people that we need to fully welcome into society.

 

Oh, I remember this one from grade school math:  5  7

 

Instead, run like hell!

Sign images are from the
Manual of Traffic Signs, by
Richard C. Moeur.

Hit or Miss

Despite being on vacation, there are a few things I miss about being home. Let’s take a look at what I miss and don’t miss. That way, we can determine if a prefer vacation or the daily grind.

What I Miss

  • Easy access to a computer: I mean, it’s right here in the spare bedroom and they have high speed Internet access. But they don’t leave it on all the time, so I have to wait like 5 minutes for it to boot up. Plus I feel guilty about hiding away.
  • Our best friends: We hang out with our best friends just about every weekend, and so we probably won’t see them for a couple weeks now.
  • Traffic: It may sound strange, but it’s true. We live in the country, so there is no traffic compared to Portland. A traffic jam in the country is getting caught behind some slow-moving farm equipment.
  • The Older Daughter: She went to Disneyland with her best friend and her family. I’m jealous, but miss her just the same.
  • TiVo: I’ve come to a point where I don’t watch anything live. I record it with TiVo and watch it later so that I can skip past the commercials. Plus it’s nice to be able to skip back a few seconds to catch the dialogue I missed when all the dogs bark their heads off.

What I Don’t Miss

  • Work
  • The alarm clock
  • Worry about looking for a new job
  • The daily routine
  • Having absolutely no free time
  • Getting up early: I’m a night owl and love to stay up ridiculously late and sleep in
  • Brown: I do love the green of western Oregon over the brown of southwestern Idaho.

So there we have it: I have 7 things I don’t miss and 5 that I do. So I think that I should just stay on vacation forever. What do you think?

8 Things About Me I’m Pretty Sure You Don’t Care About

Okay, my posting rate has been a little slow over the last few days. So I’m lifting a meme from John to get things moving along again. With this meme, you basically tell 8 facts about yourself and then tag someone else. I’m not going to officially tag anyone, but be a good sport and play along okay?

1. Both of my grandpas were named after famous people: Jesse James and Benjamin Franklin. Unfortunately, I never had the pleasure meeting either one (neither the grandpas nor the actual famous people).

2. I have ridden in the back of a police car and briefly checked out the county jail. You see, back in junior high, we had a zero-tolerance policy for fighting. If you were caught, you automatically got to ride to the county jail–about 13 miles away. They scared the hell out of you by showing you some cells, then your parents got to come pick you up. The fight was so minor that it was not worth it. No charges were filed. In retrospect, I should have drawn some blood or something for all the trouble of having my parents pick me up from jail.

3. Several years back, I was a good sport and took Irish dance lessons with the Younger Daughter. For the record, she grew bored of it and decided to quit–not me.

4. My biggest traffic pet peeve: Not using your turn signal. In an earlier post, I threatened to develop a tactical nuke capable of taking out a car. I would definitely use this on those who can’t be bothered with such formalities as signalling turns.

5. I am a sucker for cats. I could easily be one of those freaks that has like 47 cats. I hope this doesn’t threaten my Man Club membership.

6. In junior high, I once told a counselor that my goal was to be an NBA basketball player. For some weird reason, he thought I should have a backup plan, but I didn’t think so. For the record, I never even tried out for basketball. Oh yeah, and I’m 5’9″. Thankfully, I did come up with a backup plan.

7. I was so painfully shy in my younger years, that I never attended a single dance–not even the big ones: homecoming, prom, etc. That’s probably my single biggest regret from my youth.

8. Many years ago now, John and I decided at around 3pm to drive from Portland, Oregon, to Vancouver, B.C…for no particular reason. And we just turned around and drove right back after grabbing some fuel and snacks in Vancouver. A 12-hour round-trip if I remember correctly. Crazy. And one of my fondest memories.

Get Out of the Friggin Left Lane!

Ok, I ran into like 5 boneheads on the way home this evening that don’t know how to drive on the freeway. Here’s a clue: Use the left lane for passing, then move back to the right lane! I can’t believe how many people impede traffic by hanging out in the left lane for no particular reason. I have just submitted a project to the DITH R&D department. We are going to develop a tactical nuke small enough to take out just a single car. That way, when morons are clogging up the left lane, I can vaporize them!

Bekki, please take note of this. I don’t want to have to take you out.   🙂