Wacky Dream

I don’t typically remember my dreams anymore…or if I do it’s just bits and pieces. However, I vividly remember a very creepy/disturbing/random dream from last night. I think I need someone to interpret this dream. It’s really wacked.

In the dream, I somehow end up in a house where paranormal activities occur. I think I was there with a team of experts like from Ghost Hunters. I don’t recall any specific interaction with the team–just that I was there for purposes of investigation. Well, it seems that I got tired during the evening and laid down on the floor for a nap. As I was falling asleep, my dream (within a dream) cycle was starting up. I was dreaming of something like a blue mist and a creepy buzzing sound started.

This scared me and I woke up from my dream (within a dream). Before I realized what was going on, I was being hoisted up by my left shirt sleeve by some unseen entity. It lifted me all the way up to the ceiling, then gently put me back down on the floor. This happened two more times in immediate succession. The fourth time it lifted me up, something or someone told me or it just occurred to me to lift my left hand, palm facing up. When my hand neared the ceiling, a $50 bill appeared in it. Then the unseen thing gently put me back on the floor. End of dream.

What is up with that? Is that some messed up stuff or what?

The Impossible Dream?

I need to have a serious discussion with my brain. I am simply not happy with its performance in regards to dreams. First of all, I’m seeing too many repeats. They say that we use only 10% of our brain’s potential, so I think it’s got plenty of time to come up with original material. I simply won’t put up with this laziness anymore. It wouldn’t be so bothersome if it was a good dream being repeated, but in this case it is an unpleasant dream. I can’t remember the details now, but I know that it was not fun.

Secondly, I want to see my dream requests fulfilled. After all, it’s my brain and it darn well better do what I ask. I have always wanted to experience space travel. However, I can’t afford such a trip. Even if it were free, I might very well chicken out. So, I want a nice space travel dream. But has my wish been granted yet? Of course not.

So brain: Stop with the repeats and give me my space trip or there will be serious consequences!

I Want To Be Mr. Potato Head

Okay, strap yourself in. We’re headed to a particularly wacky outpost of Bryan’s brain. Just a fair warning.

So I want to be like Mr. Potato Head. Why? Well, let me back up and give you a little background. I am really not very comfortable sleeping on my back or stomach, so the only choice is my side (well, I guess I could try standing or sleeping on my head, but I have doubts on the viability of those options). However, when I sleep on my side, my arms get in the way and that’s not always very comfortable either. The other problem is that my arms will fall asleep. It sucks. So here’s what I want: detachable arms. I’d have two hooks on my bedroom wall. When it was time for bed, I’d turn sideways and put my arm in the hook, then pull away from the wall snapping the arm out. Then turn 180 degrees and repeat. Presto! Happy, comfortable sleeping on my side. In the morning, I get up and reverse the process. Go up to my arm and press my body onto it to snap it back on. Sweet!

Now I could stop here, but I thought of some other really useful ideas along the same lines. I mean, I want lots of detachable parts.

  • Eyes: You know how sometimes you get dust or something in your eyes and cannot for the life of you get it out. With my plan, you just pop the offending eye out, wash it off, and pop it back in. Got bad eye-site? Go to the optometrist, get updated eyes, then just pop them in. No glasses, no contacts. Sweet!
  • Ears: Got a bunch of wax in your ears? No sweat. Snap the ear off, wash thoroughly, then snap it back on. Bad hearing? Go to the doctor and get new ears, and snap them on. Sweet!
  • Nose: So you know how when you have a cold, you’ll wake up in the morning and have a bunch of dried snot caked inside your nose? You should know the drill by now: snap it off, wash it out, snap it back on. Sweet!
  • Legs: I have a heck of a time sitting on the floor. I’m not comfortable sitting Indian style and if I fold my leg under my butt, they quickly fall asleep. So I want to be able to snap my legs off at the knee and put them aside while I sit on the floor. Sweet!
  • Head: If we could come up with a way to sustain life without a heart, I’d just detach my head from my body and discard the body. It’s kind of fat and starting to suffer from aches and pains. A body is kind of burden, so I would be content to just be a head. Then I could hire someone to carry me around. I could actually become the laziest person on the planet. Sweet!

I can probably think of others, but this is enough for now. If I could just have these, I’d be loving life!