Idaho Special Edition Barbie Dolls

You may recall a previous post in which we announced that Mattel was making special edition Barbies for Oregon. Just in time for Christmas, we are now pleased to announce the release of limited-edition Barbie Dolls for the Idaho market.

Nampa Barbie

She comes with an assortment of Kate Spade Handbags, a Lexus SUV, a long-haired foreign dog named Honey and a million dollar farm home. Available with or without tummy tuck and face lift. Workaholic Ken sold only in conjunction with the augmented version.

Melba Barbie


The modern day homemaker Barbie is available with Ford Wind star Minivan and matching feedstore outfit. She gets lost easily and has no full-time occupation. Traffic jamming cell phone sold separately for traveling.

Garden City Barbie

This recently paroled Barbie comes with a 9mm handgun, a Ray Lewis knife, a Chevy with dark tinted windows, and a meth Lab Kit. This model is only available after dark and must be paid for in cash (preferably small, untraceable bills) unless you are a cop, then we don’t know what you are talking about.

Boise Barbie

This yuppie Barbie comes with your choice of BMW convertible or Hummer H2. Included are her own Starbucks cup, credit card and country club membership. Also available for this set are Shallow Ken and Private School Skipper. You won’t be able to afford any of them.

Challis Barbie

This pale model comes dressed in her own Wrangler jeans two sizes too small, a NASCAR t-shirt, tweety bird tattoo on her shoulder and no teeth. She has a six-pack of Bud light and a Hank Williams Jr. CD set. She can spit over 5 feet and kick mullet-haired Ken’s butt when she is drunk. Purchase her pickup truck separately and get a confederate flag bumper sticker absolutely free.

Sun Valley Barbie


This collagen injected, rhino plastic Barbie wears a leopard print outfit and drinks cosmopolitans while entertaining friends. Percocet prescription available as well as newly built high rise condo.

Buhl Barbie


This tobacco-chewing, brassy-haired Barbie has a pair of her own high-heeled sandals with one broken heel from the time she chased beer-gutted Ken out of Jerome Barbie’s house. Her ensemble includes low-rise acid-washed jeans, fake fingernails, and a see-through halter-top. Also available with a mobile home.

Jerome Barbie


This doll is made of actual tofu. She has long straight brown hair, arch-less feet, hairy armpits, no makeup and Birkenstocks with white socks. She prefers that you call her Willow. She does not want or need a Ken doll, but if you purchase two Twin Falls Barbies and the optional Subaru wagon, you get a rainbow flag bumper sticker for free.

Kuna Barbie


This Barbie now comes with a stroller and 2 infant dolls. Optional accessories include a GED and bus pass. White boy Gangsta Ken and his 1979 Caddy were available, but are now very difficult to find since the addition of the infant.

Idaho Falls Barbie


She’s perfect in every way, mainly due to the high levels of antidepressants in her system. We don’t know where Ken is because he’s always at church meetings.

 

Also don’t miss Oregon Special Edition Barbie Dolls.

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Get to Know Me Better

Rick tagged me on this meme. Thanks man. Let’s get ‘er done.

The rules are:

1. The rules of the game get posted at the beginning.
2. Each player answers the questions about themselves.
3. At the end of the post, the player then tags 5-6 people and posts their names, then goes to their blogs and leaves them a comment, letting them know they’ve been tagged and asking them to read your blog.
4. Let the person who tagged you know when you’ve posted your answer.

1) What was I doing 10 yrs ago?

10 years ago the Older Daughter was 5 and the Younger Daughter was just 5 months old. I remember attending the Older Daughter’s dance recital that year–very cute. We were just settling into our previous house. I also started a custom software development business with a buddy–it didn’t work out.

2) What are 5 things on my to-do list for today (not in any particular order):

  1. Post to my blog (check)
  2. Get some laundry done (in progress)
  3. Check on the status of a job application (check–no answer yet…grrr)
  4. Do some more work on our business website (probably not going to happen)
  5. Blog surfing (check)

3) Snacks I enjoy:

  • Cheez-Its
  • soybeans
  • beef jerkey
  • popcorn

4) Things I would do if I were a billionaire:

  • Build a nice new house on our ranch
  • Buy a monster motor home and travel
  • Do charity work

5) Three of my bad habits:

  1. Staying up too late
  2. Procrastinating
  3. Not eating right

6) 5 places I have lived:

  1. Lebanon, Oregon
  2. Ontario, Oregon
  3. Cheney, Washington
  4. Boise, Idaho
  5. Caldwell, Idaho

7) 5 jobs I have had:

  1. Petroleum Transfer Technician (some people call it a Service Station Attendant)
  2. Clerk-Typist
  3. Computer Lab Consultant
  4. Software Engineer
  5. Database Administrator

8 ) 5 peeps I wanna know more about:

  1. Bekki
  2. Jon
  3. Bonnie
  4. Allison
  5. smysore

Childhood Flashback: A Lazy Summer Day

As the years roll by, I find it really interesting what will spark a long-buried memory. The Younger Daughter wanted to play a board game recently. She went to the game closet and pulled out an ancient game that I, for some unknown reason, have been lugging around for years–Bermuda Triangle. This game was introduced by Milton Bradley in 1976. It doesn’t appear that they are still producing it, though I don’t know how long it was on the market.

In a nutshell, you have a fleet of ships going from port to port delivering cargo. You earn money for each successful delivery. Unfortunately, there is an evil cloud that moves randomly about the board sucking up ships in its wake. It is mostly a game of chance; however, there is some strategy involved in trying to block other ships from docking safely away from the cloud.

I enjoyed the game as a child, but wasn’t really excited that she had chosen this game. But, that’s what she wanted to play, so that’s what we’ll do. I opened up the box to start setting up the game. When I pulled the board out, I noticed several blades of grass in the bottom of the box. This seemingly random discovery is where I took a quick journey back about 30 years.

My best friend during my pre-teen years lived just 3 houses down. We were inseparable. On a beautiful, sunny, summer day in western Oregon, he had come over for an afternoon of fun. We were just finishing up sandwiches and lemonade that my mom had made. After that, our first order of business was to get some trucks to honk at us. You see, we lived about a half a mile from a sawmill. So, we would go stand out by the road and pump our arms to get the log truck drivers to honk.

When we tired of that, we decided that it was time for a board game. We settled on Bermuda Triangle, but decided that it was much too nice of a day to sit inside at the kitchen table. So we took the game and our lemonade out on front lawn. I don’t recall how the game went or who won and I really don’t care. It was a great, lazy summer day.

This memory had been tucked away in my brain until the discovery of the blades of grass that had been in the Bermuda Triangle box for nearly 30 years. It was with almost sadness that I cleaned out the box. But I don’t want to be some freak that saves 30-year-old grass.

You saw the game box above. Now look at a zoom in on a particular part of the box. Here’s something you don’t see much anymore: “Made in U.S.A.”

Finally, a Change

So I’ve been complaining about the cloudy, rainy weather all this week during our stay in Portland. Well, I finally got my wish–a change! Yesterday, there was this bright, glowing ball that appeared in the sky for a few short minutes. I feared that it was a nuclear explosion or an alien invasion. However, apparently the locals call this thing the sun. And get this: we are lucky enough to be here for its semi-annual appearance. How sweet is that?

Furthermore, we awoke to snow on the ground on the ground this morning. It quickly melted. Now we are in a vicious cycle of clouds, hail, rain, clear, sun, repeat. Now that’s change I can believe in.

Hold on, it looks like I’ve got some moss starting to form on my back from all the rain. I’d better take care of this. Signing out for now.

Hit or Miss

Despite being on vacation, there are a few things I miss about being home. Let’s take a look at what I miss and don’t miss. That way, we can determine if a prefer vacation or the daily grind.

What I Miss

  • Easy access to a computer: I mean, it’s right here in the spare bedroom and they have high speed Internet access. But they don’t leave it on all the time, so I have to wait like 5 minutes for it to boot up. Plus I feel guilty about hiding away.
  • Our best friends: We hang out with our best friends just about every weekend, and so we probably won’t see them for a couple weeks now.
  • Traffic: It may sound strange, but it’s true. We live in the country, so there is no traffic compared to Portland. A traffic jam in the country is getting caught behind some slow-moving farm equipment.
  • The Older Daughter: She went to Disneyland with her best friend and her family. I’m jealous, but miss her just the same.
  • TiVo: I’ve come to a point where I don’t watch anything live. I record it with TiVo and watch it later so that I can skip past the commercials. Plus it’s nice to be able to skip back a few seconds to catch the dialogue I missed when all the dogs bark their heads off.

What I Don’t Miss

  • Work
  • The alarm clock
  • Worry about looking for a new job
  • The daily routine
  • Having absolutely no free time
  • Getting up early: I’m a night owl and love to stay up ridiculously late and sleep in
  • Brown: I do love the green of western Oregon over the brown of southwestern Idaho.

So there we have it: I have 7 things I don’t miss and 5 that I do. So I think that I should just stay on vacation forever. What do you think?

Where am I Anyway?

I mentioned that I am on vacation in Portland, Oregon this week. Well, that not quite correct. I’m actually in Vancouver, Washington. The people of Vancouver probably don’t like that I am saying Portland. However, it’s just easier than trying to explain where Vancouver is. Plus, if it weren’t for the Columbia River, this would be Portland. So there.

However, this got me thinking about all the places I’ve lived that have an identity crisis. I’m afraid it’s running rampant. Let’s take a look at them:

  • I was born in Lebanon–no, not the Middle Eastern country: Lebanon, Oregon
  • I then moved to Ontario–no, not California or Canada: Ontario, Oregon
  • My wife is from Vancouver–no, not Canada: Vancouver, Washington

What Day is it Anyway?

DITH will be reporting to you for the next week from our branch in sunny rainy Hawaii Portland. Most often, I’ll typing my posts while sipping margaritas Diet Mountain Dew from the beach a cramped spare room. My nerves will be soothed frayed by waves crashing gently on the shore screaming kids and barking dogs.

Having said all that, I am actually having a wonderfully relaxing time so far. We arrived on Saturday. So far, we have mostly visited with family, watched TV, slept in, and eaten. The most exciting thing we have done so far is visit the IKEA store this afternoon–yes that legendary vacation destination.

I’m seriously not complaining though. I woke up this morning and didn’t even really know what day it was. That’s a fantastic feeling. I’m also not wearing a watch and don’t know or care what time it is.

The past few months have been tough and the remainder of this year could prove even more interesting. So I’m really looking forward to just unplugging from all the negative stuff going on–just for a few days. However, I’ll try not to disappoint my devoted followers. I plan on checking in with any interesting things that happen. Stay tuned.