1968 Retrospect: Fashion

According to The World Book 1968 Year Book, “Fashion was stripped of its dictatorial powers in 1968 by a revolutionary assertion of individuality.” After seeing some of the associated pictures, I’m thinking that the “dictatorial powers” should have been quickly reasserted.

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Okay, this isn’t actually all that bad, but what are these four ladies doing? Whatever it is, I think it is illegal in about 17 states.

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I’m not typically in favor of the federal government telling us what to do. However, I believe that I could stand behind a federal law banning a guy from dressing like this. At the very least, he should have his Man Club membership revoked.

Follow-up To Bathroom Rules

You may recall my previous post on Bathroom Rules for men. I ran into this YouTube video “Male Restroom Etiquette” today. It is absolutely hilarious. Check it out.

Bathroom Rules For Men

We were having dinner with our best friends last night and after several people came back from the restroom, we started discussing public restrooms and how people use and misuse them. I know, this is already sounding disturbing: discussing bathrooms at the dinner table in a restaurant. However, the discussion got me thinking about some unwritten rules about using a public restroom that I have followed for years. So now, whether you want them or not, I am now publishing the rules. The background on my reasoning for a couple of these rules is explained in a previous post, Men and Public Restrooms. You may want to read that post first if you have not already done so.

Talking

  • Talking is not allowed while using a toilet or urinal. The only exception is a life-threatening medical emergency. Even then, it’s preferable to get out of the restroom before talking.
  • Talking is acceptable while using the sink, but it must be with someone else. No talking to yourself.
  • Talking is tolerated, but highly discouraged, while standing in line
  • Cell phone usage is not allowed anywhere in the restroom (see life-threatening emergency exception above)
  • For purposes of these rules, the definition of talking is expanded to include: whistling, humming, singing, moaning, and groaning–basically any sound generated from the neck up.

Flushing

  • Always flush when you are finished
  • It’s acceptable to pre-flush a toilet if the last person was not considerate enough to do so. However, you don’t need to pre-flush a urinal. I’m pretty certain your urine combined with someone else’s will not create a toxic cloud or cause an explosion. Save the water–but flush after you are done.
  • Don’t flush with your foot. There are way more germs on your shoe than the handle. You’re are just compounding the problem. Plus, you should be washing your hands right after, so if there are any germs they’ll be washed away.

Stalls

  • A casual glance to see if someone is in a stall is fine, but no up-close peering (Senator Craig). The best test is a gentle push on the door to see if it is locked.
  • If all stalls but the handicap one is in use, use the handicap stall so long as someone in a wheelchair is not in line behind you. There are no fines for using a handicap stall.
  • Always lock the door
  • Unless the seat is obviously messy, there’s no need for cleaning. I’ve listened to some several-minute-long rituals of spraying Lysol, scrubbing with toilet paper, flushing, and applying a seat cover. This in a professional office building where the facilities are well maintained. It’s an unnecessary waste of time and money. Think about it, butt cheeks might very well be the cleanest part of the body. You take a shower, then apply a couple layers of clothing. There’s not much opportunity for a lot of germs on the part of the body that touches the toilet seat. Items touched by hands are exponentially dirtier than a toilet seat. (Great, now I’m probably going to have co-workers spraying everything in sight with Lysol.)
  • Never pick up paper off the floor. I think this one is common sense, but I threw it in for Senator Craig’s benefit.
  • If you are out of paper, do not ask for someone to pass paper to you (refer to the talking rules)

Urinals

  • If all urinals are in use and a stall is available, use it.
  • Always look straight ahead
  • Both hands must always remain “down there”. No hands on the hips, behind the head, or behind the back. No arms resting on the wall.

So there you have it. You may want to print this out for future reference. That way, if you ever have any questions, you’ll have the answers right there with you. I may consider creating credit card-sized laminated guides for a reasonable price if there is enough demand. I’d also love to hear if you have any additional rules I should consider adding.

Men and Public Restrooms

Okay, now I realize this title could be a bit disturbing–particularly after the Larry Craig incident. However, I assure you this is not like that. This is merely a rant where I assert that 75% of men do not know how to properly use a public restroom.

Despite the high journalistic standards employed by Dad in the Headlights, this figure is not based on a scientific sampling of public restrooms. Rather, it’s a ballpark figure based on my experiences. Let’s set the stage. Imagine you are at a sports event and it’s halftime. You (a man) hit the restroom to pee because of the beers you’ve been enjoying. Everyone else also waited for halftime, so you are waiting in line.

Here’s where things start annoying me. 50% of men will not use a stall to pee when all the urinals are taken. Why is that? Do all these people have home urinals, so they aren’t used to using a toilet to pee? The other 50% (those that don’t have home urinals) will actually use a toilet. Great. They are helping use the restroom to its full capacity so that we can all get back to the game faster. Unfortunately, 50% of these folks still get it wrong.

Of those that use a stall to pee, 50% do not lock the door. What is wrong with you? While privacy may not be as much of an issue since your back is turned, do you really want someone bursting in and smacking you with the door? I really don’t want to peer through the door or under the stall to see if someone is in there (I’m not Larry Craig after all). The test of whether a stall is in use is whether it’s locked or not.

So there you have it, only 25% of men know how to use a public restroom. Happy peeing!