High School MeMe

John recently completed this high school meme. It looked like fun, so I’m following suite. Feel free to post your own and let me know.

1. Did you date someone from your school? My high school years were sad and pathetic romantically (and in most other ways as well). I didn’t date in high school. 

2. Did you marry someone from your high school? No, I married someone from my wife’s high school.

3. Did you car pool to school? Sometimes. Mostly though, I walked before I got my license and drove by myself after. 

4. What kind of car did you have? A puke-green 1975 Chevy Vega. This may explain my answer to #1.

5. What kind of car do you have now? A red 2008 Toyota Corolla.

6. Its Friday night…where are you now? Watching TV and having a beer.

7. It is Friday night…where were you then? You would probably find me with John. Either at his house, my house, a high school sports game, or cruising. And if we were cruising, you’d find us chugging…a 7-11 Super Big Gulp. 

8. What kind of job did you have in high school? I was a gas station attendant at a Chevron gas station.

9. What kind of job do you do now? I’m an IS Administrator.

10. Were you a party animal? No.

11. Were you considered a flirt? No.

12. Were you in band, orchestra, or choir? Yes, I was a band nerd. Yet more evidence for #1.

13. Were you a nerd? I won the trifecta of nerd-dom: band, science club, and chess club.

14. Did you get suspended from school? No, not in high school. I was suspended once or twice in Middle School.

15. Can you sing the fight song? No. However, it is to the tune of On Wisconsin. I guess our school was too poor to come up with its own song.

16. Who was/were your favorite teacher? Ms. Richter (Math) and Mr. Endicott (Social Studies).

17. Where did you sit during lunch? In a chair like everyone else.

18. What was your school’s full name? Ontario High School

19. Where did you party the most? My place or John’s.

20. What was your school mascot? The Tigers! And this was during the 80s. In band, we played Eye of the Tigers so much it made our ears bleed.

21. Would you do it again? Only if I could do it right this time.

22. Did you have fun at Prom? Do we have to keep bringing up dating? Are you tring to rub salt into the wound? Please again refer to #1.

23. Do you still talk to the person you went to Prom with? One last time, see #1.

24. Are you planning on going to your next reunion? Most likely. It makes for some cheap entertainment.

25. Do you still talk to people from school? A few of them.

26. What are/were your school’s colors? Cardinal & Corn, whatever the heck those are. How about red and yellow?

My Needs

This meme is coming at me from several places, but I’ll give John the official nod on it.

Here’s how it works: Google “[your first name] needs” and share the first 10 results. That’s it: it is that simple. But be honest! You’re also supposed to tag 10 other people. I’m not going to formally tag anyone, but if you read this consider yourself tagged anyway.

Bryan needs…a top (ummm nope…already got one thanks)

Bryan needs…money (word)

Bryan needs…a job (got one of those already…guess a second one could be okay)

Bryan needs…help urgently (quick, before I die right here in front of you)

Bryan needs…a title for his homepage (I rather like the one I have, thanks anyway)

Bryan needs…to ink me ASAP (what, now you want me to give you a tattoo?)

Bryan needs…a job (sorry, I draw the limit at 2 jobs)

Bryan needs…survive (yes, I would very much like that)

Bryan needs…a pad (well, I wouldn’t mind a nicer one to be honest, but the economy is tough right now)

Bryan needs…Johnson (sicko)

Punday, October 12th

Bob’s co-workers noted that he worked at about 50% of his capabilities. He did a half fast job.

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DITH On Location in Cascade, Idaho

For the next week, DITH will be on location in beautiful Cascade, Idaho keeping you up to date on the latest events there. This may include none, one, some, or all of the following:

  • Reflections on my recently-completed employment of 17 years (yawn)
  • Thoughts on my new job starting soon (double yawn)
  • Exciting happenings in Cascade (crickets)
  • Random blatherings from my mind (razor blades to the wrist)
  • Fishing experiences from novice fishermen, fisherpeople..whatever we have to call them now (there may actually be something funny stuff from this).

As always, this exclusive content is available at no extra charge. However, contributions are always happily accepted.

I’ve Got a Job!

Those of you that follow this blog regularly may recall that I found out last fall that I would be losing my job to outsourcing in July. I’ve been looking inside and outside my company since then and had not been successful in finding something that was a good fit.

Well, that has finally changed for the good. I was just offered a position as the IT Administrator for a small manufacturing company. Basically, I’m going to be their one-man IT department. It is going to be a radical change from being in a very specialized position at a large company to a jack of all trades at a small company. However, I’m looking forward to the new challenge, and thankfully they are willing let me work through the learning curve on some of the areas that I’m not as strong in.

Since one blog is not enough, I’m starting a new blog called One Man IT Shop to chronicle my transformation from a Fortune 500 IT foot soldier to the general of a one-man IT army. It’s going to bore the snot out of just about everyone. I put the chances at less than 50% that even one person will be interested. But it’s mostly there for me anyway.

Messed Up Job Description

Today, I was reviewing the job description for a job I am considering applying for. This is an IT-related job. I read through the first 2-1/2 pages and it was pretty typical stuff that I would expect for the job. But then I got to the end. Check this crazy stuff out–along with my famous commentary in italics. Keep in mind as you are reading that this is a computer job. You know, one where I get to sit on my butt all day and get paid for it.

PHYSICAL DEMANDS

 

While performing the duties of this job, the employee is regularly required to talk or hear (check).  The employee frequently is required to walk; sit; use hand to finger, handle, or feel (ummm…this sounds like fun…apparently they do not have a sexual harassment policy…sweet!); reach with hand and arms and use a computer (gosh, can’t I just roll my chair up to the keyboard instead of reaching?).  The employee is occasionally required to stand; climb or balance; stoop, kneel, crouch, or crawl (what the hell is this, a computer job or American Gladiators?); and taste or smell (okay, now we’re getting somewhere…so I get free food? woo hoo!).  The employee must occasionally lift and/or move up to 50 pounds. (what, so now you want me to carry stuff around? okay, whatever.)

 

WORK ENVIRONMENT

 

While performing the duties of this job, the employee is normally in an office environment (duh, thanks there Einstein).  The employee is occasionally exposed to heat, welding, moving mechanical parts, toxic or caustic chemicals (so how am I supposed to do the fingering and handling if my limbs have been melted off by chemicals?), risk of electrical shock, and loud noises (so I have to be able to talk and hear while you are blasting me with loud noises? Awfully demanding I must say.).

Great New Jobs

As many of you know, I’m looking for a new job. My plan was to stay in the same field, but hey, if the right job comes along in another field, I might give it a try. cnn.com posted an article on “Some really odd jobs”. So sit back, relax, and help me sort through some of these to see if they might be suitable for me.

1. Breath odor evaluator

Not a big fan of the whole outsourcing or illegal immigrant labor thing, but maybe this is a job that Americans just won’t do.

2. Diener

What they do: Prepare cadavers for the pathologist before autopsies are performed in hospitals.

For those Generation X and older, do you remember watching the opening credits to Quincy, M.E. in the 70s? Remember where Quincy was talking to the line-up of cops by a cadaver. Then when he pulled the sheet off, the officers all fainted one-by-one. Yeah, that’s me, collapsing to the floor. (To reminisce on that opening, click here.)

4. Ocularist

What they do: In short, they paint artificial eyes. It sounds easier than it is, since as with real eyes, no two are exactly the same.

Wow, that sounds like a very interesting, rewarding career. I believe that I would enjoy this for tens of seconds before I quit.

5. Flatulence smell-reduction underwear maker

What they do: Create underwear that protect against bad human gas for people who suffer from gastrointestinal problems. The underwear is made with various materials and filters to help remedy hydrogen sulfide gases, the main offender in foul smells.

I guess making it wouldn’t be so bad. I just don’t want to be the tester. I’d happily delegate that.

6. Beer tester

What they do: Taste — and spit out — beer all day to approve new and existing flavors.

Finally, a career right my alley–getting paid to drink taste beer all day. No boss, really, I promise to spit it all out.

7. Crack filler

This is wrong on so many levels, that I don’t even want to comment on it. I try to keep this blog PG-13 or cleaner.

8. Ball tester

Well, I have no interest in being a tester. I would like to sign up to be a test subject depending upon the circumstances. (That’s still PG-13, right?)

9. Video game tester

What they do: For eight hours a day, five days a week, a group of males and females of all ages play video games. They repeat levels, games and characters, looking for any bugs and/or glitches in the software.

Sweetness! This might be the best one so far. I can sit on my butt, eat chips, chug Mountain Dew, and play. I love it!

10. Tampon tester

Pass.

11. Gold reclaimer

What they do: Scour old teeth for fillings, melting the gold from them with broken gold jewelry into tiny gold pellets, which is then re-sold to jewelers.

So I get to go whack old people and pull their teeth out? I mean, it sounds like a good way to relieve some stress, but are you sure it’s legal?

12. Dog sniffer

What they do: Once a week, they analyze the odor of dog’s breath to test the effect of their diet on their teeth. Breath is graded on a scale of zero to 10 and is categorized as sweaty, salty, musty, fungal or decaying.

“…musty, fungal, or decaying.” (shivers) Add this one to the illegal immigrant/outsource list.

13. Potato chip inspector

What they do: Search for over-cooked or clumped chips to discard as they come down the assembly line.

Mmmm…daddy like. I’ll check into this one also. Ooops…there’s another “defective” one (crunch).

14. Porta-potty servicer

What they do: Like regular restrooms, portable toilets need maintenance, too. Once a week, service workers clean these single-stall facilities to achieve certain standards of sanitation.

It’s really every little boy’s dream, though you’ll never get any of us to admit it: To drive around all day sucking the crap out of porta-potty tanks all over town…yeah.

17. Safe cracker

What they do: When combinations are lost or forgotten, safe crackers use their ears and fingers to open the safe.

I could do this, but only if my tool of choice could be dynamite.

19. Paper towel sniffer

What they do: Paper towel manufacturers prefer their products to be odorless before, during and after their use. Naturally, paper towel sniffers ensure that once a paper towel is used, there is no noticeable scent.

There seems to be a lot of demand for people to sniff things and rate the hideousness thereof. Outsource all of these, please.

20. Foley artist

What they do: Use whatever they can find to create and record the noises used to make the sound effects in films, like heavy footsteps, rolling thunder or creaking doors.

I don’t fancy myself an artist, but this actually sounds like fun.