Stealth Vegetables

Those who have known me throughout the years know that I have an unnatural fear of vegetables. Okay, maybe fear is not the right word. Hate is probably closer to the truth. Just give me my meat and potatoes and no one will get hurt.

I have actually come a long ways over the years. I believe that since childhood I have doubled the number of vegetables I’ll eat. Yes, that’s right, I’ll eat corn and green beans now!

V8 is absolutely hideous. Sure, squeeze all the liquid out of the veggies I don’t like and put them into a can. The smell of the stuff nearly makes me puke. Jack Bauer could get me to spill the beans on anything by just pouring some V8 into my mouth.

However, they have come out with a new product that is fantastic: V8 V-Fusion. An 8 ounce serving provides a serving a fruit and a serving of vegetables while tasting pretty much like a fruit drink. Plus it has vitamins and antioxidants or some sort of other crap like that. So I can get my veggies, while thinking I am downing a tasty fruit drink. This is sweet. I can eat (okay, drink) healthier without enduring the nastiness of vegetables.

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Al-Qaeda Mice?

Mice are simply a fact of life on a ranch. It’s not a matter of if you’ll have them–it’s a matter of how well you can keep them under control. Our secret weapon is a little firebrand Calico we like to call Sammie. She is our only indoor-outdoor cat–all the others are indoors only.

Apparently the mice in our area are members of the Al-Qaeda rodent division (wait, isn’t that redundant?). This is the only way I can explain the unspeakable torture that Sammie inflicts upon these creatures before finally killing them. I can only guess that she is extracting crucial intelligence data on impending terror attacks from them. I mean, she the feline answer to Jack Bauer.

She is extremely patient in her work. She’ll sit or lie in wait for long periods of time in an area where she suspects the enemy to be hiding. When one finally comes out of hiding, she pounces on it and picks it up with her mouth. The tooth punctures inflict mortal wounds upon the mouse.

However, as I mentioned, she doesn’t finish it off right away. She’ll then drop it back on the ground. The wounded mouse will struggle and try to escape. If it gets too far away, she’ll attack again and inflict more wounds.

After awhile, it may get a foot or two away, but then stop. The injuries are just too severe. Once the mouse stops moving, Sammie will go over and bat at it with her paw to wake it up. This cycle is repeated several times as she gleans more and more data to help prevent the next big mouse terrorist attack. After a several cycles of torture, the mouse finally succumbs to its injuries. Then it’s on to the next victim.

Thanks to the great patriot Sammie for protecting our freedom and way of life from the Al-Qaeda mice.

A 24 Fix is in the Works

I cried inconsolably for days when I heard that season 7 of Fox’s 24 would not air at all this year–instead delayed until January of 2009. I have been suffering severe withdrawals ever since.

Fox recently provided a glimmer of hope by announcing a “preqeul” that will bridge the gap between seasons 6 and 7. This two hour show will air this fall and serve to ease some of the withdrawal pains prior to season 7 commencing in January, 2009.

Also, to the producers: You’ve had plenty of time with this extra year off. Make sure 24 doesn’t suck this year. If it does, season 7 will be the last one.

The Death of 24?

I discovered 24 about 3 years ago. I rented the DVDs and loved them. I watched the past couple of seasons pretty much live (instead of the usual TiVo I do with other shows) with the Older Daughter and loved it. Last season kind of sucked, but I had hopes that season 7 would turn things around. Then we had the writer’s strike, Kiefer Sutherland spent time in jail, then we found out that 24 would be delayed to 2009, and now we find out that co-creator/executive producer Joel Surnow has left 24. Is there any chance that 2009 isn’t 24’s last season?