I’ve Got a Job!

Those of you that follow this blog regularly may recall that I found out last fall that I would be losing my job to outsourcing in July. I’ve been looking inside and outside my company since then and had not been successful in finding something that was a good fit.

Well, that has finally changed for the good. I was just offered a position as the IT Administrator for a small manufacturing company. Basically, I’m going to be their one-man IT department. It is going to be a radical change from being in a very specialized position at a large company to a jack of all trades at a small company. However, I’m looking forward to the new challenge, and thankfully they are willing let me work through the learning curve on some of the areas that I’m not as strong in.

Since one blog is not enough, I’m starting a new blog called One Man IT Shop to chronicle my transformation from a Fortune 500 IT foot soldier to the general of a one-man IT army. It’s going to bore the snot out of just about everyone. I put the chances at less than 50% that even one person will be interested. But it’s mostly there for me anyway.

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Messed Up Job Description

Today, I was reviewing the job description for a job I am considering applying for. This is an IT-related job. I read through the first 2-1/2 pages and it was pretty typical stuff that I would expect for the job. But then I got to the end. Check this crazy stuff out–along with my famous commentary in italics. Keep in mind as you are reading that this is a computer job. You know, one where I get to sit on my butt all day and get paid for it.

PHYSICAL DEMANDS

 

While performing the duties of this job, the employee is regularly required to talk or hear (check).  The employee frequently is required to walk; sit; use hand to finger, handle, or feel (ummm…this sounds like fun…apparently they do not have a sexual harassment policy…sweet!); reach with hand and arms and use a computer (gosh, can’t I just roll my chair up to the keyboard instead of reaching?).  The employee is occasionally required to stand; climb or balance; stoop, kneel, crouch, or crawl (what the hell is this, a computer job or American Gladiators?); and taste or smell (okay, now we’re getting somewhere…so I get free food? woo hoo!).  The employee must occasionally lift and/or move up to 50 pounds. (what, so now you want me to carry stuff around? okay, whatever.)

 

WORK ENVIRONMENT

 

While performing the duties of this job, the employee is normally in an office environment (duh, thanks there Einstein).  The employee is occasionally exposed to heat, welding, moving mechanical parts, toxic or caustic chemicals (so how am I supposed to do the fingering and handling if my limbs have been melted off by chemicals?), risk of electrical shock, and loud noises (so I have to be able to talk and hear while you are blasting me with loud noises? Awfully demanding I must say.).