How to Avoid Exercise (or, I’m the Laziest Person on the Planet)

I’m just about the laziest person on the planet (just ask The Wife). I know that I should be exercising to be healthier (and shed a few pounds), but I just can’t bring myself to do it. Well, after extensive research by the DITH Wellness Department, we have found a viable alternative to exercise: drinking alcohol.

Benjamin Franklin said “Beer is living proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy.” According to an article at time.com, this is absolutely true. It seems that those who do not drink and do not exercise have the highest risk of heart disease. Those who exercise or drink have a 30% reduction in risk. Finally, those freaks that exercise but are smart enough to also drink, have a 50% reduction in risk.

So if a couple drinks per day will replace some exercise, then lots of drinks will replace lots of exercise, right? I don’t know, there may have been some caveats or something later in the article. But when I hit the part about alcohol replacing exercise, I got up and did a little Snoopy celebration dance. Okay, not for very long because I didn’t want to cross that line into exercise.

Anyway, cheers to your good health!

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