In-Depth Analysis of Super Bowl XLIV

Well, Super Bowl is just hours away and I as am excited about this year’s game as ever. It promises to be a thrilling classic match-up between…uhhh…hold on just a second while I Google that. Okay, looks like it’s going to be the New Orleans Saints against the Indianapolis Colts.

Okay, you got me. I am not a pro football fan. Not in the least. During the regular season, I’ll watch for a little while since it seems to be something I’m supposed to do as a man. But after not too long, I’m looking for something to read or something else to do while The Wife watches the game (messed up, huh?). Now I know that this post will be submitted as prosecutor’s exhibit #1 when the Man Club takes me to court to revoke my membership, but I just don’t care.

Super Bowl is a different story, but it’s not about the game itself. Every year, we get together with several other families and make a day of it. There’s always lots of food, fun, and laughs. As for the game, I’m all about the commercials. As we all know, the advertisers turn it up a notch and really try to entertain us to keep our eyes glued on what they are trying to sell us. We get to find out which sappy Budweiser horse commercial will make The Wife cry; how close GoDaddy will go to the edge of FCC regulations; and see the creative jabs that Coke and Pepsi take at each other. Of course there are always a handful that make you ask: “They spent $3 million for that?”

You’ll catch me nodding off in complete boredom during actual game play, so I just ask that the others wake me up for the commercials and maybe the half-time show. I’m going to see if I can con the clan into TiVo-ing the game. Then we’ll start watching about 2 hours into the actual game and (pause for genius moment) fast forward through the game to see only the commercials! I love it! That’s what needs to happen to create a completely perfect Super Bowl event–at least from my standpoint.

The Things a Dad Has to Do

The Older Daughter is taking a physical therapy class in high school. For extra practice for the class, she has been going to the high school football games to help out if someone gets injured.

For further practice, she asked me to let her bandage my ankle (like you might need if you sprain your ankle). I was more than happy to oblige. This was all great until I had to remove the tape. Let’s just say that I now have little to no hair where the taping took place (I am quite hairy). It was also quite painful. I guess there is some product called pre-wrap that we need to get to avoid the very painful removal of hair. I’ll be buying a pallet of that stuff tomorrow. Sheesh…so is this what waxing is like?

It almost makes me long for the kids’ younger days. I few times, I let them paint my toenails. That only tickled a little bit and that was okay. Okay, I guess this is okay too. Just ignore the screams of pain!

Get Off My Tail!

I recently posted an awesome quote from Homer Simpson on tailgating.

This led me to a blog on tailgating that is incredible. If you are at all into tailgating, you need to check this one out. It will answer all your questions. Check it out.

Homer Simpson’s Wisdom

Homer Simpson is not generally regarded as a very smart fellow. However, he had a fantastic monologue tonight in response to his kids asking why they were going to the football game so early.

“We’re not here for the game. The game is nothing. The game is crap. The game makes me sick. The real reason we Americans put up with sports is for this: Behold, the tailgate party. The pinnacle of human achievement. Since the dawn of parking lots, man has sought to fill his gut with food and alcohol in anticipation of watching others exercise.”

Brilliant! And generally how I feel about football, anyway.