In-Depth Analysis of Super Bowl XLIV

Well, Super Bowl is just hours away and I as am excited about this year’s game as ever. It promises to be a thrilling classic match-up between…uhhh…hold on just a second while I Google that. Okay, looks like it’s going to be the New Orleans Saints against the Indianapolis Colts.

Okay, you got me. I am not a pro football fan. Not in the least. During the regular season, I’ll watch for a little while since it seems to be something I’m supposed to do as a man. But after not too long, I’m looking for something to read or something else to do while The Wife watches the game (messed up, huh?). Now I know that this post will be submitted as prosecutor’s exhibit #1 when the Man Club takes me to court to revoke my membership, but I just don’t care.

Super Bowl is a different story, but it’s not about the game itself. Every year, we get together with several other families and make a day of it. There’s always lots of food, fun, and laughs. As for the game, I’m all about the commercials. As we all know, the advertisers turn it up a notch and really try to entertain us to keep our eyes glued on what they are trying to sell us. We get to find out which sappy Budweiser horse commercial will make The Wife cry; how close GoDaddy will go to the edge of FCC regulations; and see the creative jabs that Coke and Pepsi take at each other. Of course there are always a handful that make you ask: “They spent $3 million for that?”

You’ll catch me nodding off in complete boredom during actual game play, so I just ask that the others wake me up for the commercials and maybe the half-time show. I’m going to see if I can con the clan into TiVo-ing the game. Then we’ll start watching about 2 hours into the actual game and (pause for genius moment) fast forward through the game to see only the commercials! I love it! That’s what needs to happen to create a completely perfect Super Bowl event–at least from my standpoint.

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Man Club Membership Suspension

Our best friends visited us this weekend. The male of the couple was talking about some very interesting celebrity story. When I asked him where he heard about it, he replied “The Oprah Show”. The reason that I cannot remember what he was talking about, is that the mention of The Oprah Show caused an immediate erasure of any memories associated with reference to the show.

I demanded the immediate surrender of his Man Club card pending official ruling by the Supreme Council of Men on the matter. I don’t believe that a male can willingly view The Oprah Show for any period of time and still retain his membership. I don’t care if Angelina Jolie, Jessica Simpson, and Pamela Anderson are appearing and if the FCC has temporarily suspended it’s standards to allow nudity. A man simply cannot view this show.

Your thoughts?