Major Job Trends For 2008

CNN published an article today on the Major Job Trends For 2008. Strap yourselves in for Dad In The Headlight’s expert commentary on the article.

No. 1: Bigger Paychecks

Excellent. So far, so good.

No. 2: More Flexible Work Arrangements

More good news. So this means if I just don’t feel like coming into work on a given day, I don’t have to right? Or if I want to take a little nap, that’s fine?

No. 3: Screening Candidates via the Internet

Hey, you can get porn, pedophiles, viruses, cheap drugs, and financial scams with the Internet…why not employees also?

No. 4: Rehiring Retirees

Hmmm…I think we’re headed in the wrong direction now. I’m not sure I want a bunch of cane-wielding, Alzheimer’s sufferers running amok in the office.

No. 5: Diversity Recruitment

It’s always a good plan to diversify just for diversity’s sake rather than simply hiring the best regardless of any of the stupid categories we place ourselves in.

No. 6: Freelance or Contract Hiring

Sweet. Sounds like a good way to avoid paying benefits and eliminate any sense of job security.

No. 7: More Comprehensive Healthcare Benefits and Special Perks

In light of rising healthcare costs, 19 percent of employers report their companies plan to offer more comprehensive or better health benefits to employees in 2008. One-in-ten employers plan to offer more perks such as bonuses, discounts, company cars, stock options, free childcare, educational reimbursement, transit passes and wellness programs.

The math here escapes me. Healthcare costs are going through the roof, so employers are going to offer more of it? And cars, stock options, child care, etc. helps my health how?

No. 8: Career Advancement

Oh pick me, pick me! I want to be CEO for just one year. I promise I’ll jump out and pull the ripcord on my golden parachute after that and you’ll never see me again.

Gotta Love Public Educashun

Our family had dinner at Garbanzo’s (the best pizza in the Treasure Valley by the way) last week. While waiting for our pizza, we were going through one of those trivia question things that you often find on the tables in mom-and-pop restaurants. Things were going pretty well until we came to the question “What country is north of Idaho?” The Younger Daughter (4th grade) answered Alaska (hello, that’s a state, not a country); The Older Daughter (9th grade) had no clue. I was floored. I consider myself reasonably intelligent and thought that The Wife and I (and even the public schools) had done a good job of educating our kids. How could they not know that Canada is north of the United States?

To give them a chance to redeem themselves, I asked a follow-up question: “What country is south of Texas?” Crickets could be heard as I waited for an answer. Once again, they had no clue. How is this? What geography are the public schools teaching our kids if not such basics as what countries border the United States? I am now convinced that our country is doomed.