Here’s Your Sign

When I was younger, most traffic signs simply had words. However, now that only like 2% of the population speaks English, we have all these confusing signs with vague cartoon-like pictures. Sometimes, I’ve had difficulties figuring out what the sign means. But I think I’ve got them all straightened out now. So as a public service from the DITH Public Safety Department, here are what some select traffic signs mean–oh, and maybe some appropriate commentary as needed. I’ll also throw in commentary on some of the few signs that still have words.


Awesome! I’ve always hated those ankle-biters at the mall that lurk in the shadows and then spring out asking you to participate in a survey. I wish they would better their education so they could get a real job. Anyway, this sign will help me steer clear of this annoyance.


Lather, rinse, repeat, right?




Logos need to be updated occasionally to keep up with the times. This is the new peace symbol.



 One drunk ahead



Two drunks ahead




Three drunks ahead




I’ve always felt bad about this one. This is telling us that a decapitated, hand-less, foot-less person could be crossing the road. But I guess that I shouldn’t feel too bad. It’s great that he is out there being a productive member of society despite the challenges of multiple limb losses.




See, this is just so awesome that these courageous members of society with huge physical challenges are still able to engage in gainful employment.



They are able to go to school, too. Though I have always thought this sign to be a bit sexist. Notice the boy helping the girl across the road with his stump of a hand. What, she can’t get across on her own?


It just warms my heart that such horribly disfigured individual are still able to engage in life-enriching sports and recreational activities. 



But sadly, there are still some places that these folks are not welcomed. We’ve come a long way, but there are still some people that we need to fully welcome into society.


Oh, I remember this one from grade school math:  5  7


Instead, run like hell!

Sign images are from the
Manual of Traffic Signs, by
Richard C. Moeur.