Birthday Concert Addendum

Despite the tsunami of negativity in my previous post (Concert Rants), the concert was actually awesome. I didn’t include the most awesome thing of all that happened. It’s a long story, but we had to take separate vehicles to get there. While waiting for the rest of the family, the Older Daughter dropped by the sponsoring radio station’s booth and signed up for a contest to win an upgrade to front-and-center seats.

Well, as we were about to be seated, she got a call that she had won! So she and The Wife sat in the front row and had a great time. It was an added treat for The Wife on her birthday.

Concert Rants

Several nights ago, the whole family took The Wife to the Reba McEntire and Kelly Clarkson concert at Taco Bell Arena. This was to celebrate her (mumble)th birthday. It was a great concert. We’ve have been Reba fans for years and Kelly Clarkson is also quite a talented performer.

However, attending this concert reminded me of some of the things that really bother me about the whole concert experience. Mostly, I’m reminded that people suck. Anyway, here are a few of the things that bug the heck out of me:

  • Okay, does the security check really accomplish anything other than slowing me down, driving ticket prices higher, and giving the ignorant a false sense of security? The Wife had to open up her bag, but the revolver I had in my jacket pocket went completely unnoticed. (No, I didn’t really have a weapon. But I would have gotten through with no problem with one.)
  • What’s with these people that have to leave their seats like 57 times during the concert? They paid $60 to see this thing and they are leaving every 5 minutes for food, drinks, potty breaks, or whatever. Sit your butt down and watch the concert. I’ll give you just one courtesy coupon to leave your seat over and above intermission.
  • Then there’s those three gals (yes, call me sexist but they usually are of the female persuasion) sitting behind me at every concert that talk and giggle the whole time. Again…you paid $60 for this experience. Shut up and watch.
  • Oh, and then there’s that guy that can do the really loud fingers-in-the-mouth whistle thing. He always seems to do it as I turn an ear his way and it is so loud that it physically hurts. I’m always tempted to break this guy’s fingers. But maybe I’m just jealous because I don’t know how to do it.
  • How about that one lady? You know her. She’s in her late 60s, maybe early 70s. She has her fingers in her ears the whole time and is scowling over how loud it is. Hellooooo. Concerts are loud. Get over it. It wasn’t a good concert unless your ears rang for several days.
  • Okay, let me reiterate an earlier point. You paid 60 hard-earned dollars to attend this event. You’ve gone through the hassle of parking, long walks, security checkpoints, as well as the other pinheads I’ve already discussed above. After all this, you decide to leave before the concert is over? What form of insanity are you in the grips of? For $60, security will be dragging me out at about 2am after the place is all cleaned up and they are trying to lock the place up and go home.
  • Finally, what is with this stupid encore fiasco? What a stupid, contrived little game we all play. I imagine that in the early days of concerts (whenever that was) that the crowd loved a performance so much, that their excessive applause genuinely made an act decide to sing a few more songs. But now, we all know that it’s a given. The house lights don’t go up when the act says goodbye. More importantly, they have not yet played the 2-4 songs that we really want to hear. Cut the crap and just do the concert. Let’s end the encore game.

It really was a good concert, but I had to get these things off my chest. They’ve been bugging me literally for decades. Thanks for listening!

How Well-Rounded Are You?

Thanks to Matt for this one.

I’m quite round thank you very much. Oh…you mean culturally. Below are 40 question to see how well-rounded I am. I’d love to hear your answers. Feel free to post to your blog, give me a shout, and I’ll go take a look.

1. Been to a play: Yes, at pretty much all levels (elementary school through professional). I was even in a play: I played a very small part in a high school production of South Pacific when I was probably about 10 (I thought it was the coolest thing at the time).

2. Bungee jumped or something similar: No way. That kind of stuff scares the crap out of me.

3. Been a mentor/big brother/big sister: Nope.

4. Read at least one of the classics (War and Peace, The Great Gatsby, The Red Badge of Courage, Beowulf, Crime and Punishment, etc): Don’t think I have. How about I watch the movie instead?  J

5. Stood up for someone publicly: Trying to think…I guess not.

6. Been on a major roller coaster: The only one so far is the one at California Adventure. It’s the one that does a couple of upside-down loops on Mickey’s ears. Scared the crap out of me/loved every minute of it.

7. Been to a drive-in movie: Yes and I love it. A truly American experience that everyone needs to do.

8. Done something at a drive-in movie other than watch the movie: I wish.

9. Done volunteer work: Nope, not very much. Not proud of this fact either.

10. Given a toast at a wedding, a eulogy at a funeral, or some similar, meaningful speech: No, and am not interested in doing so. I’ve got big time stage fright.”

11. Been to a major sports playoff game: I’ve been to maybe a couple dozen Portland Trailblazer games.

12. Thrown a costume or theme party: We hosted a murder myster party several years back. It was a ton of fun. Gotta do it again sometime.

13. Been on or near the set of a major motion picture: Nope. Mostly lived in po-dunk towns very far away from movie filmings.

14. Taken a compliment well: Yes, I try to. I’m usually uncomfortable inside, but do the best I can.

15. Planted a tree: I planted a couple last summer, then accidentally murdered one with the lawn mower L.

16. Been stung by a jellyfish or something similar in/near the ocean: Thankfully, no.

17. Quit a crappy job:  Kind of. I quite a job at a gas station when I was in college when I didn’t get a promised raise. Then I went crawling back not too long after that.

18. Been on a blind date: No way!

19. Done something kind and unexpected for a stranger: Nothing of note.

20. Had a major surgery: Does an appendectomy count? I had this done when I was in college. My roommate was kind enough to bring me home from the hospital. Unfortunately, the electricity was out in the dorm and I had to climb 8 flights of stairs after a major surgery…ugh!.

21. Taken a car/truck road trip that covered at least 6 states: Not since I was a kid. We drove from Oregon to Arkansas for Christmas one year. It was not pretty.

22. Been in 4 or more countries: Just made the cut here. Of course, I live in the United States; I’ve been to Canada and Mexico for pleasure; and I’ve been to Japan for business.

23. Spent New Year’s Eve somewhere special: I’m always with special people, but never anywhere particularly special. I want to do Times Square just once.

24. Visited an ancient landmark: No.

25. Been face to face with a celebrity by chance: No.

26. Given to charity in the past two years: Yes.

27. Helped a stray animal: Yes, I’ve got a bunch of bleeding-heart animal lovers in the household, so it seems we are forever helping some hapless creature.

28. Dated someone you met online: When I was dating, there was no such thing as “meeting online”. Despite my pleas, my wife doesn’t really appreciate me looking for chicks online (or offline as far as that goes).

29. Won money on a long shot: Won $500 once in a state lottery game.

30. Won your office/family/friends NCAA tournament pool: Nope, I suck at those things.

31. Won an award/medal (even if something “small”): I was in the “Who’s Who Among American High School Students” in 1986. I’m not sure it’s a legitimate honor—I think it’s just a ploy to get proud parents to buy a book.32. Driven a foreign sports car: No.

33. Been in the front row for a concert: Nope.

34. Attended a symphony orchestra performance: Yes, I’ve seen Boston Pops a couple of times. Fabulous.

35. Caught a criminal in the act and did something about it (reported it, smacked them in the head, etc): Nada.

36. Sung solo on a stage: Never, and let’s not let that happen.

37. Witnessed something supernatural: No, and have no interest in doing so.

38. Covered for someone (who deserved it) at work: No.

39. Overcome a major fear: Yes, I had a fear of flying for many years. Overcame it about 4 years ago with the help of a friend and by just investigating the facts on how air travel works and how truley safe it is.

40. Mailed a surprise care package to a loved one: Sheesh, I suck. No

Wow, thanks for reading all the way through. Now go fill out yours!