Fun Car Gadget

You may recall from a previous post that I would like to develop a small tactical nuke to take out drivers that piss me off. I’m still working on that, but have had another idea in my mind for quite some time: an LED sign for the rear car window. That way, I can let the person behind me know what I really think. Well, as it turns out, someone stole my idea. For $60, you can get a 10″ by 2″ LED message board that mounts in the rear window. This is fantastic!

I might just have to get one. I was sitting here tonight thinking of what messages I would like to program in. After all, it can take up to 98. Here are a few I thought of:

  • The 60s are over hippy freak
  • Get the frick out of the left lane
  • Buckle up your kid, moron
  • Nice headlights
  • Your gas hatch is open
  • Ha, ha, passed you
  • Have a good day
  • Life sucks
  • Why do you want your dog dead?
  • In a wacky mood
  • Bet you can’t catch me
  • Slow poke

My Failed Career as a Mechanic

About 10 years ago, I picked up a crappy old Mazda 323 so that we could save money with the forthcoming birth of the Younger Daughter. A buddy and I went to lunch a few times per week and he kept chiding me about not having a working radio. One day, he’d had enough and took a look to see if we could fix it. As it turns out, the fuse servicing the radio was simply missing. So, in our infinite wisdom, we randomly removed fuses from other slots until we found one that was “not doing anything”, and placed it in the radio slot. Awesome, now we could listen to some tunes on our drive.

As we were driving back to work on a very hot August afternoon, I noticed that the temperature gauge was rising. I finally had to pull over as it reached critical levels. Opening the hood, I noticed that the radiator hose had burst. Apparently that fuse was doing something after all. Yes, we removed the fuse servicing the radiator fan. Hey, I don’t claim to be a genius all of the time.

1968 Retrospect: New Words

The English language is always evolving. New words are added and others slowly fade away. In 1968, The World Book choose words to be added to the 1969 edition of its dictionary. These words were no doubt in use for several years prior to 1968, but they finally gained common enough acceptance to finally be recognized.

It’s quite a long list, but I have pared it down to the more interesting ones. Below are some that you will certainly recognize, then some that never quite caught on.

Here are some words that you will certainly recognize:

  • arm twister
  • ax grinder
  • beefcake
  • brain-picking
  • character assassination
  • day-tripper
  • diploma mill
  • fertility drug
  • guinea-pig
  • handgun
  • hippie
  • in-joke (now inside joke of course)
  • instant replay
  • meat-and-potatoes
  • Medicaid
  • plain-Jane
  • R and R
  • speed reading
  • trendsetter
  • tween
  • zap

Here are some that apparently didn’t catch on after all. (Warning: a few of these are racial insensitive and rightly no longer used. They are only here as a historical study.)

  • Bob’s your uncle – you know the rest; that’s all there is to it
  • breen – a brown-tinted green color
  • Chinese homer – a home run made on a hit that travels only a short distance
  • daymare – an experience that is like a bad dream
  • GUM – state-operated department store in the Soviet Union
  • nebbish – a drab, clumsly, inconsequential person
  • nudnik – a tiresome, annoying person
  • rice Christian – an Asian or African native who converts to Christianity soley to receive food provided by missionaries
  • roadeo – a contest or exhibition of skill in driving automobiles, trucks, etc.
  • slanguage – slangy language
  • squaw winter – a brief period of prematurely cold weather in early autumn
  • telephonitis – an excessive or abnormal urge to make telephone calls

Get Out of the Friggin Left Lane!

Ok, I ran into like 5 boneheads on the way home this evening that don’t know how to drive on the freeway. Here’s a clue: Use the left lane for passing, then move back to the right lane! I can’t believe how many people impede traffic by hanging out in the left lane for no particular reason. I have just submitted a project to the DITH R&D department. We are going to develop a tactical nuke small enough to take out just a single car. That way, when morons are clogging up the left lane, I can vaporize them!

Bekki, please take note of this. I don’t want to have to take you out.   🙂