Wacky Dream

I don’t typically remember my dreams anymore…or if I do it’s just bits and pieces. However, I vividly remember a very creepy/disturbing/random dream from last night. I think I need someone to interpret this dream. It’s really wacked.

In the dream, I somehow end up in a house where paranormal activities occur. I think I was there with a team of experts like from Ghost Hunters. I don’t recall any specific interaction with the team–just that I was there for purposes of investigation. Well, it seems that I got tired during the evening and laid down on the floor for a nap. As I was falling asleep, my dream (within a dream) cycle was starting up. I was dreaming of something like a blue mist and a creepy buzzing sound started.

This scared me and I woke up from my dream (within a dream). Before I realized what was going on, I was being hoisted up by my left shirt sleeve by some unseen entity. It lifted me all the way up to the ceiling, then gently put me back down on the floor. This happened two more times in immediate succession. The fourth time it lifted me up, something or someone told me or it just occurred to me to lift my left hand, palm facing up. When my hand neared the ceiling, a $50 bill appeared in it. Then the unseen thing gently put me back on the floor. End of dream.

What is up with that? Is that some messed up stuff or what?

Is Facebook Killing My Blog?

Anyone out there still? Helloooo…

About a year-and-a-half ago, I finally found something productive to do with my late-night computer addiction. Yup, that would be this blog. I found it to be a great outlet for my thoughts, for doing some creative and humorous writing, and just sharing cools things with my readers.

That was until a critical mass of friends finally joined Facebook and I finally “got” why it was so (evil but) cool. My blogs stats show it. Just 2 posts in the last month if you count this one. My hit stats actually started declining even before that and I blame it Facebook also.

Once you get on there, they just have so many things to keep you glued to the site, clicking different applications, chatting with friends. These guys are geniuses even if they are also evil.

We’ll see what the future holds. I really hope to get back into more regular posting.

Well, if you’ll excuse me, I’ve got some potatoes to harvest in Farm Town, some drinks to pass out to friends, a good karma request to return…

I Have No Heart

Thanks to John for sharing this one. And I agree with him that this is one of the weirdest quizes I have seen. It’s quite ironic that I’m the liver since I’m currently at war with mine in the airport bar. Holy crap, I just got my bill. $6.59 for a Sam Adams!

 


You Are The Liver


You are a very versatile, adept person. You are able to do many jobs.You seek balance at all times. You are good at adjusting yourself to keep things level.You are able to counteract bad influences. You can neutralize anything toxic.

You are resilient like no one else. You can rebuild yourself completely if you need to.

 

What am I?

I had so much fun with my posts My Needs and My Wants, that I decided to try another one.

Here’s how this one works: Google “[your first name] is” (actually type in the quotes…they are essential) and share the first 10 results. That’s it: it is that simple. But be honest! I’m not going to formally tag anyone, but if you read this consider yourself tagged anyway.

Bryan is…is the bees knees! (well everyone knew that already)

Bryan is…proud that Future Now’s clients, including NBC Universal, GE, WebEx, Overstock and Dell, have consistently enjoyed dramatic improvement in sales using Future Now’s Persuasion Architecture® process (ummm…sure)

Bryan is…playing Russian roulette (I’d rather not, thanks anyway)

Bryan is…the proud father of two and appears to be very happily married to a very lucky WOMAN (very, very true)

Bryan is…a Gemini (no, I’m a Virgo)

Bryan is…playing Russian roulette (stop with that!)

Bryan is…going to be releasing a new single in July! (sweet! I hope it makes lots of money.)

Bryan is…one of the driving forces behind “Memphis” (who knew?)

Bryan is… fan of: Products, Websites, Music, Non-Profits (okay sure, those are all good things)

Bryan is…in your extended network (as I should be)

My Wants

Okay, I couldn’t resist creating a “sister” meme to the previous one I just posted. This one addresses wants instead of needs.

Here’s how it works: Google “[your first name] wants” and share the first 10 results. That’s it: it is that simple. But be honest! I’m not going to formally tag anyone, but if you read this consider yourself tagged anyway.

Bryan wants..Pringles (very, very true…I love them)

Bryan wants..to be teacher (not really, the pay kind of blows and I don’t have the patience)

Bryan wants..Congress (only if I can add “to burn in hell” to the phrase)

Bryan wants..my penis (no, I’ll kindly thank you to keep it to yourself)

Bryan wants..to be an MLG pro (Major League Gaming pro? hmmm…now that would be a fun job)

Bryan wants..to buy you some boots (wrong again…buy your own damn boots you freeloader)

Bryan wants..whisk Amy away (quite true, but The Wife would not take too kindly to it)

Bryan wants..your gas money (so hand it over or I’ll beat you up)

Bryan wants..his “Eleventh Hour” back (actually, I didn’t even know it was gone)

Bryan wants..to Bond with films (okay)

My Needs

This meme is coming at me from several places, but I’ll give John the official nod on it.

Here’s how it works: Google “[your first name] needs” and share the first 10 results. That’s it: it is that simple. But be honest! You’re also supposed to tag 10 other people. I’m not going to formally tag anyone, but if you read this consider yourself tagged anyway.

Bryan needs…a top (ummm nope…already got one thanks)

Bryan needs…money (word)

Bryan needs…a job (got one of those already…guess a second one could be okay)

Bryan needs…help urgently (quick, before I die right here in front of you)

Bryan needs…a title for his homepage (I rather like the one I have, thanks anyway)

Bryan needs…to ink me ASAP (what, now you want me to give you a tattoo?)

Bryan needs…a job (sorry, I draw the limit at 2 jobs)

Bryan needs…survive (yes, I would very much like that)

Bryan needs…a pad (well, I wouldn’t mind a nicer one to be honest, but the economy is tough right now)

Bryan needs…Johnson (sicko)

Arsonist?

I took a quiz a quiz on what felony I would commit. As my frequent readers know, I have some previous experience with accidental (really) fires. They will probably now question if those fires really were accidental. I assure you they were. However, I agree that if I were ever to commit a felony, arson would be my crime of choice. I do love fire, but would never want anyone to get hurt by my fire.


You Are Arson


No doubt about it, you have a serious destructive streak. You can’t help it!

Sometimes you just get so frustrated with the world, and you have to let your aggression outYou have a notoriously bad temper. You are obsessed with getting your revenge.

You are obviously a pyromaniac, whether you realize it or not. It feels great to watch something burn.

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50 Random Things About Me

Thanks to John via Chris for this one.

Here’s a meme with 50 seemingly random questions that I will answer with my expert writing abilities.

  1. What do you add to your coffee? I love the smell of coffee but generally need creamer to withstand the taste. Actually as I age and my taste buds die off, black coffee is starting to work for me.
  2. What are you reading now? I have kids. When do I have time to read? During vacation next week, I plan on reading Who in Hell is Wanda Fuca? by G.M. Ford.
  3. Do you own a gun?  No, two (evil laughter).
  4. Are you registered to vote? Absolutely. If you don’t want to participate in our democracy, shut up if you don’t like what’s going on.
  5. Do you get nervous before doctor appointments? Doctors freak me out. I have to lay down when they draw blood out of fear of passing out.
  6. What do you think of hot dogs? I love them, but don’t ever tell me what’s in them or how they are made. 
  7. Favorite Christmas Song? No contest. Bing Crosby’s White Christmas
  8. What do you prefer to drink in the morning? Diet Mountain Dew
  9. Can you do push ups? I don’t know. It’s better that I not try…I might be embarrased.
  10. What was the name of your first boyfriend/girlfriend? I’m such a freak. My first girlfriend’s name was Lee. And this was in college (laugh amongst yourselves). The kicker is that I turned her into a lesbian. Yes, I was the last guy she dated before switching teams.
  11. What’s your favorite piece of jewelry? My wedding ring is my favorite (and only) jewelry I wear.
  12. Favorite hobby? I have kids. When do I have time for hobbies? I guess the closest thing I have to a hobby is blogging.
  13. Do you work with people who idolize you? (Dies laughing and is unable to answer)
  14. Do you have ADD? I do not believe so.
  15. What’s one trait that you hate about yourself? I’ll answer tomorrow.
  16. What’s your Middle name? Too paranoid to answer. You might track me down.
  17. Name 3 thoughts at this exact moment. How can I find a way to be on vacation permanently? Pizza rules. Beer rules.
  18. Name 3 things you bought yesterday. Gas, t-shirt, dinner at Subway.
  19. Name 3 beverages you regularly drink. Diet Mountain Dew, water, beer.
  20. Current worry right now?  Being successful in my new job.
  21. What side do you dress to? I’m not really sure what this means. Left-right? Gay-straight? I don’t know how to answer.
  22. Favorite place to be? The Oregon Coast
  23. How did you bring in the New Year? I watched New Year’s Rockin’ Eve with the Younger Daughter.
  24. Where would you like to go? Hawaii
  25. Name three people who will complete this. No
  26. Whose answers do you want to read the most? I want everyone to play along. Do it.
  27. What color shirt are you wearing? Dark blue
  28. Do you like sleeping on satin sheets?.  No, I’m not a chick.
  29. Can you whistle?  Yes
  30. Favorite color? Red
  31. Could you be a pirate? Unlikely
  32. What songs do you sing in the shower? Our of respect for my family members, I do not sing in the shower.
  33. Favorite girls name?  Heather
  34. Favorite boy’s name? Jeff
  35. What’s in your pocket right now?  Cell phone, keys, and $0.50
  36. Last thing that made you laugh? I looked in the mirror.
  37. Best bed sheets as a child? Star Wars
  38. Worst injury you’ve ever had? I sprained my ankle so badly when I was a junior in high school that I was on crutches for several day.
  39. Do you love where you live? I like it, but don’t love it.
  40. How many TVs do you have in your house?  5, but only 2 are used regularly.
  41. Who is your loudest friend?  Probably John (sorry John)
  42. How many dogs do you have? Two
  43. Does anyone have a crush on you? Not that I’m aware of.
  44. What are the most fun things you ever did? I don’t know.
  45. What are your favorite books? Refer back to #2.
  46. What is your favorite candy? M&Ms
  47. Favorite Team? Portland Trailblazers
  48. What songs do you want played at your funeral? I don’t want a funeral. Please have a party and laugh about the good times we had.
  49. What were you doing at 12 AM? On the computer when I should have been sleeping.
  50. What was the first thing you thought of when you woke up? Morning comes much to early in the day. Can we start it at about noon?

Live Or Die: Make Your Choice

Okay, this is not quite as serious as the choices in the Saw movies. However, I have come up with some questions. Yes, my very own shiny Meme. I’m sure someone has done something similar, but this particular one is mine all mine. Check out my answers. Then I tag Bekki and Jon to answer also. Everyone else is also welcome to join in the fun.

The rules:

  • There are 2 choices for all questions. Some are mutual exclusive, some are not. Regardless, you can only pick one answer. Pretend I have a gun to your head–pick your favorite of the choices.
  • If you come up with ideas for other questions, add them to you post and tag the originator to update their post with the new question(s).
  • Tag some friends to join in the madness.

Paper or plastic? Plastic since it makes it easy to carry tons of groceries with 2 hands. Paper only when I need some paper bags.

Sock-sock shoe-shoe or sock-shoe sock-shoe? Sock-sock, shoe-shoe

Ginger or Mary Ann (guys), Professor or Gilligan (gals)? Definitely Mary Ann. I prefer the natural look to the 27 pounds of make-up look.

Chunky or smooth peanut butter? Chunky

Dogs or cats? It has been well documented that I have a nearly disturbing affinity for cats.

Leno or Letterman? I like Leno more in general. I liked Letterman when he was at NBC, but for some reason he doesn’t seem to be as funny after moving to CBS.

Car or truck? Car

PC or Mac? PC…I am a Microsoft/Intel drone.

Regular or diet pop? Diet. I order a diet Coke to offset the double cheeseburger and fries that I am ordering.

Left-handed or right? Right. Right is right, right?

Coke or Pepsi? Coke all the way.

My Soul Mate

Sorry honey, but according to this highly scientific quiz, my soul mate is Cameron Diaz. I made a “till death do us part” promise and I’ll keep it. But just thought you might like to know.

Take this test!

There’s always funny stuff going on in the script when you’re on the set. Whether you’re pranking your crew, telling a funny joke, or injecting an element of the absurd into a situation, you’ve got a way with making people laugh. It’s only fitting that your celeb soul mate is someone who’s silly and quirky, too!

A celeb who’s good looking and good at enjoying life like Cameron Diaz is just right for the role. No matter if you’re playing mini golf or shopping at the mall, you’ve both got the comic talents to have loads of hilarious hijinks wherever you go. And if your celeb soul mate is on location in some foreign country, someone who’s funny and closer to home would be perfect for the job. And that’s no joke!

The Next Environmental Catastrophe

Everyone is all worried about global warming, pollution, and overflowing landfills. However, what we really need to worry about is the air trapped in plastic bottles. Yup, that’s right. After enjoying the contents of the bottle, most people seal the cap back on and with it a bottle full of air. Different sources indicate that it takes hundreds or even thousands of year for a plastic bottle. Eventually all the air in the world is going to be trapped in bottles in the landfill and we’re all going to suffocate. So please save the planet…don’t put that lid back on the bottle before disposing of it.

These are the types of strange things that occupy my mind.

Get to Know Me Better

Rick tagged me on this meme. Thanks man. Let’s get ‘er done.

The rules are:

1. The rules of the game get posted at the beginning.
2. Each player answers the questions about themselves.
3. At the end of the post, the player then tags 5-6 people and posts their names, then goes to their blogs and leaves them a comment, letting them know they’ve been tagged and asking them to read your blog.
4. Let the person who tagged you know when you’ve posted your answer.

1) What was I doing 10 yrs ago?

10 years ago the Older Daughter was 5 and the Younger Daughter was just 5 months old. I remember attending the Older Daughter’s dance recital that year–very cute. We were just settling into our previous house. I also started a custom software development business with a buddy–it didn’t work out.

2) What are 5 things on my to-do list for today (not in any particular order):

  1. Post to my blog (check)
  2. Get some laundry done (in progress)
  3. Check on the status of a job application (check–no answer yet…grrr)
  4. Do some more work on our business website (probably not going to happen)
  5. Blog surfing (check)

3) Snacks I enjoy:

  • Cheez-Its
  • soybeans
  • beef jerkey
  • popcorn

4) Things I would do if I were a billionaire:

  • Build a nice new house on our ranch
  • Buy a monster motor home and travel
  • Do charity work

5) Three of my bad habits:

  1. Staying up too late
  2. Procrastinating
  3. Not eating right

6) 5 places I have lived:

  1. Lebanon, Oregon
  2. Ontario, Oregon
  3. Cheney, Washington
  4. Boise, Idaho
  5. Caldwell, Idaho

7) 5 jobs I have had:

  1. Petroleum Transfer Technician (some people call it a Service Station Attendant)
  2. Clerk-Typist
  3. Computer Lab Consultant
  4. Software Engineer
  5. Database Administrator

8 ) 5 peeps I wanna know more about:

  1. Bekki
  2. Jon
  3. Bonnie
  4. Allison
  5. smysore

8 Things About Me I’m Pretty Sure You Don’t Care About

Okay, my posting rate has been a little slow over the last few days. So I’m lifting a meme from John to get things moving along again. With this meme, you basically tell 8 facts about yourself and then tag someone else. I’m not going to officially tag anyone, but be a good sport and play along okay?

1. Both of my grandpas were named after famous people: Jesse James and Benjamin Franklin. Unfortunately, I never had the pleasure meeting either one (neither the grandpas nor the actual famous people).

2. I have ridden in the back of a police car and briefly checked out the county jail. You see, back in junior high, we had a zero-tolerance policy for fighting. If you were caught, you automatically got to ride to the county jail–about 13 miles away. They scared the hell out of you by showing you some cells, then your parents got to come pick you up. The fight was so minor that it was not worth it. No charges were filed. In retrospect, I should have drawn some blood or something for all the trouble of having my parents pick me up from jail.

3. Several years back, I was a good sport and took Irish dance lessons with the Younger Daughter. For the record, she grew bored of it and decided to quit–not me.

4. My biggest traffic pet peeve: Not using your turn signal. In an earlier post, I threatened to develop a tactical nuke capable of taking out a car. I would definitely use this on those who can’t be bothered with such formalities as signalling turns.

5. I am a sucker for cats. I could easily be one of those freaks that has like 47 cats. I hope this doesn’t threaten my Man Club membership.

6. In junior high, I once told a counselor that my goal was to be an NBA basketball player. For some weird reason, he thought I should have a backup plan, but I didn’t think so. For the record, I never even tried out for basketball. Oh yeah, and I’m 5’9″. Thankfully, I did come up with a backup plan.

7. I was so painfully shy in my younger years, that I never attended a single dance–not even the big ones: homecoming, prom, etc. That’s probably my single biggest regret from my youth.

8. Many years ago now, John and I decided at around 3pm to drive from Portland, Oregon, to Vancouver, B.C…for no particular reason. And we just turned around and drove right back after grabbing some fuel and snacks in Vancouver. A 12-hour round-trip if I remember correctly. Crazy. And one of my fondest memories.

Which Celebrities Do I Look Like?

I recently ran across a website called MyHeritage. They allow you to create a family tree with photos. They also have facial recognition software. This can help you find lost relatives (by comparing your pictures with those uploaded by others), find out which relative you child looks most like, etc.

They also have some fun, free services. One of these allows you to upload your photo and it will generate the 8 celebrities you look the most like. You can see my result below.

Yes guys, it’s a cross I bear. I know that I look just like George Clooney. Hardly a day goes by that people don’t mistake me for him.

Okay, homework time. John and Bekki, which celebrities do you look most like?

Friday, February 22, 2008: The End of the World?

This has been a really freaky week with “natural” events in the west. Let’s take a look at what has happened so far:

At this rate, I fully expect tomorrow to be the end of the world.

Foot in Mouth Disease

I have definitely said a few things that I regretted almost immediately–foot in the mouth moments I guess. Thankfully, I believe the number and severity of such incidents has declined exponentially over the years. This is borne out by the fact that the two worst ones (and they are really bad) occurred over 20 years ago when I was a senior in high school.

This guy sitting behind my in health class was a complete jerk. Constant rude, obnoxious comments–just wouldn’t shut up. Very annoying. One day, I turned around and said to him: “You are the most annoying person I know. I bet your family wants to kill themselves.” Yeah…turns out his brother had committed suicide the previous year. I just didn’t know him that well and didn’t make the connection with the last name.

Our band took a fleet of school buses down to Disneyland during my senior year (I guess airplanes had not been invented yet). Somehow I ended up on the wrong bus. I was stuck for 24 hours on a yellow school bus with the bus driver from the very bowels of hell. If you look up grouchy in the dictionary, you’ll see her picture. Go ahead and check…I’ll wait. Finally, I couldn’t keep it inside anymore. I looked over to the girl in the next seat and said: “Oh, I hate our bus driver. She is so rude.” Yeah…as luck would have it, I was talking to the bus driver’s daughter.

Uplifting Thought for the Day

Always keep this in mind: every day is better than the next.  🙂

Dad in the Headlights: Now a Domain

I decided to purchase the domain www.dadintheheadlights.com just in case I ever want to host the blog myself or do something else with it. Right now it will just redirect you to my blog hosted here at WordPress. I know: la de freakin da.

Jeffrey Dahmer in Training?

I was talking with someone with whom I’m just barely acquainted a few days ago. Somehow, we ended up on the topic of a pet dying. He mentioned that his poodle died several years back and that he didn’t want to bury it where he was living at the time. So he put the poodle in the freezer to preserve it until he moved! I was deeply disturbed and felt like I should take a shower after our conversation. What is he, a Jeffrey Dahmer in training?

First off freak-boy, don’t put your dog in the freezer.  Second, if you’re not going to abide by my first request, please don’t tell me about it!

Hangin’ Tough?

Thanks to John for this one.

I had to check the calendar on this story. I was sure it had to be April 1st and someone was pulling my leg. Unfortunately, it’s not April Fool’s Day. So now, reason #159 that this country is doomed: The New Kids on the Block are reuniting. According to the People article:

“Eighteen years later, they’re still “Hangin’ Tough.” The oldest “Kid,” Jonathan Knight, now a real estate developer, will turn 40 later this year. Since the band’s demise, former members Donnie Wahlberg, 38, and Joey McIntyre, 35, have seen acting success, while Danny Wood, 38, has worked as a music producer and Knight’s brother, Jordan, 37, has continued to record.”

A side note: For truth in advertising, shouldn’t they change their name to “Middle Age Guys in the Suburbs”? 

My best friend’s sister was a complete NKOTB freak. Her room was a shrine to the band. I think that she had every single promotional item available. I never got it…probably because I’m a guy.

Ok, so my guilty pleasure during my high school/early college years was Debbie Gibson. Yes, that’s right. Go ahead and laugh for awhile. Then resume reading…I’ll wait. I had all of her tapes (I can hear my kids asking: Dad, what are cassette tapes?), a VHS tape of a concert, and I even attended a concert in Tri-Cities, Washington. But that was it…I didn’t do the shrine thing…no posters or any of that stuff.

Anyway, I need to run. I need to see if Debbie Gibson is planning a comeback.

So tell me, what is your most embarrassing favorite singer/group from your younger days?