Punday: February 14

What kind of milk does a forgetful cow produce? Milk of amnesia.

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Punday, December 13th

I wondered why the baseball was getting bigger. Then it hit me.

Punday: Mid-week Groaner

I normally post my Punday special on Sunday. But since I have done so few lately, I decided not to wait on this one…

Next time I play golf, I am going to take an extra sock with me. That way I can use it if I get a hole in one.

Punday, September 20th

What do you need to do if you are infected with the bird flu? Seek tweetment.

What do you need to do if you are infected with the swine flu? Apply oinkment.

Punday, July 26th

If it’s not a father and it’s not a mother, what is it? It’s not apparent.

Punday, July 19th

A man decided to join a ride-sharing program with his colleagues at work to save money. But within a week of starting it, he started having severe wrist pain. This seemed to happen only while they were driving through the tunnel–he was fine outside the tunnel. Because the tunnel was so busy, they spent quite a bit of time in there. So it was quite a painful experience for the young man. He saw a doctor the following week and was told he had a problem that is quite common nowadays: carpool tunnel syndrome.

Punday, June 28th

We have a dairy farm close to us. The cows are udderly amazing.

Punday, June 21st

What’s my favorite dressing you ask? Topless

 

Thanks to my friend Todd for this one.

Punday, April 26th

Hey look! A fork in the road.

fork

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Punday, April 19th

An invisible man marries an invisible woman. The kids were nothing to look at either.

Mid-week Groaner

To my loyal readers…here is a thimble of my love for you.

thimble_large1

Punday, April 12th

Hoppy Easter to all my peeps!

Punday, April 5th

I was recently at a construction site where they were doing some blasting. I almost forgot to put in my earplugs before a blast. Thankfully, I got them in just in the nick of time. It was a near-deaf experience.

Punday, March 22nd

Shotgun wedding: A case of wife or death.

Punday, March 8th

I used to be a baker, but I didn’t make enough dough.

Punday, March 1st

Did you hear about the Buddhist who refused Novocain during a root canal? He wanted to transcend dental medication.

Punday, February 22nd

What does a honeybee call its hive? Comb, sweet home.

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Punday, February 15th

A man told ten horrible pun jokes to his friends, but none of them made the friends laugh. No pun in ten did.

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Punday, February 8th

What safety features do medicine bottles in Florida have? They have Tampa-proof caps.

Punday, February 1st

We have a traveler trailer. It goes where it’s towed.