Wacky Dream

I don’t typically remember my dreams anymore…or if I do it’s just bits and pieces. However, I vividly remember a very creepy/disturbing/random dream from last night. I think I need someone to interpret this dream. It’s really wacked.

In the dream, I somehow end up in a house where paranormal activities occur. I think I was there with a team of experts like from Ghost Hunters. I don’t recall any specific interaction with the team–just that I was there for purposes of investigation. Well, it seems that I got tired during the evening and laid down on the floor for a nap. As I was falling asleep, my dream (within a dream) cycle was starting up. I was dreaming of something like a blue mist and a creepy buzzing sound started.

This scared me and I woke up from my dream (within a dream). Before I realized what was going on, I was being hoisted up by my left shirt sleeve by some unseen entity. It lifted me all the way up to the ceiling, then gently put me back down on the floor. This happened two more times in immediate succession. The fourth time it lifted me up, something or someone told me or it just occurred to me to lift my left hand, palm facing up. When my hand neared the ceiling, a $50 bill appeared in it. Then the unseen thing gently put me back on the floor. End of dream.

What is up with that? Is that some messed up stuff or what?

Hitting the Reset Button

We’ve done a lot of cleaning, purging, and rearranging of “stuff” around the house the past couple of weeks. For many reasons, this seems very appropriate now. Given the way things have gone in this country the last few years and a lot of things in my life in the last year, it’s time for a reset. Part of this is simplifying life and getting rid of stuff that is really not needed.

Last weekend, we tackled the office. It was a disaster. There were boxes and boxes of paperwork that I spent hours reviewing and either tossing or organizing into files. There were also many boxes of things that got the same treatment. When we were done, it was very satisfying to have accomplished something. However, I was surprised that there were some sad moments along the way. Why? Well, several things really. Other than precious keepsakes now packed away, all evidence that we ever had small children has been removed. No more toys, kids books, crayons, or Barbie dolls. I get it…kids grow up and you can’t keep the place looking like Romper Room forever. It just makes me sad sometimes that fun of those young childhood years is in the past. We also ran across things that reminded us of beloved pets and family member that are no longer with us.

Overall, it was a good thing. The office got cleaned up, we got rid of unneeded clutter, and we can now actually find paperwork when we need it. Along the way, we got the chance to refresh some memories and reflect on some good times in the past. Now it’s time to treasure and do the best we can with today and build for a better tomorrow.

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Everything Happens for a Reason

Most of you are familiar with the Byrds song Turn! Turn! Turn! adapted from the Book of Ecclesiastes. In particular the start of the song: “To everything (turn, turn, turn), there is a season (turn, turn, turn), and a time to every purpose under heaven.”

As the time rolls on, I become more and more convinced that everything…both good and bad…happens for a reason. The reason may not be apparent to us immediately. But there is a reason. A couple of examples:

I was laid off from two jobs within 14 months. I enjoyed both jobs and did not want to leave. But economic realities forced the companies to downsize. However, now I am in a position that I enjoy much more than the previous two. It was only a series of two layoffs that lead me down a winding road to my current job.

I heard of a more dramatic example of this recently. I young man was diagnosed with brain cancer. He needed costly surgery, so a small community pulled together to organize a fundraiser to help pay for the surgery. Part of the event involved people asking for sponsorship to get their heads shaved in solidarity for this young man who would also have his head shaved. A couple of weeks later, a lady who had her head shaved was diagnosed with skin cancer–on her head! Since it was caught early, hopefully her prognosis is good. Without her head being shaved, the cancer would likely have grown for months or years and likely spread.

Things are tough with a lot of people right now. Just try to keep in mind that even the bad things happen for a reason. We may not know why immediately, maybe not for week or months, maybe even never. But there is a reason. We just have to make the best of the hand we are dealt, and learn and grow from it.

Happy 2nd Blogosversary to Me

The 2nd anniversary of this blog came and went without fanfare on November 30th. I guess that shouldn’t be surprising since my posting has been very sparse this year. I blame this on two things: Facebook and a tough year of life in general.

Yes, this year, after a critical mass of friends finally joined, I became addicted to Facebook and all of the time-sucking games that go along with it. I have finally gotten myself dialed back to just playing Mafia Wars. But that still takes up more time than it should.

Life. What can I say. This year has royally sucked overall. I dealt with a period of unemployment and a multitude of other setbacks–most of which I can’t go into in such a public forum. Let’s just say that on midnight of January 1, 2010, it will be more accurate to say that I’m celebrating the end of 2009 than the beginning of 2010. I take that back. Life has its ups and downs. The downs are a time to reset and build a better future. So I am looking forward to 2010 and making the best of lessons learned in 2009 and my (mumble) years of life prior to that.

If I still have any followers, thanks for still being here. I want to strive to post regularly again. As always, I hope that my posts may make you laugh, make you think, inform you, or just make you think “what’s wrong with this guy?”

Bring on year 3!

Man in the Mirror

The dreaded song demons are at it again. With the death of Michael Jackson, I have been listening to some of his songs the last few days. Man in the Mirror really speaks to the journey I started a couple of weeks ago. Yes, any change I want to make must start with me.

For the record, I love his music–particularly 80s and early 90s. I just want to enjoy his music for what it is. I refuse to watch the tabloid stuff about the problems in his life and ultimately his death.

Enjoy…

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pbzMsIcp6fI

A Shiny, New Bryan

For my regular readers (was kind of surprised that there were any left given how little I have posted lately), you have probably been wondering what’s going on. First off, my posting has dropped to almost nil. Then I posted 3 relatively profound songs and vague details on something percolating in my life. I have always been a very private person by nature (so I have a blog why again?), but I do want to provide a thumbnail sketch of what is going on.

Several week ago, I had what I like to call an awakening. It was a realization that I was not the person that I want to be and deciding that now is the time to make the changes I want to transition to the person that I do want to be. Mid-life crises, maybe; becoming the person I want to be, absolutely.

Don’t panic too much. We’re not talking about radical changes–at least from an outward standpoint. You might not have even noticed any real changes if I didn’t talk about them in my blog. I’m not going to get 12 tattoos (hmmm, 1? maybe), not going to start skydiving (hmmm once? maybe), not going to buy sports car or a motorcycle, no torrid affairs.

So here are some of the things I want the new me to be:

  • Self-confident
  • Comfortable with myself
  • Not willing to always put myself last–and not feel guilty
  • Accepting of compliments without feeling unworthy or guilty
  • Accepting of help without feeling unworthy or guilty
  • Willing to try new things
  • Willing to be out of my comfort zone

Basically, I will no longer to be the painfully shy, angst-filled person that I have been since I was a teenager–if not earlier.

I also want to care more about those around me. With my family and friends, I want to speak kinder, be more patient, be more loving, compliment more often, and show how very much I care for and love them. For the next circle of people I interact with, anywhere from co-workers to the convenience store clerk, I want to always give a smile and genuinely take an interest in their lives.

Really, most of these changes are internal in how I look at myself and how I choose to interact with others in a more positive way. I have already started transitioning to the new me (1 week and counting) and I seriously already “feel” it. I am happier, more relaxed, more confident, and feel more control of my life than perhaps ever.

Well, I think that’s quite enough for now. If you made it this far, congratulations!

Cool Car on I-84

I think I smell a new regular feature to get me posting regularly again. Maybe I’ll entitle it “Seen on I-84” or something like that.

Anyway, this is a picture of a cool old car that I took while driving riding on I-84 at the Flying Wye interchange. However, I really need to get a phone with a better camera if this is to be a new feature.

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