Punday: February 14

What kind of milk does a forgetful cow produce? Milk of amnesia.

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In-Depth Analysis of Super Bowl XLIV

Well, Super Bowl is just hours away and I as am excited about this year’s game as ever. It promises to be a thrilling classic match-up between…uhhh…hold on just a second while I Google that. Okay, looks like it’s going to be the New Orleans Saints against the Indianapolis Colts.

Okay, you got me. I am not a pro football fan. Not in the least. During the regular season, I’ll watch for a little while since it seems to be something I’m supposed to do as a man. But after not too long, I’m looking for something to read or something else to do while The Wife watches the game (messed up, huh?). Now I know that this post will be submitted as prosecutor’s exhibit #1 when the Man Club takes me to court to revoke my membership, but I just don’t care.

Super Bowl is a different story, but it’s not about the game itself. Every year, we get together with several other families and make a day of it. There’s always lots of food, fun, and laughs. As for the game, I’m all about the commercials. As we all know, the advertisers turn it up a notch and really try to entertain us to keep our eyes glued on what they are trying to sell us. We get to find out which sappy Budweiser horse commercial will make The Wife cry; how close GoDaddy will go to the edge of FCC regulations; and see the creative jabs that Coke and Pepsi take at each other. Of course there are always a handful that make you ask: “They spent $3 million for that?”

You’ll catch me nodding off in complete boredom during actual game play, so I just ask that the others wake me up for the commercials and maybe the half-time show. I’m going to see if I can con the clan into TiVo-ing the game. Then we’ll start watching about 2 hours into the actual game and (pause for genius moment) fast forward through the game to see only the commercials! I love it! That’s what needs to happen to create a completely perfect Super Bowl event–at least from my standpoint.

Punday, December 13th

I wondered why the baseball was getting bigger. Then it hit me.

Punday, September 20th

What do you need to do if you are infected with the bird flu? Seek tweetment.

What do you need to do if you are infected with the swine flu? Apply oinkment.

Punday, July 26th

If it’s not a father and it’s not a mother, what is it? It’s not apparent.

Punday, July 19th

A man decided to join a ride-sharing program with his colleagues at work to save money. But within a week of starting it, he started having severe wrist pain. This seemed to happen only while they were driving through the tunnel–he was fine outside the tunnel. Because the tunnel was so busy, they spent quite a bit of time in there. So it was quite a painful experience for the young man. He saw a doctor the following week and was told he had a problem that is quite common nowadays: carpool tunnel syndrome.

Do Not Despair

Don’t you just hate those stupid motivational posters? As if looking at some profound picture and reading an even more profound phrase is going to turn your day around. That’s why I love Despair, Inc.’s demotivational posters. I was looking through them today and found one for blogging. I love it!

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