New Year’s Eve Review

Okay, I’m a few days late on this, but we left town early New Year’s Day and I didn’t have time to post until now.

It ended up being a quiet evening at home with just the Younger Daughter and me. We watched several episodes of the X-Files on DVD and had some snacks (since we didn’t eat nearly enough on Thanksgiving and Christmas) as we waited for the big moment.

We tuned into Dick Clark’s New Year’s Rockin’ Eve with Ryan Seacrest. I have enjoyed the show every since I can remember. However, it’s starting to get on my nerves for a couple of reasons.

Ok, let me get this out of the way first. A quick shout out to Dick Clark: enough is enough. Please, please, please fade into the sunset. Don’t get me wrong, I’m a big fan of his. I have enjoyed almost all of his ventures throughout the years: American Bandstand, the $100,000 Pyramid, TV Bloopers and Practical Jokes, etc. He is a truly legendary host.

I was very moved when he came back that first year. I admired his strength and courage in working and fighting to make it back on the show just over a year after his stroke. However, it’s now just sad to see what sounds and looks like death on a stick each year.

I realize that it is likely very frustrating to him. I think that he is all there mentally, but he is trapped in a broken body. But please pass the baton to Ryan Seacrest once and for all and leave us with the memories of that young, vibrant 74-year-old that hosted the show for New Year’s 2004.

Next up: Kelli Pickler. She was the reporter on the street mingling and talking with the crowd. What the heck is up with this chick? I have heard some of her music and can take it or leave it. This was the first time I had seen her outside of a musical setting. Holy cow, this girl needs a sedative. I’ve never seen anyone so constantly bubbly in my life. I really believe that if she cut herself, she would bleed syrup and honey.

The music was okay…nothing spectacular. Taylor Swift put on a pretty good performance and even bared her arms in the 1-degree windchill weather. The Pussycat Dolls…I think they sang…but mostly provided some very nice eye candy. Lionel Richie…hmmm…maybe another one that should fade into the sunset. He performed an unimpressive medley of his 80s hits. Again, I would rather have remembered what I heard and saw back then. It was at least tolerable. Then there was the Jonas Brothers. My ears are just now recovering from the ear-piercing scream of the Younger Daughter when they were announced. ‘Nuff said.

Happy New Year!

Reasons I’m Smiling Today

You know, there are lots of things going on in the world, the country, and even personally that I could fret about. However, I’m finding lots of things to smile about. I’d rather focus on those. Here they are, in no particular order.

  • It’s Friday! That’s always a good reason to be happy.
  • The Broncos are ranked #9 nationally and poised to be invited to a BCS bowl game. Tomorrow, they will kick some Vandal butt.
  • We are entering my favorite time of the year with Thanksgiving and Christmas coming up. It’s always an opportunity to spend cherished time with family and friends, and enjoy good food and good times. More importantly, it’s a time to renew and reflect on the things that are truly important.
  • In just 3 short days, the Older Daughter will be getting her driver’s license. While this generates lots of mixed feelings with me, I’m very proud and excited for her.
  • I have a job that I love. Just 5 short months ago I was facing a layoff in a really tough job market. I was fortunate enough to find a new job and have no time out of work. The fact that I absolutely love the job is a big plus also.
  • I have the best family and friends in the world. They are more loving and supportive of me than I feel that I deserve at times.
  • Blogging rules! DITH is nearing its one year anniversary (just a few short shopping weeks left folks). I am having a great time and have made some great new friends along the way.
  • Did I mention it’s Friday? Have a good weekend!

Idaho Special Edition Barbie Dolls

You may recall a previous post in which we announced that Mattel was making special edition Barbies for Oregon. Just in time for Christmas, we are now pleased to announce the release of limited-edition Barbie Dolls for the Idaho market.

Nampa Barbie

She comes with an assortment of Kate Spade Handbags, a Lexus SUV, a long-haired foreign dog named Honey and a million dollar farm home. Available with or without tummy tuck and face lift. Workaholic Ken sold only in conjunction with the augmented version.

Melba Barbie


The modern day homemaker Barbie is available with Ford Wind star Minivan and matching feedstore outfit. She gets lost easily and has no full-time occupation. Traffic jamming cell phone sold separately for traveling.

Garden City Barbie

This recently paroled Barbie comes with a 9mm handgun, a Ray Lewis knife, a Chevy with dark tinted windows, and a meth Lab Kit. This model is only available after dark and must be paid for in cash (preferably small, untraceable bills) unless you are a cop, then we don’t know what you are talking about.

Boise Barbie

This yuppie Barbie comes with your choice of BMW convertible or Hummer H2. Included are her own Starbucks cup, credit card and country club membership. Also available for this set are Shallow Ken and Private School Skipper. You won’t be able to afford any of them.

Challis Barbie

This pale model comes dressed in her own Wrangler jeans two sizes too small, a NASCAR t-shirt, tweety bird tattoo on her shoulder and no teeth. She has a six-pack of Bud light and a Hank Williams Jr. CD set. She can spit over 5 feet and kick mullet-haired Ken’s butt when she is drunk. Purchase her pickup truck separately and get a confederate flag bumper sticker absolutely free.

Sun Valley Barbie


This collagen injected, rhino plastic Barbie wears a leopard print outfit and drinks cosmopolitans while entertaining friends. Percocet prescription available as well as newly built high rise condo.

Buhl Barbie


This tobacco-chewing, brassy-haired Barbie has a pair of her own high-heeled sandals with one broken heel from the time she chased beer-gutted Ken out of Jerome Barbie’s house. Her ensemble includes low-rise acid-washed jeans, fake fingernails, and a see-through halter-top. Also available with a mobile home.

Jerome Barbie


This doll is made of actual tofu. She has long straight brown hair, arch-less feet, hairy armpits, no makeup and Birkenstocks with white socks. She prefers that you call her Willow. She does not want or need a Ken doll, but if you purchase two Twin Falls Barbies and the optional Subaru wagon, you get a rainbow flag bumper sticker for free.

Kuna Barbie


This Barbie now comes with a stroller and 2 infant dolls. Optional accessories include a GED and bus pass. White boy Gangsta Ken and his 1979 Caddy were available, but are now very difficult to find since the addition of the infant.

Idaho Falls Barbie


She’s perfect in every way, mainly due to the high levels of antidepressants in her system. We don’t know where Ken is because he’s always at church meetings.

 

Also don’t miss Oregon Special Edition Barbie Dolls.

Punday, May 4th

If I had a daughter born to me on Christmas day, I’d name her Mary Chris Smith.

Christmas Music

The Christmas season is a time of rich traditions. Music plays a big role in making it a special time of year. Certain songs can take you back in time and can evoke emotions. For instance, hearing Gene Autry or Alvin and the Chipmunks takes me back to childhood because we used to listen to their albums every Christmas; a particularly beautiful rendition of O Holy Night or Silent Night can actually get me a little misty (please don’t revoke my Man Club Membership).

In general, I prefer the more “traditional” renditions of Christmas songs. Having said that, I find Mannheim Steamroller’s unique arrangements (“18th century classical rock”) to be particularly soothing and uplifting to the soul. I also enjoy the parody hack jobs done by Bob Rivers.

However, in thinking about Christmas music, I realized that the rendition of a handful of songs by particular artists really epitomizes Christmas. That is, they have really become woven into the fabric that makes the season special. I’m not a big fan of federal mandates, but I’d almost be willing to support a federal law banning any further releases of these songs by other artists. So below is my list of songs that I think should be retired, because no one can possible do a better job than the artist listed.

  • White Christmas – Bing Crosby
  • The Most Wonderful Time Of The Year – Johnny Mathis
  • Nat King Cole – The Christmas Song (Merry Christmas To You)
  • Rockin’ Around The Christmas Tree – Brenda Lee
  • A Holly Jolly Christmas – Burl Ives
  • Rudolph, The Red-Nosed Reindeer – Gene Autry
  • Santa Claus Is Comin’ To Town – Gene Autry

There are a few more songs that I think probably should be retired, but I’m not quite ready to lock them in. So the songs below are candidates for retirement in the future:

  • Blue Christmas – Elvis Presley
  • Let It Snow! Let It Snow! Let It Snow! – Dean Martin
  • Winter Wonderland – Tony Bennett
  • Jingle Bell Rock – Bobby Helms

Christmas Wish List For The United States

We’ve got a lot of problems in our country today and it doesn’t seem like the politicians are paying any attention to the real issues. So with Christmas coming up, I’d like to give Santa my wish list for our country. Maybe he can do what the politicians won’t.

Build the border fence

This is such a no brainer that I don’t see why it’s not getting done. Illegal immigration is going to destroy this country if we don’t stop it. It’s draining our resources in terms of additional strain on social programs as well as exporting billions of dollars that are sent to Mexico. More importantly, we risk that terrorists are going to cross into the country from either Mexico or Canada and instigate an attack that will make 9/11 look like a day in the park.

Fix Social Security

The Social Security system is on a course for disaster. Everyone knows it, but it seems that we can’t get our politicians to do address it. If we don’t do anything, we’re going to end up with drastically lower benefits for retirees, sharply higher taxes for workers, or crushing debt for our children and grandchildren. In all likelihood, it will be a combination of all 3 of these things. It’s time to move toward privatizing the system while guaranteeing that current retirees and those nearing retirement get the benefits we have promised them. I have been in the workforce for almost 17 years and I would be happy to opt out of Social Security right now and redirect future withholdings to my 401k plan.

Lower the corporate income tax

The United States has the highest corporate income tax rate in the world. This is one of many reasons that jobs are being shipped overseas. A sharply lower tax rate would help slow, or maybe even reverse, this trend.

Eliminate the personal income tax

The current tax system is incredibly costly and onerous to comply with–not to mention that it is profoundly unfair. We need to scrap the current income tax system in favor of a national sales tax. With a sales tax, you would get your entire paycheck. From that point on, you determine how much tax you pay: The more you spend, the more tax you pay. If you choose to save your money, it would grow tax free.

So there you have it Santa. Can you give us a hand? There are plenty of other issues, but take care of these first while I work on compiling the rest of the list.