For my regular readers (was kind of surprised that there were any left given how little I have posted lately), you have probably been wondering what’s going on. First off, my posting has dropped to almost nil. Then I posted 3 relatively profound songs and vague details on something percolating in my life. I have always been a very private person by nature (so I have a blog why again?), but I do want to provide a thumbnail sketch of what is going on.
Several week ago, I had what I like to call an awakening. It was a realization that I was not the person that I want to be and deciding that now is the time to make the changes I want to transition to the person that I do want to be. Mid-life crises, maybe; becoming the person I want to be, absolutely.
Don’t panic too much. We’re not talking about radical changes–at least from an outward standpoint. You might not have even noticed any real changes if I didn’t talk about them in my blog. I’m not going to get 12 tattoos (hmmm, 1? maybe), not going to start skydiving (hmmm once? maybe), not going to buy sports car or a motorcycle, no torrid affairs.
So here are some of the things I want the new me to be:
- Comfortable with myself
- Not willing to always put myself last–and not feel guilty
- Accepting of compliments without feeling unworthy or guilty
- Accepting of help without feeling unworthy or guilty
- Willing to try new things
- Willing to be out of my comfort zone
Basically, I will no longer to be the painfully shy, angst-filled person that I have been since I was a teenager–if not earlier.
I also want to care more about those around me. With my family and friends, I want to speak kinder, be more patient, be more loving, compliment more often, and show how very much I care for and love them. For the next circle of people I interact with, anywhere from co-workers to the convenience store clerk, I want to always give a smile and genuinely take an interest in their lives.
Really, most of these changes are internal in how I look at myself and how I choose to interact with others in a more positive way. I have already started transitioning to the new me (1 week and counting) and I seriously already “feel” it. I am happier, more relaxed, more confident, and feel more control of my life than perhaps ever.
Well, I think that’s quite enough for now. If you made it this far, congratulations!