Girl Scout Cookies = Pure Evil

Yes, it’s that time of year again. The time when impossibly cute kids lurk in the shadows only to spring out and hit us up to buy those darn Girl Scout cookies. They are addictive and wildly over-priced, but we buy them anyway. We have to. We just can’t say no to those faces. It’s a good thing too. What you don’t know is that if you don’t buy the cookies, these cute kids will quickly turn evil and do unspeakable harm to you when you least expect it.

So here they sit on my desk: a box of Samoas and a box of Thin Mints. The boxes remain unopened. This is because they are so good, that if open the box, I will eat every last one of them in one sitting. I can hear the cookies calling for me. Evil things. I don’t know how much longer I can hold out. Pure evil.

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8 Responses to “Girl Scout Cookies = Pure Evil”

  1. Ram Venkatararam Says:

    If you are truly hearing the cookies speak to you I need you to consider the following:

    1) Are they speaking with German or Eastern European accents?
    2) Do the cookies laugh at or mock you?
    3) Are the cookie voices accompanied by an eerie soundtrack?

    If you answered yes to any of these, the girlscouts aren’t the ones about to turn evil and do unspeakable harm. Get help….now.

  2. thelakattack Says:

    Not only that, they’re starting to put thinner cookies in there too… to cut costs. Bastards.

  3. Bryan Says:

    Ram, only #2 is true. 🙂

  4. Jodi Says:

    Yum, samoas…

    I can’t wait to get mine. Once about 15 years ago, I was working at Fish and Game and one of my co-workers kids was my pusher. I bought 15 boxes and ate every last cookie within 2 weeks. LOVE THEM!

  5. Bryan Says:

    Jodi: A box a day for 2 weeks…now THAT’S impressive!

  6. Jodi Says:

    I actually got mine last night – is it wrong, wrong, wrong for me to hide them and keep them all to myself…

    After all, they DO just come once a year. 3 samoas and 1 thin mint. I actually got those for my husband, but I’m thinking he probably doesn’t want them…

  7. nectarfizz Says:

    damn that tasty goodness!! I feel your pain!

  8. bickford7 Says:

    Yep, you don’t want to find out what happens if you say no. I have recurrent nightmares in which I turn over to see one of the uniformed imps sitting on my pillow at 2 am. Her eyes glow red and she continues to ask why I won’t buy her cookies. Then, her Mom shows up…..


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