Concert Rants

Several nights ago, the whole family took The Wife to the Reba McEntire and Kelly Clarkson concert at Taco Bell Arena. This was to celebrate her (mumble)th birthday. It was a great concert. We’ve have been Reba fans for years and Kelly Clarkson is also quite a talented performer.

However, attending this concert reminded me of some of the things that really bother me about the whole concert experience. Mostly, I’m reminded that people suck. Anyway, here are a few of the things that bug the heck out of me:

  • Okay, does the security check really accomplish anything other than slowing me down, driving ticket prices higher, and giving the ignorant a false sense of security? The Wife had to open up her bag, but the revolver I had in my jacket pocket went completely unnoticed. (No, I didn’t really have a weapon. But I would have gotten through with no problem with one.)
  • What’s with these people that have to leave their seats like 57 times during the concert? They paid $60 to see this thing and they are leaving every 5 minutes for food, drinks, potty breaks, or whatever. Sit your butt down and watch the concert. I’ll give you just one courtesy coupon to leave your seat over and above intermission.
  • Then there’s those three gals (yes, call me sexist but they usually are of the female persuasion) sitting behind me at every concert that talk and giggle the whole time. Again…you paid $60 for this experience. Shut up and watch.
  • Oh, and then there’s that guy that can do the really loud fingers-in-the-mouth whistle thing. He always seems to do it as I turn an ear his way and it is so loud that it physically hurts. I’m always tempted to break this guy’s fingers. But maybe I’m just jealous because I don’t know how to do it.
  • How about that one lady? You know her. She’s in her late 60s, maybe early 70s. She has her fingers in her ears the whole time and is scowling over how loud it is. Hellooooo. Concerts are loud. Get over it. It wasn’t a good concert unless your ears rang for several days.
  • Okay, let me reiterate an earlier point. You paid 60 hard-earned dollars to attend this event. You’ve gone through the hassle of parking, long walks, security checkpoints, as well as the other pinheads I’ve already discussed above. After all this, you decide to leave before the concert is over? What form of insanity are you in the grips of? For $60, security will be dragging me out at about 2am after the place is all cleaned up and they are trying to lock the place up and go home.
  • Finally, what is with this stupid encore fiasco? What a stupid, contrived little game we all play. I imagine that in the early days of concerts (whenever that was) that the crowd loved a performance so much, that their excessive applause genuinely made an act decide to sing a few more songs. But now, we all know that it’s a given. The house lights don’t go up when the act says goodbye. More importantly, they have not yet played the 2-4 songs that we really want to hear. Cut the crap and just do the concert. Let’s end the encore game.

It really was a good concert, but I had to get these things off my chest. They’ve been bugging me literally for decades. Thanks for listening!

4 Responses to “Concert Rants”

  1. John Says:

    1. I know I feel better when Security collects all the errant nail clippers. Be thankful, imagine if ‘finger-whistle-guy’ nicks his lower lip on a ragged nail causing blood to flow and trip #72 past ‘cranky concert goer’
    2. Haven’t you seen the Vesicare ads? Frequent urination is a common problem. Just avoid the rows with people wearing red sandwich boards proclaiming they suffer from weak bladders.
    3. In my experience, these ‘Lindsay Lohan wannabees’ are in front of me… drunk… skankily dressed… and standing with their arms in the air screaming, WHOOOO HOOOO! even when there is no call for such screaming, as if there is EVER a call for such behavior.
    4. Tap ‘finger whistle guy’ on the shoulder and ask for a lesson.
    5. Grandma likes Reba from that show on CWB… she’s not nearly as loud… and by the way, When is Barbara Jean going to come out?
    6. I don’t get these people either. I’ve only done it ONCE. The Beavers were beating ASU by 3 TD’s with 4 minutes left. The Boy and I were SOAKED to the bone… we couldnt take it anymore… and we were on the aisle.
    7. The part of the encore that annoys me is how the artists act like their doing something special JUST FOR YOU.

    btw… my ears are still ringing from a Bon Jovi concert in 1989 at this great OLD arena called… The Pavillion

  2. Bryan Says:

    Believe if or not, Barbara Jean did show up. Melissa Peterman made a “surprise” appearance to do a stand-up routine as the opening act.

  3. John Says:

    Seriously! I love her! lol

  4. Bryan Says:

    That series is a family favorite. We mourned when it was cancelled.

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