Torn Between Two Women

You don’t have to wait until Sunday (Punday) for the next pun. Here’s a bonus pun at no extra charge:

There was a man who had a girlfriend named Lorraine. Then one day a new woman was hired at his office. Her name was Clearly, and he soon fell in love with her. He thought about breaking things off with Lorraine. But he just couldn’t do it. Then Lorraine learned her employer was transferring her across country. The guy pretended to be sad when Lorraine moved. But deep down, he was happy. For he can see Clearly now Lorraine is gone.

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Posted in Humor, Punday. Tags: , . 1 Comment »

Evolution of Dance

Judson Laipply takes us through the history of dance over the past 50 years or so. Very funny.

Punday, September 28th

Getting into the skunk selling business makes a lot of scents.

Obamanation

Some say that Barack Obama, as president, would take us to Soviet-style socialism. Having said that, here’s a parody of the former Soviet Union’s national anthem. I don’t care which side you are for. Shut up and enjoy a laugh. I have no doubt that I will find something to post to poke fun at McCain.

It’s My God-given Right…

It’s my God-given right to:

  • Empty every last little bit of trash out of my car when I get gas
  • Try every sample at Costco and walk away during the sales pitch without feeling any guilt
  • Get new sheets and towels EVERY day in a hotel and not feel guilty about the environment
  • Look at all the hot chicks I want to. If they’re displaying it, I can look as long as I don’t touch. The Wife and I have an understanding on that.
  • Rudely end a sales call…particularly if they won’t take no for an answer when I’m nice
  • Pee outside. I live on a 20-acre ranch. I can find plenty of places to fulfill this primal need without exposing myself to the public.
  • Get 27 refills of my soft drink if the restaurant offers free refills

It’s my God-given right.

Punday, September 21st

I have a buddy that works at a gravel pit. I asked him how his job was going. He said, “It rocks.”

Lights Out

We had a major thunderstorm last night. It took our power out for a couple of hours. Having the power go out really messes me up. You’ll find me stumbling around the house searching for flashlights and candles. We have plenty of them, but I think that they have some secret evil pact in which they hide from me when I actually need them. Plus, there must have been at least a dozen times that I walked into a room and thought to myself “Hey, it’s dark in here…I need to turn the light on.” And I actually tried turning it on before realizing that…duh…it won’t work.

After the rain passed, we grabbed some lawn chairs, a few brewskies, and headed out to watch the storm. We just love watching thunderstorms at night. It was in the distance, so it wasn’t that risky. We had some nice conversation and enjoyed the nice breeze. Good times.