The Worst Song Ever: I’ve Got a Brand New Pair of Roller Skates

Okay, I believe that I have stumbled upon the worst song ever recorded. It’s called “I’ve Got a Brand New Pair of Roller Skates (You’ve Got a Brand New Key)” by Melanie Safka.

Listen at your own risk–this song will keep you awake with it running through your head over and over.

Once you recover from listening to it, please check out the lyrics and tell me what the song is about. Is there some sort of hidden meaning?

I rode my bicycle past your window last night
I roller skated to your door at daylight
It almost seems like you’re avoiding me
I’m OK alone but you’ve got something I need, well

I’ve got a brand new pair of roller skates
You’ve got a brand new key
I think that we should get together and
Try them on to see
I been lookin’ around awhile
You got something for me
Oh, I got a brand new pair of roller skates
You got a brand new key

I ride my bike, I roller skate, don’t drive no car
Don’t go too fast, but I go pretty far
For somebody who don’t drive, I been all around the world
Some people say I done all right for a girl

I asked your mother if you were at home
She said yes, but you weren’t alone
Oh, sometimes I think that you’re avoiding me
I’m OK alone but you got something I need, well

173 Responses to “The Worst Song Ever: I’ve Got a Brand New Pair of Roller Skates”

  1. girlgriot Says:

    No, not the worst! I loved this song when it came out. I was in 3rd or 4th grade, had no idea what she was singing about other than actual roller skates and keys, but it was a fun song … and encouraging that someone who couldn’t sing could sing and even get to make a record!

    • hellbound Says:


      • Shurmer Says:

        Dumb Ass – the song is from the early 1972 – and Melanie performed at Woodstock.

      • David Says:

        Everyone gives Melanie credit for this song and she did record it. She called it brand new key. But Janis Joplin also recorded it and call it I got a brand new pair of roller skates. Look it up on YouTube and you will see.

    • NICOLE Says:

      My boyfriend and I heard this song on t.v. the other nite and actually am starting to love this song! Very catchy and its funny bcuz i remember hearing it on Sesame Street when i was a kid some 20 years ago!

    • Anonymous Says:

      Sexual inuendo

      • Anonymous Says:

        you are really dumb this makes no sense the song is retarted and about some dumbass who needs a key for his rollerblades hes a dumbass too 🙂

      • dave Says:

        too bad you cant spell

      • Mary Says:

        He is right, this song is about SEX. Its a play on words, the band didnt just write lyrics about roller skates. Talk to some older people since its an older song- they will tell you its about sex.

      • Anonymous Says:

        Not about sex you can read what the writer had to say about this song if you look on you tube!

      • Anonymous Says:

        Guys, just look up “around the world” in All the definitions.

    • Anonymous Says:

      This is all about different kinds of sex. It’s just about sex.

    • June Villeco Says:

      I love this song!!!!!!!!!!!

  2. Bekki Says:

    hahaha the sad part is I remember this song playing on Sesame Street.

    • Anonymous Says:

      This song is not about sex it was just fun look on you tube and it tells you that! And I think it is fun and catchy. Love it!

  3. saintpaulgrrl Says:

    I remember this song from high school, which tells you how old I am! (I didn’t like it all that much then, either.)

  4. terp Says:

    M Driver sang a spoff of this song at the Oscars for Pan’s Lav. It was funny as shiat. Can you find a copy on the web? I’ve looked everywhere. Thanks

  5. Bryan Says:

    Thanks for dropping by. Sorry, I’m only a search engine to my daughter, not strangers.  :)

  6. Denise Says:

    This song is a classic for those of us that grew up in the 70’s. It was one of those silly nonsense songs that made you feel good. You couldn’t help, but sing along and smile.

  7. Bryan Says:

    Sorry, I didn’t mean to throw the 70s under the bus. Maybe I need to trash an 80s song also. How about “Don’t Worry, Be Happy”?

  8. lngseylashes Says:

    thats a cool song lol

  9. lngseylashes Says:

    I love IT.Got one of those good beats.But then I grew up in the 70’s LOL

  10. SU Says:


  11. Bryan Says:

    SU: And apparently you are too old to figure out how to click the Caps Lock button so that you don’t look like a yelling freak.

  12. Jim Says:

    Well, I was out at a nightclub last night, and this girl sang this song and it was awesome!
    As far as what the song means – If you remember those old metal roller skates, well they required a skate key to tighten them over your sneakers.
    THe song basically is a love song where she has the skates, but he has the key – which is not only a skate key but the key to her heart.

  13. BUFFALO BILL Says:


    • Anonymous Says:

      Someone finally got the meaning of the song correct.

    • Nobody Says:

      That’s what some people THINK the song means. The writer said herself that she didn’t mean it that way, it was just some silly song she came up with in 15 minutes. Upon hearing the song at first, I immediately loved the quirkiness and it never dawned on me the sexual metaphor. It was only until I looked up the lyrics and saw the insane comments did I notice it. But really, some people read into it WAY too much. Why can’t it just be a nice innocent love song?

      • Anonymous Says:

        It didn’t have a thing to do with Sex..She simply meant that he had the key to her skates and her heart.. So they ought to get together..Nothing more to it.

  14. Bryan Says:

    Caps lock is stuck dude.

  15. clonanster Says:

    you just have to check out the crotch shot at the end to figure out what it is about 🙂

    • Anonymous Says:

      If you read the uploader’s comments it says it was a PROJECT for their sister’s school. It wasn’t the original video.

  16. Bryan Says:

    It’s a crotch shot of a guy. That doesn’t do much for me.

  17. Kathy Says:

    Can’t believe you don’t like I’ve Got a Brand New Pair of Roller Skates. Love that song, even got asked by two young bartenders at the Outback last night If I knew the words to this song..classic!

  18. Bryan Says:

    Kathy, we can agree to disagree. I’m sure there are plenty of songs I like that you don’t. Post away on your blog if you want to…I won’t be offended. 🙂

    Thanks for dropping by my twisted corner of the Internet.

  19. Sixties Expert Says:

    An apparent music illiterate wrote: “Okay, I believe that I have stumbled upon the worst song ever recorded…” Actually, this song was a number 1 hit and in fact is titled “Brand New Key.” You’re made up title shows 1) you have little knowlege of popular music or musicians (she’s famous as “Melanie” not Melanie Safka), and 2) perhaps need a life away from this blog, which I stumbled upon by chance researching Melanie’s current status. Of course the great thing about the internet is anyone can upload a website and end up listed in search engines…

    Now in my admittedly not so humble, but knowledgeable, opinion one of the worst popular songs ever to hit the charts was a lyrically lame, unimaginative country crossover called “Flowers on the Wall” by the Statler Brothers.

    In high school I got so sick of this song on the radio to this day I eschew all country with the exception of Emmy Lou Harris (along with Johnny Cash the best singer-songwriter country ever produced.)

    Melanie actually wrote Brand New Key as a fun take on Leon Redbone’s music (if you also don’t know Leon Redbone it wouldn’t shock me…) and was surprised by it’s popularity and people’s imaginative interpretation of the innocent lyrics. She didn’t at all write this song with freudian sexual metaphors in mind (dirty minds think dirty thoughts yet the song reached number 1 depsite some radio stations refusing to play it.) As released, she was unhappy with the background arrangement producers added to the song after she recorded it and wrote “What Have They Done To My Song, Ma?” in protest:

    Melanie was one of the more unique folk singer-songwriters of the late 60s/early 70s and performed at Woodstock. She was actually more well known for her amazing vocal abilities on songs like “Lay Down (Candles in the Rain”) which she supposedly wrote of her Woodstock experience:

    A live version of Brand New Key is at:

  20. Bryan Says:

    Blah, blah, blah, wake me up when you are finished blabbering.

    And thanks for coming to my blog and insulting me. No really, I appreciate it.

    • Anonymous Says:

      Right… any interpretation without sexual innuendo is incorrect. This song is purely objective. Gtfo! the sex, the love, the literal rollerskates, its all in this song, or not. Enjoy your day

    • Anonymous Says:

      catchy little number lets have more like it instead of repeating one line over and over and screeching get a life

  21. Sixties Expert Says:

    Bryan wrote: “And thanks for coming to my blog and insulting me.”

    You’re welcome. I’ll consider you and Melanie as being even.

    Uh, sorry about the double post.

  22. audreypadre Says:

    This song was so perfect as I tightend my skates with my key. Just thinking of this song brings back such great memories! I must have been 8 years old. Life was full of fun and no worries then.

  23. Terri Says:

    I had just graduated high school when this song came out and, like someone else said here, it is full of sexual metaphors. She has the hots for this guy and she is chasing him while he shows no interest in her. I’d heard someone’s dad recalled hearing his daughter’s boyfriend singing the song and when it got to ‘I’ve got a brand new key’, Daddy said angrily “oh no you don’t!” It cannot be mistaken that this song is full of sexual metaphor!

    • Jenn Says:

      your an idiot.

      • Anonymous Says:

        It’s ridiculous to think this song has sexual inuendo in it. Only people who never skated with the skates that need a key would think that. This is not a song of your generation and you can’t get it’s meaning.

  24. Matt Says:

    Bryan, are you British? I can’t believe that you forgot about the other version of this song which is “Combine harvester” by The Wurzels (came out in 1976) Believe me, if you thought “Brand new key” was bad, you aint heard nothing yet! “I drove my tractor to your haystack last night, I threw my pitchfork at your dog to keep quiet.” Other such notable songs that you wish for a haystack to hide behind are “I am a cider drinker” which goes, “When the moon shines on the cowshed” and The Tractor song which is another farmers’ parody.

  25. Louie Says:

    Great song, fun, catchy, bright, cheerfull song. Know both young and older who love it.

  26. Phil Says:

    Brian – I was purusing my music library which caused me to think that I wondered whatever happened to the person that sang the song that has so stuck in your head. (I’ve got a brand new pair of roller skates.)
    As a person that was in highschool when this song came out – I would like to share with you ‘my’ take on the song.
    The country was rifled with growing pains, violence in the streets on college campuses Vietnam war going strong.
    Was the song great emcompassing meaningful? of course not. Was it trying to lighten up all the sadness grief and heartache everyone was feeling? I would think so. So, when you speak of a song being the worst ever, consider this ‘some of us’ during that period in time, needed a little something to pick up our spirits. This song did it for me.

  27. Bryan Says:

    Point well taken. For my generation “Don’t Worry, Be Happy” may very well fal linto the same category. Thanks for visiting!

  28. Rachael Says:

    I love this song, it’s great. The 70’s were fabulous, and so was this song. And apparently, a lot of artists seem to think so too, because it’s been re-recorded many times.

  29. Jenny Says:

    Okay, Bryan, if I understand your logic correctly, if ‘I’ve got a brand new pair of roller skates’ is the worst song ever, by definition, ‘Coconut’ *is not* the worst song? If that sixties expert guy hadn’t bored me after the first sentence, I have a feeling I might have agree with him.

    Listen to the song and then try to tell me that the lines ‘put the lime in the coconut and drink it all up, you put the lime in the coconut and drink it all up…’ do not loop in your head for the next three hours. Worst song ever that you love to hate.

  30. Bryan Says:

    What? You think I use logic here? Hahahahaha. Coconut is pretty bad too.

  31. kate Says:

    Listen, I hate to come to your blog and prove you wrong, but the worst song EVER is definately “Wildfire” by Michael Martin Murphey. It is. Go listen to it and you will want to singe your ears off.

  32. kate Says:

    You’re welcome.

  33. Bryan Says:

    Thanks Kate. There’s 8 minutes of my life I’ll never get back. It is pretty bad. I nearly fell asleep during the almost 2 minute piano intro. It’s in the same ballpark as IGABNPOR, but not quite as hideous. On that, we’ll have to agree to disagree..

  34. kate Says:

    Ok, wait. I forgot one (this is actually a conversation my husband and I had recently, so I was excited to see someone else pondering this important topic): I DARE you to top “Havin’ My Baby” by Paul Anka.

  35. Bryan Says:

    I agree…realy, really bad. I still don’t know though. Maybe I’ll have to ponder this and re-listen until I want to shoot myself.

    “My” baby. Selfish bastard! I think she may have had something to do with the process…sheesh.

  36. Bryan Says:

    By the way you are right, this is a very important topic. We may just have to start a separate blog to discuss this.

    Thinking about this a little more. Just play the tunes and don’t concentrat on the words. IGABNPOR is fingernails on the chalkboard. HMB is at least somewhat pleasant…if 70s.

  37. Poobah Says:

    You’ve been provided with the correct name for the song at least twice. It’s “Brand New Key.”

    I heard the song on AM radio when I was a kid, the meaning sailed right over my head.

    I’m rather partial to the Dollyrots’ cover of it.

    The Bastard Fairies do a nice version here with the accompaniment of the The Uncle Lincoln Ukulele Group.

  38. Angie Says:

    I love this song, it’s great!

  39. Derrell Says:

    WoW! Great Song from the 70’s. I can also Recommend: Meri Wilson – Telephone Man (1977)

  40. Alex Says:

    Dude, you need to spo being a “caps getsapo”. That’s almost as bad as spell checkers. At least they responded to you dumb analysis.

  41. Ty Says:

    Well ive only recently conected to the internet to be able to find a song I loved when I was about 10 I love it brings back child hood memories you can never replace

  42. Mike44 Says:

    Try on Muscrat Love by The Captain and Tenille.

    As to Brand New Key I’ll quote Willem Dafoe from To Live and Die in LA

    “You’re taste is in your ass”

    Dunno how old you are but I suppose as with many songs you had to have been there to understand. Like a vietnam vet. No movie or video or youtube song will ever replace being there and living it. Some movies like Apocalypse Now come 20% of the way there but unless you have been in a huey medivac with me flying low 5 feet over the treetops taking ground fire up the ass then watching your co-pilot’s head explode all over you, then and only then you’ll get it.

    Watching a youtube video somehow just aint the same as living it.

  43. Bryan Says:

    First, thanks for coming to my blog and insulting. No really, I always appreciate that. You are probably right that if I lived through the era, I might have a different perspective on the song.

    However, this is my blog and in my world, the song majorly sucks. That’s my opinion and it’s fine that you have a different opinion. Because I respect differing opinions, I’m leaving your comment here even though you are insulting me for no particular reason.

  44. Clark Says:

    I can’t believe you’re still getting comments on this thing nearly a year later. Maybe I need to insult more people on my blog by telling them the stuff they love is stupid.

    I also can’t get over the comments left by “Sixties Expert.” He was checking up on the current status of Melanie; does she even currently have a status? That’s like checking up on Tido Jackson.

    • Mike44 Says:

      “does she even currently have a status?”

      To you no, but to many of her fans worldwide yes. Google her current schedule and learn for yourself. 🙂

      “That’s like checking up on Tido Jackson.”

      Nah, it’s more like checking up on Mick Jagger, Joan Baez, Bob Dylan, Jackson Browne, etc…. But then I doubt those names ring a bell with you.

    • Mike44 Says:

      BTW Tido Jackson is Tito Jackson.

      Perhaps you are 20ish listening to current pablum. I’ll cut you and Bryan some slack.

    • Anonymous Says:

      Not if you collect old records!

  45. FreshyFresh Says:

    Wow, Bryan nice glasses on top of your bald penis shaped head. People like you are the epitome of douchebag. May God have mercy on your soul.

    • DEREK Says:

      NOW you are being insulted- Irefuse to stoop to bryan’s leavel BUT iI must agree you didn’t live it so shut up–this is the trouble with internet any MORON CAN CLAIM THEY ARE AN EXPERT AN BE PUBLISHED (OPINIONS ARE LIKE ASSHOLES ···Everyone has on and is entitled to one)–SO KEEP SHOWING US EXACTLY WHAT IS WRONG WITH TODAY’S SOCIETY BY BLATHERING ON ABOUT WHAT YOU KNOW NOTHING ABOUT- -and your welcome for the INSULT–you see publishing goes both ways

  46. FreshyFresh Says:

    Are you going to leave this comment on here cunt stain, Probably not….

  47. Jenna Says:


  48. Bryan Says:

    Freshy/Jenna: I’m assuming that you think that calling my head penis-shaped is a slam? Really? I think it’s a compliment. At least I have TWO body parts shaped like a penis while you both have no bodies parts worthy of being called penis-shaped.

  49. Anonymous Says:

    you suck asshole melanie is awesome!!!If you can’t get the grasp of it just being a fun song then you are an idiot!

  50. emmanuelle Says:

    I and my mom love that song I have not knowen it very long but I love it I herd it on XM and I am with you Anonymous it is just a fun song and I love if you can’t see it your nuts

  51. emmanuelle Says:

    one more thing back then roller skates us to have keys and they would go on your shoes and you need the key to take them off and he toke her key so she can’t take them off OK it is not a bad song it is just a good song. I am a kid and I know that

  52. Deron Says:

    i was a kid when this came out – i remember thinking, who buys a pair of roller skates w/o buying a key to put them on? and who buys a key w/o having a pair of roller skates? my mom said i wasn’t getting it.

  53. emmanuelle Says:

    No you were not geteing it at all he toke her key

  54. ECW Says:

    ya, you’re a f’n idiot if u think Melanie Safka could possibly write a bad song… IT NEVER HAPPENED. she’s a brilliant song writer, one of the best actually. her songs are not only some of the most original ever written, but beautiful and simplistic at the same time. Listen to ‘The People in The Front Row’, or ‘Beautiful People’, or ‘Look What They’ve Done to my Song’ to really understand this genius.

  55. Craigoh Says:

    “The Wurzels” in Britain did an excellent cover / spoof version of it, called: “I got a brand new combine harvester. (I’ll give you the key)”.

    It went to No. 1 in the UK.

    The Wurzels:

    The song:

  56. elasticwaistbandlady Says:

    I’m 35 and Brand New Key is one of my most favorite goofball songs. It’s right up there with Detachable Penis and Chuck Berry’s My Ding-A-Ling.

    If you think the hate you stirred up here is bad, Bryan, you should try slamming Weezer or Ween. Apparently, there’s some unwritten Internet law that you can never ever say that Ween or Weezer suck and are terribly overhyped.

  57. Key Man Says:

    I was 9 years old when this song came out and I had a radio strapped to my bike while I delivered newspapers this song was on all the time…
    There is nothing wrong with a cute little tune like this and when you call it THE WORST SONG EVER you really strike a nerve with OLD people (like me)…
    It certainly is not the worst; but just like the 70’s—it is a little cheesy (that is what makes it so fun…)
    However, thanks for posting the song on your little insignificant blog…I have been playing it for my new daughter and singing it to her and she gets a big smile every time Daddy sings the very high-pitched lyrics…
    lol… Your Pals….Mike and Lexi


    I think “My baby does the Hanky Panky” has to rate right up there. I mean, how hard was it to come up with those lyrics?????

  59. sage Says:

    Hahahahahaha ~ you’re STILL getting comments! I googled Melanie when I was reminded of this song. I hated it then, but liked it now. I didn’t get it. Now I do. Plus, she’s very sweet in the video. Bet you didn’t think so many people would care!

  60. Christi Says:

    No- worst song ever is “Never Been To Me” (I’ve been to paradise, but I’ve never been to me)….1/2 the song is spoken. Listening to that song makes suicide seem like a viable life choice……
    Actually like the Rollerskate song… kinda silly cute

  61. Lori Says:

    I like this song just because it’s full of multiple metaphors. It’s about a girl stalking this boy she likes, but he has a new girlfriend and doesn’t want her around. The “New Key” has a couple of metaphors, one for the fact he’s changed the locks and is locking her out and avoiding her, two it references the new girlfriend, and three, rollerskates in those days had keys so you could widen and shorten the sliders so they fit your shoes. He’s got the key, so she can’t get her rollerskates on/off and she needs him to “unlock” (have sex) with the singer.

    “I ride my bike, I roller skate, don’t drive no car
    Don’t go too fast, but I go pretty far
    For somebody who don’t drive, I been all around the world
    Some people say I done all right for a girl”

    She’s saying she’s willing to do everything sexual but intercourse. *L*

    Very dirty song!

  62. marie Says:

    im 20 and this song is awsome to me., fuck todAYS MUSIC , lol

  63. Mario Says:

    I’,m 72. Been there long before Melanie. To get lots of blogs, I see that you only have to trash something popular.
    How did you manage to listen to such a bad song all the way through to decide it was the worse?

  64. Sarah Says:

    Really Bryan? You just discovered this? Where have you been living? Under a rock? I’m only in my 20s and I totally have known of this song for like, forever. I think they used it for a commercial once or twice, even.

  65. JustMeFromThe70's Says:

    Someone is going to say every single song is filled with sexual metaphors. If you read what Dad in the headlights is saying about this song is true, it’s one of those tunes that plays repeatedly in your mind, over and over and over. That’s why they use it for commercials, it gets stuck in your head so even with a crappy commercial it still makes you think of the product. Smart marketing in truth.

    Stalking wasn’t a word we used in the seventies, it was chasing. Yes, he’s an older boy with a key to a car, she’s younger and only has her bike and skates, and she is definitely chasing him. I always thought it meant they had been friends and now he had outgrown her friendship since he had a car. He also has a girlfriend now. . . I don’t know maybe I was naive but someone is going to say every song contains sexual metaphors because that’s all they think about.

  66. JDintheOC Says:

    When this song first came out, everyone was asking if there was an underlying message to the song. Even my girlfriend asked that question. Eventually, she just resigned herself to the fact that it was just a cute song and nothing more.

  67. Roger P. Says:

    Don’t care what anybody thinks or says. Melanie Safka (known simply as Melanie) was a goddess when she was popular. Her song “Brand New Key” was one single off the LP, “Gather Me” that was one of her ‘masterpieces” (check out the entire LP). Called “Earth Mother” and a few other things in her day, Melanie was popular at the end of the flower power/peace movement of the 60’s/70’s and fit right in then AND now. For a while she was overwhelmed with the response she got from her fans. She was then and still is now a voice for that generation. I loved Brand New Key when it came out (I was a freshman in High School) as every cool chick not only loved the song, but, knew all the words and sang along when it came on and of course, I was in love or at least lust, with all of them! Rose colored glasses, long hair w/ a flower in in and a colorful outfit w/ white go go boots. Awesome! You kids these days have no idea what you missed!
    Melanie’s greatest hits should not be missed or absent from any serious collectors library. Songs you need to check out are “Psychotherapy” (Live Version is Best), Beautiful People, Lay Down (Candles In The Rain), Bitter Bad, Ring The Living Bell/Shine The Living Light, Together Alone, Look What They’ve Done To My Song Ma, and Some Say I Got Devil, just to name a few.
    LP’s you’ll want to check out or own: “Gather Me” “Affectionately Melanie”, “Candles In The Rain”, “Leftover Wine”, “Photograph”, “Born To Be” & “Stoneground Words” although there are more that are worth mention.
    A genius with melody and lyrics, Melanie had the ability to take a song from another artist and put her own spin on it and make it her own as well. She is an often overlooked gem in a crown of the music of that generation.

  68. Scentsy Says:

    I just heard this song during a commercial and loved it so much I wanted to look it up. Lucky me, I found this blog. I love this song! It is happy and it makes you feel good. That’s a lot more than most music can say. 🙂

  69. JF Says:

    Wow, looking at all these comments, being a self-entitled douche with poor musical taste knows no age.

    Your music isn’t “better” you wrinkled brats. Your music tastes are as bad as younger people, who will sadly wither into sad, sad, people pathetically clinging to youth.

    Get over yourself. You suck, your tastes suck, and your sense of relevance sucks. Do what you do best and whine about the past, while never looking to the future. It’s like you’re a living fossil.

    Hell, my 65+ father has been known to listen to new bands and play video games.

    Also, this song makes me want to stab out my ears. Yodel-heavy “folk” music has always been a miscarriage of sound. In fact, I’m going to the nursing home with some jazz records and psych up some of your parents to hit you with canes and make you listen to music that has a good beat you pseudo-intellectual clowns.

    Then I’ll walk them home and force you all to listen to “Video Games” by the Black Out Band…because that’s the new equivalent.

    • JDintheOC Says:

      Hell…I’m 70 and I thought this song was cute when it first came out and still do…so do my wife and daughters. So, are you going to accuse me of being a clown. I’m a Viet nam Vet…tell me where you live and I’ll come over and explain it to you!

  70. j franklyn Says:

    goodsong made u fill good when going out with someone better than some rubbish around bet it makes comeback ,jj

  71. creekpaum Says:

    my husband saw the commericial and now sings the song all the time. brings back good

  72. Bonnie Says:

    Of course you can have your opinion one-who-hates-this-song, but you cannot ridicule others who enjoy it. Do you think you’re going to change our opinions by calling us named and claiming we have bad musical taste. Or are you just another chubby harry man that still lives with his mother and has nothing better to do but tell people off about stupid, stupid comments. Do you really have nothing better to do, but seem like a bigger person since we’re unable to see your small, cynical, and unaccepting face?

    And anyways, I love this song. I don’t have to insult older persons to get my point across. I hope someone treats you with the same disrespect when you’re of that age.

    And Melanie explains her song herself, in this quote: ” ‘Brand New Key’ I wrote in about fifteen minutes one night. I thought it was cute; a kind of old thirties’ tune. I guess a key and a lock have always been Freudian symbols, and pretty obvious ones at that. There was no deep serious expression behind the song, but people read things into it. They made up incredible stories as to what the lyrics said and what the song meant. In some places, it was even banned from the radio.”

    • Wrektubpes Says:

      Actually as you saw, that person can be a jerk and ridicule other people for liking it if they want to. Now you can choose whether to ignore their ridicule or to respond to it as you did, but you cannot stop them from ridiculing others if that’s what they want to do. I’m not going to call you any names or anything like that, I don’t feel that’s productive in any way, but I am going to say that they most certainly can ridicule anyone they want. Just as I can, and you can, and everyone else on the internet can. Unless of course this is your WordPress page and you decided to sensor or delete their comment, (which of course would be your right if it were your page) then I don’t know how you think you can tell someone that they cannot ridicule someone else. I do have to say though it’s pretty funny that you went with the almost boilerplate standard hypocritical ” you have no argument so you just call people names, what are you some basement-dwelling blah blah blah, don’t you have anything better to do than insult people”. It’s always hilarious to read someone telling another person they’re out of line for doing something and then they immediately go and do the exact same thing to them. The whole ” don’t you have anything better to do” thing is always funny too, because you’re responding to someone and basically telling them they’re a loser because they have nothing better to do than be a troll, but then you’re sitting there spending your precious time responding to their comment that you said was a waste of their time… And no, at this moment I don’t have anything better to do, but I also don’t care, you’d be pretty bored too if you were stuck in the hospital. Oh the internet, how did we ever get along before it? LOL. Anyway, I just happened to come across this because I noticed it was the artists birthday.

  73. Anonymous Says:

    My son was singing the refrain over and over this Thanksgiving. I happen to have her album from Woodstock Days. Refreshing!

  74. Jennie Says:

    I was one of those young at heart people that had roller skates with a key…still have the key..kept it for memories. No roller blades for me. Never read anything into the lyrics…just a cute song. Yes, I’m telling my age..but hey it’s great. wonderful having great memories and great oldies to hear.

  75. Wow just wow Says:

    Some of you people need to get over yourselves. I highly doubt he’s being literal when he says it is the worst song ever recorded. It is simply a song that gets stuck in your brain and after you’ve heard it repeated there (and once again on TV as well right now) ad nauseum, it drives you a bit crazy with its kitschy, folksy sound and lyrics. Even if he is, the level of vitriol over a goofy song like this is moronic.

    Those of you who have to resort to immature personal attacks over a song you had nothing to do with need to get over your obvious lack of self esteem that assuredly stems from an anatomical deficiency. Better yet, the Vietnam vet who is more than likely 12 years old in all reality who is going to threaten to beat someone up over the internet. Here’s an internet nickel, go buy yourself a clue. A real Vietnam vet, of which I know many, couldn’t care less about crap like this.

    And to the Melanie lover who compared her to the level of Joan Baez, Bob Dylan and Mick Jagger? Please go ahead and feel free to use that same internet coinage to buy yourself a brain and some new ears as they will certainly be better than the ones you are using right now.

    All that aside, and to get back on topic, I find the song amusing, but it does certainly stick in my head and drive me a bit crazy after a little while. The Wildfire song Kate mentioned is pretty bad too. One of my co-workers hates it so much I e-mail it to him when I want to rile him up.

  76. Anonymous Says:

    It’s a cute song, and it’s not pretending to be anything more. It’s not exactly musical genius, but it’s no travesty, either. It’s always been a favorite of mine, largely due to its innocent simplicity.

    If there’s any metaphor in the lyrics, it seems just as likely they key refers to the “key to her heart”, rather than something more scandalous. It’s also fully possible they’re just two kids who weren’t bright enough to buy a matching rollerskate/key set.

    You can find sex in any art, if you really want to see it there.

    I have heard some godawful covers of it, and I’m not a big fan of the original artist’s vocals, but as a song, it’s cute, silly, catchy. A quintessential folk song.

  77. Anonymous Says:

    You dumb asses this song is about drugs KEY = KILO !!!

    • DEREK Says:

      maybe if you weren’t buggin for a fix you might realize the song had nothing to do with drugs–TOO MANY FRIED BRAIN CELLS???–COULD VERY WELL BY YOUR TROUBLES in thinking key=kilo(all while in a song about rollerskates)

  78. RAG Says:

    These comments illustrate the genius of the lyrics.

  79. Dr. Smartass Says:

    Probably just another song about 2 promiscuous people scoring another point apiece…

  80. Joe Says:

    There is another story behind this song which no one has mentioned. The writer was a struggling song writer and a devout vegetarian who , on a whim, one day went to a Mcdonalds and pigged out on two big macs with french fries and soda. She came home and wrote this song in about fifteen minutes and it became an immediate hit. Just a quirky piece of trivia.

  81. Anonymous Says:

    if you were any more then twelve you would realize the entire song is a sexual innuendo, dumbass.

    • Bob L Says:

      I was in my late twenties when I first heard this song. My first thought was, “Boy, she’s every bit as clever as Jim Morrison was with ‘Backdoor Man’.” I’m in my 70’s today, I still like the song and I still believe it was written with a double entendre in mind. What’s wrong with that? There’s really nothing risque about it unless you want there to be.

  82. Anonymous Says:


  83. Anonymous Says:

    to whom who labled this as the worest song ever

    your a douche, who knows nothing about what good or bad music is.

  84. Anonymous Says:

    Yeah, I’d have to disagree. This is actually a really good song. There are much worse.

    And as far as what she’s talking about. It’s sex. When she says “you’ve got a brand new key” she talking about his dick, to put in simple terms. So before you go judging the song, look at the hidden meaning in the lyrics.

    • DEREK Says:


  85. Deeder Says:

    Melanie has done here what most artists try for but miss the mark – she has written, recorded, and made a lot of money off of a song that is still being spoken of some 40 years later. In my book that makes her one of the most successful singer/songwriters of the century. This was one of three singles she had in the top 40 at the same time – a feat that lasted for over 35 years and has never been bested by a female solo act – but has only been matched. She did (and continues to do) what all the others tried to do – but failed. This Blog clearly shows that her music is timeless – good or bad. And my god was she beautiful back then!!!!!!!

  86. Anonymous Says:


  87. Maria Says:

    It’s supposed to be a fun song. Innuendo jumps out at people who have dirty minds.

  88. Anonymous Says:

    i think its the best song ever

  89. Anonymous Says:

    This is AWESOME! I post from 2 years ago can live on and on. I love the internet.

  90. Cameraman Says:

    Whatever the words are about no one has mentioned the very cute sexy sound of Melany singing it. THAT is what has made it so popular plus the really catchy tune. And absolutely right… there’s not many songs that are still being talked about 40 years on so it’s got to have something. I love it!.
    here was another similar thing, probably a bit before that, where the girl sings “I’m gonna go to a movie show.. I’ve been saving all my dough”.. and “I’m gonna shine like neons do” .. great effect but can’t remember the singer or the rest of it!

  91. Dan Harrigan Says:

    God people are really dumb. It’s music people. Analysis it how ever you want because that’s what music is about. Sure the artist may have their meanings of a song, but it doesn’t mean it can’t be heard and understood in a different way. Its called your perception.

    FYI – This is a great song

  92. psl restaurants Says:

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  93. Amee Says:

    For this song to come out in the 70s its very clever, not to mention her voice is superb. Its very natural and real, not like this edited bullshit we have now. I have no idea why people would prefer music now a days like “Super Bass” or good Ol’ Brittany Spear songs over a true classic song and this is coming from a twenty year old 😀

  94. free baby car seats free in idaho Says:

    Very good information. Saved to boomarks!

  95. Nikita Says:

    My mother used to sing this song to me as a little girl, apparently it took the artist 15 min to write this song, there is no hidden meaning, it was literally about those old roller skates that you used to clip onto your shoes and you needed to adjust with a key

  96. Don Says:

    It’s cool there’s so many ways of interpreting music. :^)

  97. Anonymous Says:

    I know this is a great song. I too, had rollerskates with a key..and no sex. FYI: Sex is not bad, it’s the people who make it bad. Why, do you think the good Lord made a woman and a man? Wakeup! I recenlty met Jeordie, Melanie’s daughter. She was singing outside at one of the art galleries in Scottsdale Old Town. I had no idea who she was, and then my friend Patty said who wrote that song? (she was singing “I’ve Got a Brand New Pair of Roller Skates”), and she said Melanie, my mom. WOW! I hugged Jeordie, and we all bonded. Jeordie is a great singer…just like momma. 😉 I plan on seeing Jeordie tonight at the Jackrabbit Lounge. She comes from good stock! I love this song, it’s very uplifting and I sang right along with Jeordie. We had the best music back then, and we still do…our music will never die. Put this in your pipe and smoke it!


  98. click Says:

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  99. Iron Byron Says:

    ……great song….,,could listen to it over @ over….Iron

  100. Zed Says:

    The ’80s equivalent was called “Sausalito Summernight”. When someone once admitted to me they liked it I asked, “both notes?”

  101. Terry S Galbreath Says:

    SEXUAL ENUENDO you idiot!! It couldn’t be clearer!

  102. J Mark Dodds Says:

    video. Jackass use this song as background for some of their ludicrous exploits so, really, it can’t be that BAD.

    Actually by comparison with the video the song seems pretty good.

  103. Oso Soploso Says:

    I think its an awesomely cute lil song…… I know Melanie stated that it was purely fun & innocent……but hey, John Lennon also said that “Lucy in the Sky” was inspired by a drawing his kiddo made & had absolutely nothing to do w LSD…..

  104. Anonymous Says:

    Quirky. cute song….loved it when it came out.


  105. Check that Says:

    Write more, thats all I have to say. Literally, it seems as though you relied on the video to make your point.
    You clearly know what youre talking about, why waste your intelligence on just posting videos to your site when you could be giving us
    something enlightening to read?

  106. richard Says:

    You tnk this bad, listento Judy in Disguise With Glasses, by John Fred and His Playboy Band
    About 1969

  107. Gret Locks Says:

    It’s a cute little song with a catchy tune that DOES have multiple meanings. Isn’t that the mark of a good song?

    If you don’t get it and don’t like it, leave it alone. If you like songs WITH the multiple meaning listen to it that way. As other have posted, it has a sexual innuendo…his key and her skates. It has romantic meaning…he has the key to her heart. And it’s cute because old roller skates used to have keys so they could be tightened…I grew up in that era.

    But you can even play it to children and let them think it’s just about someone needing a key for some old roller skates. Let THEM worry about hidden meanings later when they get big.

  108. Anonymous Says:

    Oh Good Grief! It’s not about sex! The roller skates and key is simply about her saying that she thinks the two would fit together (as a relationship). I loved this song when it came out and I still love it. My favorite part is about how she’s “done alright for a girl.”

  109. Carol Burdge Says:

    If you had roller skates as a kid (I’m now 66) and misplaced your key you were helpless. So you turn to a friend and hoped she or he had a key. Worse you lost your roller skates. That you can’t borrow.It was an innocent topic when life in the 70’s was becoming less and less innocent.

  110. Ray Parker Says:

    Much better than the tripe on offer these days and prior – especially in the 90s ‘2 Unlimited’ – No limits need I say more?

  111. JJ Adams Says:

    You’re wrong about Brand New Roller Skates—-every Rap song is the worst—it’s not even music—it Crap

  112. Crystal Says:

    My 2 year old loves this song. It’s a catchy song.

  113. Lex Says:

    You’re all idiots. Old skates needed a key to tighten the straps around your feet. Hence, I’ve got a brand new pair of roller skates, you got a brand new key.

  114. ReginaM Says:

    Baby boomers know this as a cute quirky little song. And yes it’s about sex. Everything is about sex.

  115. kbridgford Says:

    One of my favorite songs, cute lil song

  116. lori Says:

    I love this song

  117. Steve AuBuchon Says:

    It’s an all time classic you moron .

  118. James W Kauska Says:

    I absolutely love this song if I can figure out the course I’m going to learn how to sing it. What the hell is wrong with sex anyway. Why are so many people in this country so anal about sex. And yes I’m at the previous sentence to be suggestive. My first hit of LSD woke me up and it changed me from being somewhat conservative into a bleeding heart liberal. I love Bernie Sanders and Michael Moore and Jesus and Buddha. I try to love my enemies although that’s hard to do. Oh yes that’s right I don’t have any enemies. That’s just a misperception we all suffer from.

    • Wrektubpes Says:

      Wow I’ve never once been truly frightened when thinking about LSD before even when recalling a few trips that went a bit sideways. You just made LSD sound more frightening then every single bad trip tale I’ve ever heard of combined. I don’t disagree with you on the subject of sex though and have never understood what the hell is wrong with us Americans. Especially when it comes to things like television and other media, why is violence considered so much more acceptable to portray then sex is? Heck, or even non sexual nudity? TV shows can show someone being shot or stabbed and get a PG rating but even a single solitary female nipple will get an R rating. It’s very strange and backwards in my opinion.

  119. Anonymous Says:

    reminds me of that push bike song….down up pedals going down up down…. innocentish let the new generation toddlers enjoy it!

  120. VET Says:

    I LOVE this song!

  121. Irene Ong Says:

    Top tune reminds me of the best of the seventies, for the narrow minded who don’t get it, guess what your kids will say the same about nirvana.

  122. Lobby c Says:

    I’ve always hated this song so much, I actually heard Bob Rivers parody version of it before I ever heard the real song. If I remember correctly the parody was about Tonya Harding and the line went “You Got a Brand New Pair of Roller Skates I’m going to whack your knee” it was pretty funny song and it always kind of made me laugh of it but it always annoyed that heck outta me too and just stuck in my head.

  123. Bridget I Delaney Says:

    Hardly the worse. Have you heard some of the stuff out there . . . even back from this era?

  124. Anonymous Says:

    This is the most incredible comments section I’ve seen in a long, long time.

    Presented for your bad song consideration: Viper the Rapper’s “You’ll Cowards Don’t Even Smoke Crack”:

  125. Alphonse Benoit Says:

    I know what you’re saying totally but didn’t those roller skates used to tighten up with a key ?
    the roller skates came with a key and a slot in the bottom of them left would loosen the skate right with
    Titan the skate.
    I still often ponder over the true meaning of that song but thats all I can put to it.
    That’s why I was thinking first when she says you’ve got something I need it’s like he has the key to her roller skates and she can’t get them off.
    In some weird Twisted way I think she is trying to say that no matter what she can’t be without him even though he’s moved on.


  126. Robert Johnson Says:

    I think you need a Brand New Key

  127. Anonymous Says:

    u are dumb. great song

  128. Obligate Synthesia Says:

    “brand new rollerskates… key” vocal style is “girlish”, so I’d vaguely perceive lyrics as puppy stalking/love.

    Another oddball hit was sylvia (titled “pillow talk”?) which was ‘uncomfortably suggestive’ (airsuck through teeth) and not very musical.

    Other 1970s hits were more torturous.
    byebye american pie (It goes on and on. “AGGGhhh stop stop-p-p stoppp.” Check CDC data for how many children this killed today)
    andy kay
    paper lace
    afternoon delight (obvious joke: “watch your step”)
    “we had joy, we had fun,, seasons in the sun (something about dying)” (perpetrated by charles manson’s cousin?)
    Much of the later steely dan (“Eff – Emmmmm… no grey matter at alllll”)
    kashmir (slog slog slog. rapid decline of led zep)
    “if there’s a rock n roll heaven, then (something something) is just a one night stand” (the cringe-y circus sideshow menagerie of vocals doesn’t ameliorate the dirge)
    “all by myself. don’t wanna be. all by myself”

    Merely obnoxious:
    kc & sunshine band’s knockoffs of their 1 hit, “do a little dance… get down tonight” (distinguished by the ‘tactically’ parsimonious bass notes, and the popping kybd)
    bruce springsteen (except candy’s room)
    mangione (instrumental… from stallone movie?)
    hamster love and whatever other capt tenille
    bay city rollers
    kiss ballad(s).. and probably everything else except the somewhat bouncy “i wanna rock n roll..”
    frampton ‘live’
    dreadlock holiday (a horror of sofa-leg kicking stupidity) 10cc

    Look through top100 lists to find more.

    The 1980s seems worse overall, partly because radio gave up playing the better stuff.
    And the same happened with hiphop, trip, breaks, trance, prog house in the ~1990s

  129. David Says:

    Everyone gives Melanie credit for this song and she did record it. She called it brand new key. But Janis Joplin also recorded it and call it I got a brand new pair of roller skates. Look it up on YouTube and you will see.

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