Naming Rights for This Blog Now Available

Apparently the Rose Garden Arena in Portland (home of my beloved Portland Trailblazers) is one of the last NBA arenas that has not sold naming rights. I just found out from John that this will not be the case starting with the 2008-2009 season. Yes, the beloved Rose Garden sign will be removed forever and replaced by the corporate logo of the highest bidder.

I am really conflicted on this. The sentimental, near-life-long fan in me definitely does not want this to happen. The Rose Garden name has meaning; Nike Arena (or whatever it turns out to be) is meaningless. However, the capitalist in me says go for it and make every penny you can. That’s the American way.

It’s not likely anything I or anyone else says will change their minds. I’m going to just give up and join in the cash bonanza. So this blog is announcing the sale of naming rights. I understand that the oil companies and Microsoft have lots of spare cash. Perhaps they’d be willing to throw some my way. As soon as the check clears, the Dad in the Headlights moniker will be removed forever and replaced by the winner’s company name and logo.

Now Mr. CFO, you may not think that this would be a very good investment on your part. On the contrary; you need to be aware that this blog generates tens of hits per day. This will indeed be mutually-beneficial partnership. Make your bid today in the comments section.

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More Global Warming Please

We went to McCall, Idaho this weekend for the McCall Winter Carnival. This is a unique winter festival with lots of activities. The centerpiece of this event is ice sculptures all around the city. Check out this link for some of the amazing work from last year’s event.

Probably the second biggest event at the festival is the Mardi Gras parade. This is not your typical parade. I haven’t been to New Orleans, but I would imagine that this parade is much more like the New Orleans version than your typical hometown parade. Many in the parade are dressed up like the folks at Mardi Gras. They throw out tons of candy for the kids and tons of the bead necklaces (at last count, we picked up 40 of them).

About mid-way through the parade, there was this big group of high school kids carrying some sort of banner encouraging people to attend a global warming awareness rally later this month. The irony of this was not lost on me. This is the winter carnival. This has been the coldest winter in several years around here. We are standing out in the frigid weather with snow coming down on us like crazy. And they are talking to us about global warming? At that point, I was hoping for some global warming. My toes were so cold they were numb. Bring on the global warming.

(Yes I know it was one particular day in one particular isolated area. Pipe down environmental freaks. It’s funnier the way I tell it.)

How to Avoid Exercise (or, I’m the Laziest Person on the Planet)

I’m just about the laziest person on the planet (just ask The Wife). I know that I should be exercising to be healthier (and shed a few pounds), but I just can’t bring myself to do it. Well, after extensive research by the DITH Wellness Department, we have found a viable alternative to exercise: drinking alcohol.

Benjamin Franklin said “Beer is living proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy.” According to an article at time.com, this is absolutely true. It seems that those who do not drink and do not exercise have the highest risk of heart disease. Those who exercise or drink have a 30% reduction in risk. Finally, those freaks that exercise but are smart enough to also drink, have a 50% reduction in risk.

So if a couple drinks per day will replace some exercise, then lots of drinks will replace lots of exercise, right? I don’t know, there may have been some caveats or something later in the article. But when I hit the part about alcohol replacing exercise, I got up and did a little Snoopy celebration dance. Okay, not for very long because I didn’t want to cross that line into exercise.

Anyway, cheers to your good health!

Change, Change, Change: Shut Up Already!

Change. That seems to be what all of the candidates are talking about. Of course, they won’t tell us what that change is. We just need change for change’s sake, right? Regardless of who gets elected, I’m worried that change (in my pocket) is all that I’ll be left with.

The video below put together by Hugh Atkin is fantastic. The first 45 seconds or so are a bit tedious, but then he takes sound bytes from speeches to sing David Bowie’s song Changes.

I Need Some Stimulation, Please

So it looks like we’re going to get an “economic stimulus package” jammed down our throats whether we like it or not. It’s all about politics. If either party had refused to go along, the other party would have used it against them in the upcoming elections. So in the end, they all agree to squander our future to win the next election. The problem is, stimulus packages don’t work. Our economy is too big for a $300-$600 check per person to have any real impact. Plus, think about it: we import most of our stuff, so a good chunk of the money will be going overseas.

However, the real problem is that we are just adding to an already crushing federal debt (see my previous post Looming Federal Fiscal Crisis: A Wake-up Call). It is simply immoral. We are going to go out and buy another iPod, TV, iPhone, or take a mini-vacation and put it on the national credit card that our kids and grand-kids are will have to pay. Proleptic Life has a great post on this angle of the story–check it out.

Am I Evil?

John wanted to know how evil I am compared to him. So here you have it. I’m 35% evil, while John is only 34% evil. Sorry John, I’m more evil than you, despite the fact that you think I’m a “good” boy. I think I’ve probably become more evil as the years goes by.  🙂

This site is certified 35% EVIL by the Gematriculator

This site is certified 65% GOOD by the Gematriculator

And this cannot be disputed, because The Gematriculator says that its methods are infallible, so…

The Power of Persuasion

I went to the breakroom this afternoon to grab some water. I wasn’t planning on staying, but saw a couple of buddies that motioned got me to join them. So I finished up at the ice/water machine and sat down with them. One of the guys asked me if I had noticed that the water wasn’t tasting very good today. I took a sip and agreed that it was less than desirable.

A few minutes later, we saw another co-worker walk in and head over to grab some water. We motioned for him to join us. Then I got an idea. An awful idea. Bryan had a wonderful, awful idea (wink to the Grinch there). I whispered to others at the table that we should tell the guy getting water that we think the filter on the machine must have been replaced, because the water tastes better today. We agreed on our evil plan and awaited his arrival.

He came and sat down. We had a few seconds of the usual pleasantries. Then I moved in for the kill:

Bryan: “Hey, I think they must have replaced the filter on the water machine, because it tastes a lot better today.”

Him: “Sweet, that’s great.”

(More idle chatter for a moment, then he took a sip of his water.)

Bryan: “So what do you think? Does it taste better?”

Him: “Yeah, you’re right. It does test better.”

I couldn’t keep it going any longer. I immediately started laughing and exchanged high-fives with the other two guys at the table and we filled him in on our evil gag. The power of persuasion is absolutely amazing.

Of course, it just occurred to me that the original two guys at the table could have been doing the same thing to me…hmmm.