Naming Rights for This Blog Now Available

Apparently the Rose Garden Arena in Portland (home of my beloved Portland Trailblazers) is one of the last NBA arenas that has not sold naming rights. I just found out from John that this will not be the case starting with the 2008-2009 season. Yes, the beloved Rose Garden sign will be removed forever and replaced by the corporate logo of the highest bidder.

I am really conflicted on this. The sentimental, near-life-long fan in me definitely does not want this to happen. The Rose Garden name has meaning; Nike Arena (or whatever it turns out to be) is meaningless. However, the capitalist in me says go for it and make every penny you can. That’s the American way.

It’s not likely anything I or anyone else says will change their minds. I’m going to just give up and join in the cash bonanza. So this blog is announcing the sale of naming rights. I understand that the oil companies and Microsoft have lots of spare cash. Perhaps they’d be willing to throw some my way. As soon as the check clears, the Dad in the Headlights moniker will be removed forever and replaced by the winner’s company name and logo.

Now Mr. CFO, you may not think that this would be a very good investment on your part. On the contrary; you need to be aware that this blog generates tens of hits per day. This will indeed be mutually-beneficial partnership. Make your bid today in the comments section.

More Global Warming Please

We went to McCall, Idaho this weekend for the McCall Winter Carnival. This is a unique winter festival with lots of activities. The centerpiece of this event is ice sculptures all around the city. Check out this link for some of the amazing work from last year’s event.

Probably the second biggest event at the festival is the Mardi Gras parade. This is not your typical parade. I haven’t been to New Orleans, but I would imagine that this parade is much more like the New Orleans version than your typical hometown parade. Many in the parade are dressed up like the folks at Mardi Gras. They throw out tons of candy for the kids and tons of the bead necklaces (at last count, we picked up 40 of them).

About mid-way through the parade, there was this big group of high school kids carrying some sort of banner encouraging people to attend a global warming awareness rally later this month. The irony of this was not lost on me. This is the winter carnival. This has been the coldest winter in several years around here. We are standing out in the frigid weather with snow coming down on us like crazy. And they are talking to us about global warming? At that point, I was hoping for some global warming. My toes were so cold they were numb. Bring on the global warming.

(Yes I know it was one particular day in one particular isolated area. Pipe down environmental freaks. It’s funnier the way I tell it.)

How to Avoid Exercise (or, I’m the Laziest Person on the Planet)

I’m just about the laziest person on the planet (just ask The Wife). I know that I should be exercising to be healthier (and shed a few pounds), but I just can’t bring myself to do it. Well, after extensive research by the DITH Wellness Department, we have found a viable alternative to exercise: drinking alcohol.

Benjamin Franklin said “Beer is living proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy.” According to an article at time.com, this is absolutely true. It seems that those who do not drink and do not exercise have the highest risk of heart disease. Those who exercise or drink have a 30% reduction in risk. Finally, those freaks that exercise but are smart enough to also drink, have a 50% reduction in risk.

So if a couple drinks per day will replace some exercise, then lots of drinks will replace lots of exercise, right? I don’t know, there may have been some caveats or something later in the article. But when I hit the part about alcohol replacing exercise, I got up and did a little Snoopy celebration dance. Okay, not for very long because I didn’t want to cross that line into exercise.

Anyway, cheers to your good health!

Change, Change, Change: Shut Up Already!

Change. That seems to be what all of the candidates are talking about. Of course, they won’t tell us what that change is. We just need change for change’s sake, right? Regardless of who gets elected, I’m worried that change (in my pocket) is all that I’ll be left with.

The video below put together by Hugh Atkin is fantastic. The first 45 seconds or so are a bit tedious, but then he takes sound bytes from speeches to sing David Bowie’s song Changes.

I Need Some Stimulation, Please

So it looks like we’re going to get an “economic stimulus package” jammed down our throats whether we like it or not. It’s all about politics. If either party had refused to go along, the other party would have used it against them in the upcoming elections. So in the end, they all agree to squander our future to win the next election. The problem is, stimulus packages don’t work. Our economy is too big for a $300-$600 check per person to have any real impact. Plus, think about it: we import most of our stuff, so a good chunk of the money will be going overseas.

However, the real problem is that we are just adding to an already crushing federal debt (see my previous post Looming Federal Fiscal Crisis: A Wake-up Call). It is simply immoral. We are going to go out and buy another iPod, TV, iPhone, or take a mini-vacation and put it on the national credit card that our kids and grand-kids are will have to pay. Proleptic Life has a great post on this angle of the story–check it out.

Am I Evil?

John wanted to know how evil I am compared to him. So here you have it. I’m 35% evil, while John is only 34% evil. Sorry John, I’m more evil than you, despite the fact that you think I’m a “good” boy. I think I’ve probably become more evil as the years goes by.  🙂

This site is certified 35% EVIL by the Gematriculator

This site is certified 65% GOOD by the Gematriculator

And this cannot be disputed, because The Gematriculator says that its methods are infallible, so…

The Power of Persuasion

I went to the breakroom this afternoon to grab some water. I wasn’t planning on staying, but saw a couple of buddies that motioned got me to join them. So I finished up at the ice/water machine and sat down with them. One of the guys asked me if I had noticed that the water wasn’t tasting very good today. I took a sip and agreed that it was less than desirable.

A few minutes later, we saw another co-worker walk in and head over to grab some water. We motioned for him to join us. Then I got an idea. An awful idea. Bryan had a wonderful, awful idea (wink to the Grinch there). I whispered to others at the table that we should tell the guy getting water that we think the filter on the machine must have been replaced, because the water tastes better today. We agreed on our evil plan and awaited his arrival.

He came and sat down. We had a few seconds of the usual pleasantries. Then I moved in for the kill:

Bryan: “Hey, I think they must have replaced the filter on the water machine, because it tastes a lot better today.”

Him: “Sweet, that’s great.”

(More idle chatter for a moment, then he took a sip of his water.)

Bryan: “So what do you think? Does it taste better?”

Him: “Yeah, you’re right. It does test better.”

I couldn’t keep it going any longer. I immediately started laughing and exchanged high-fives with the other two guys at the table and we filled him in on our evil gag. The power of persuasion is absolutely amazing.

Of course, it just occurred to me that the original two guys at the table could have been doing the same thing to me…hmmm.

Looming Federal Fiscal Crisis: A Wake-up Call

Here at DITH, the topics are normally pretty light. However, today I have come across some information that you just aren’t hearing anywhere else and you need to. It quite literally involves the financial survival of our nation. Please realize that I don’t make such a statement lightly. I know this is going to be pretty dry information and not something any of us wants to think about. But please bear with me through this. This is an important topic.

Setting the Stage

The Government Accountability Office (GAO) is a federal office charged with keeping the government’s financial books and keeping government accountable to the people. David Walker is the Comptroller General of the United States–basically the head accountant for the federal government. This is a non-partisan, professional position. He was appointed by President Clinton and was unanimously confirmed by the Senate. I say all of this so that we can establish that this is not a politician and that he has nothing to personally gain or lose by the information he is sharing.

Mr. Walker has been on a Fiscal Wake-up Tour since 2005, and will continue through the elections. He is attempting to educate the public on the dire financial straits the US government is in. His hope is that if we are aware of the situation, that we’ll demand action from our elected officials. Let’s look at a some of the information he is sharing.

Cooking the Books

You probably heard that the federal deficit decreased from $412 billion in 2004 to $318 billion in 2005. That is technically true using the cash accounting method. However, using the accrual method (the method the federal government requires businesses to use), the actual 2004 deficit was $616 billion and it increased to $760 billion in 2005. You see, the federal government keeps two sets of books: one that the politicians share with us and another that they are required to use when accepted accounting methods are needed (dealing with bond markets, etc.)

Okay, how about the debt? You’ve probably heard that it’s just over $9 trillion dollars right? Again, that’s technically correct. That is our current outstanding debt. Once again, corporate America could not get away with this kind of accounting. What the politicians are not telling you as that we have about $46 trillion in unfunded commitments. That is, we have a $46 trillion shortfall in our upcoming commitments to Social Security, Medicare, and Medicaid (that is up from $20 trillion in 2000). Add our unfunded commitments and our debt, and our actual liability is about $53 trillion. That’s a big number. Let’s put it in perspective: If we divided it up, that would be $411,000 per US household.

The Grim Future

That’s all very alarming and disturbing, but it is an important setup for a look at the future. According to GAO projections, by 2015 federal spending on just Social Security, Medicare, Medicaid, and Interest will consume nearly all of the revenue coming in. And that’s assuming that no new programs are added in the interim.

We are on a path that is simply unsustainable. We have heard for many years that the entitlement programs are growing. Our politicians promise reform, but then fail to do so. We are at the end of our rope. Mr. Walker thinks we have 5 to 10 years at most before it all comes collapsing down.

The Solution

Well, it’s not going to be easy. It’s going to be painful for all of us. Those who think our economy will grow enough to solve the problem are kidding themselves; tax increases alone won’t solve it–this would require an immediate $11,000 per year increase per household; cutting programs alone won’t solve the problem, and the pain would be far too deep. In fact, it’s going to require a combination of all 3. The sooner we get started the better, because the price tag gets higher every day we wait.

So What Can You Do?

Mr. Walker has been a lone voice in the wilderness on this. He has been trying to get the word out, but the media has largely ignored it. Our politicians aren’t going to talk about it of their own accord, because bad news doesn’t get votes. We need to do everything in our power to get out the word and then force our elected officials to act quickly and decisively.

Here are some thoughts on what you can do:

Become Informed

  • Check out Mr. Walker’s 11-minute talk on this topic. I know it’s a lot of time to ask you to invest, but he lays it out very nicely and has graphics to help illustrate his points.
  • If you have the time and interest, his Fiscal Wake-up Tour page has some other presentations and information.

Tell Others

  • Make a similar post on your blog. If you don’t have the time to write new material, copy my post. This is too important for me to worry about plagiarism.
  • Talk to people
  • Write a letter to your newspaper

Take Action

  • Talk to every elected official you can and demand immediate action
  • Talk with those running for office to make sure they are on the correct side of this issue

Obama: Stop Escalating the Religious Rhetoric

According to an article at cnn.com, Democratic presidential candidate Barack Obama is aggressively battling an e-mail campaign falsely labeling him a Muslim. Unfortunately, I think his response to this “smear campaign” is a mistake. He is playing into the idea that there is a significant portion of the population that hates Muslims. He said:

“I think it ‘s very important for people not to buy into the kinds of dirty tricks that we’ve become so accustomed to in our politics, and people need to understand I’m not and never have been of the Muslim faith.”

“I think that those who are of the Muslim faith are deserving of respect and dignity, but to try and feed into this fear-mongering and try to question my faith commitments and my belief in Jesus Christ, I think is offensive.”

Calling someone a Muslim is not a “dirty trick” nor does it “feed fear-mongering”. In this case, it is simply a lie. His best course of action would have been to either ignore it or issue a simple denial. Unfortunately, his rhetoric here simply escalates this to no good end. He may very well end up offending the Muslim community with these remarks.

Here’s a bulletin to Obama: This is the 21st century. The overwhelming major of people are not so stupid as to discriminate against someone based on their religion. I don’t care what religion you practice. As long as you are a good, decent person and I agree with a good deal of your policies, I’m going to consider you. Religion will not, and should not, having any bearing.

Crazy Atkins Diet Experience

Thanks to John for his fad diet post to spark my memory of this experience. 

You probably remember that the Atkins Diet was all the rage a few years ago. You probably also remember that your local supermarket was suddenly filled with dozens of low-carb alternative foods to support the diet.

I was on the diet for probably about 6-9 months. It seemed like a dream come true: meat, cheese, eggs. What more could I want? And it did work for me? It did, at least initially. I was taking weight off at a good pace. However, in the end, I did end up missing those carbs and fell off the wagon.

However, the story I want to tell you about was my Atkins breakfast routine. I love having a sausage, egg, and English muffin sandwich for breakfast. However with Atkins, the English muffin is off limits. So I found some low-carb bread at the local store. It tasted roughly like cardboard–it was great. But I was committed to the diet, so I was going to use it. One morning, I microwaved the sausage and egg. Then I slapped it on my delicious low-carb bread. Finally, I wrapped my sandwich in a paper towel as I headed out for my commute to work.

I enjoyed my delicious sausage, egg, and cardboard sandwich while I was driving. (I know, I shouldn’t eat while driving–pipe down.) When I arrived at work, I grabbed the empty paper towel so I could drop it in the trash by the front door. It was then I noticed that I had eaten about 1/4 of the paper towel along with the sandwich. Yes, that amazing low-carb bread was so good that I couldn’t tell the difference between it and a paper towel.

Beer Night?

I was reminiscing with a friend about a bowling league we were on several years back. (Our team was called the Pin Doctors, and yes we wore scrubs). He started out a sentence with “And on beer night, we…” What a classic slip of the tongue. I promise, we did bowl a little bit on beer night. 😉

The Strange And Wonderful Land Of Search, 1st Edition

I have been keeping an eye on the search phrases that are bringing traffic to my blog. Some of them are hilarious others are a bit disturbing. Here’s the “best of” so far, categorized for your convenience.

Get A Life

funeral homes – who cleans them?

unexpected uses for green tea

non strenuous jobs for retirees

bathroom items beginning with m

Disturbing

hot dauter dance

“snap it off” toilet

daughter and dad in bath

trend bathroom 2008   (whatever it is, let’s hope it doesn’t involve Larry Craig)

WTF? 

is film on headlight illegal in Canada

anita renfro, william tell

guidance+winds+post+headlight

my dog ate garland

And this one sounds like a fun science experiment: comic strip film canister alka seltzer

Introducing A New Acronym: DITH

I’m getting tired of typing out Dad In The Headlights (I chose too long of a name I guess). So in posts, you’ll now see me refer to this blog as DITH for short. I expect that this will be added to the next edition of Webster’s dictionary.

Posted in Random. Tags: , . 1 Comment »

How Well-Rounded Are You?

Thanks to Matt for this one.

I’m quite round thank you very much. Oh…you mean culturally. Below are 40 question to see how well-rounded I am. I’d love to hear your answers. Feel free to post to your blog, give me a shout, and I’ll go take a look.

1. Been to a play: Yes, at pretty much all levels (elementary school through professional). I was even in a play: I played a very small part in a high school production of South Pacific when I was probably about 10 (I thought it was the coolest thing at the time).

2. Bungee jumped or something similar: No way. That kind of stuff scares the crap out of me.

3. Been a mentor/big brother/big sister: Nope.

4. Read at least one of the classics (War and Peace, The Great Gatsby, The Red Badge of Courage, Beowulf, Crime and Punishment, etc): Don’t think I have. How about I watch the movie instead?  J

5. Stood up for someone publicly: Trying to think…I guess not.

6. Been on a major roller coaster: The only one so far is the one at California Adventure. It’s the one that does a couple of upside-down loops on Mickey’s ears. Scared the crap out of me/loved every minute of it.

7. Been to a drive-in movie: Yes and I love it. A truly American experience that everyone needs to do.

8. Done something at a drive-in movie other than watch the movie: I wish.

9. Done volunteer work: Nope, not very much. Not proud of this fact either.

10. Given a toast at a wedding, a eulogy at a funeral, or some similar, meaningful speech: No, and am not interested in doing so. I’ve got big time stage fright.”

11. Been to a major sports playoff game: I’ve been to maybe a couple dozen Portland Trailblazer games.

12. Thrown a costume or theme party: We hosted a murder myster party several years back. It was a ton of fun. Gotta do it again sometime.

13. Been on or near the set of a major motion picture: Nope. Mostly lived in po-dunk towns very far away from movie filmings.

14. Taken a compliment well: Yes, I try to. I’m usually uncomfortable inside, but do the best I can.

15. Planted a tree: I planted a couple last summer, then accidentally murdered one with the lawn mower L.

16. Been stung by a jellyfish or something similar in/near the ocean: Thankfully, no.

17. Quit a crappy job:  Kind of. I quite a job at a gas station when I was in college when I didn’t get a promised raise. Then I went crawling back not too long after that.

18. Been on a blind date: No way!

19. Done something kind and unexpected for a stranger: Nothing of note.

20. Had a major surgery: Does an appendectomy count? I had this done when I was in college. My roommate was kind enough to bring me home from the hospital. Unfortunately, the electricity was out in the dorm and I had to climb 8 flights of stairs after a major surgery…ugh!.

21. Taken a car/truck road trip that covered at least 6 states: Not since I was a kid. We drove from Oregon to Arkansas for Christmas one year. It was not pretty.

22. Been in 4 or more countries: Just made the cut here. Of course, I live in the United States; I’ve been to Canada and Mexico for pleasure; and I’ve been to Japan for business.

23. Spent New Year’s Eve somewhere special: I’m always with special people, but never anywhere particularly special. I want to do Times Square just once.

24. Visited an ancient landmark: No.

25. Been face to face with a celebrity by chance: No.

26. Given to charity in the past two years: Yes.

27. Helped a stray animal: Yes, I’ve got a bunch of bleeding-heart animal lovers in the household, so it seems we are forever helping some hapless creature.

28. Dated someone you met online: When I was dating, there was no such thing as “meeting online”. Despite my pleas, my wife doesn’t really appreciate me looking for chicks online (or offline as far as that goes).

29. Won money on a long shot: Won $500 once in a state lottery game.

30. Won your office/family/friends NCAA tournament pool: Nope, I suck at those things.

31. Won an award/medal (even if something “small”): I was in the “Who’s Who Among American High School Students” in 1986. I’m not sure it’s a legitimate honor—I think it’s just a ploy to get proud parents to buy a book.32. Driven a foreign sports car: No.

33. Been in the front row for a concert: Nope.

34. Attended a symphony orchestra performance: Yes, I’ve seen Boston Pops a couple of times. Fabulous.

35. Caught a criminal in the act and did something about it (reported it, smacked them in the head, etc): Nada.

36. Sung solo on a stage: Never, and let’s not let that happen.

37. Witnessed something supernatural: No, and have no interest in doing so.

38. Covered for someone (who deserved it) at work: No.

39. Overcome a major fear: Yes, I had a fear of flying for many years. Overcame it about 4 years ago with the help of a friend and by just investigating the facts on how air travel works and how truley safe it is.

40. Mailed a surprise care package to a loved one: Sheesh, I suck. No

Wow, thanks for reading all the way through. Now go fill out yours!

Now THAT Was Awkward

CNN has a story on “Easy ways to exit awkward situations”. As usual, they have missed the mark. Thanks to the Dad In The Headlights Manners Department, we have some additional hints for you.

Here are some tips on how to gracefully and painlessly remove yourself from sticky social situations.

Escape a dull conversation at a party

“Politeness requires seven or eight minutes” of conversation, says Letitia Baldrige, a former social secretary to Jacqueline Kennedy and the author of “Taste: Acquiring What Money Can’t Buy.” After that, you can say good-bye to the bore.

You’ve got to be kidding me. 7 or 8 minutes? I’d be ready to commit murder or suicide by then. How about I give you 10 seconds to be interesting before I bolt?

At a cocktail party, it’s fine to excuse yourself to get a drink or food, help the hostess, or make a phone call.

Or my personal favorite: “Oh geez, I need to run and change my Depends.”

Another tried-and-true tactic? Introduce the bore to someone else, excuse yourself, and scram. This way, you avoid leaving the bore stranded, and he becomes someone else’s problem.

Well isn’t that sweet.

Escape a telemarketer

A polite “Thanks, I’m not interested” is your best response to unwanted calls.

This jerk interrupted my dinner and I’m supposed to be polite? I don’t think so. Below are some better ideas. Have some fun with it!

  • Ask them, “Why don’t you get a real job and stop annoying people?”
  • Put the phone on the table and walk away
  • Blow an air horn into the receiver
  • Talk with a think accent and pretend to have difficulty understanding

“The caller will probably come back with a benefit statement or a probing question” — such as Are you aware this will cut your insurance bill in half?

I like to respond to this with: “I have more money than I can ever hope to spend, so this would actually be harmful to me. I actually burn $100 bills in my fireplace.”

Escape a stumper

How do you say “I don’t know” without sounding, well, dumb? Especially in a nerve-racking setting, like a job interview? Be direct, says Sue Shellenbarger, a career-advice columnist at the Wall Street Journal: Just say, “That’s a great question. I’d like to think about it and get back to you.

“If putting off the question isn’t an option (you’re a keynote speaker at an event; you’re being interviewed on TV), employ the Ted Kennedy strategy, says Anne Fisher, who writes Ask Annie, a career-advice column for CNNMoney.com: “Say, ‘That’s a good question, but an even more interesting question is….'” Then talk about what you do know. “It’s worked for Kennedy,” says Fisher. “He’s been elected eight times.”

So now I’m supposed to take my cue on manners from a drunken, lifetime politician that was involved in the questionable death of a passenger in a car he was driving? I don’t think that’s very good advice.

How to escape a spat with your significant other

So now you’re advocating avoiding problems rather than working through them? I’m not so sure that’s good advice.

He started it. Well, maybe you did. Either way, you don’t want to talk about it anymore.

That’s correct. Pipe down, because I don’t want to talk about it.

“When we’re in a ‘flooded’ emotional state, access to the part of the brain where logical thinking resides is inhibited, and IQ drops noticeably — perhaps by as much as 15 points,” says Ransburg. “This is when we say things we wish we could take back.” So call a time-out. Typically, your logic will return in about 20 minutes, at which point you can resume the discussion in a productive way.

What kind of twisted mess is this? So I’m as dumb as a box of rocks when I argue, therefore I need to push the pause button on my argument and I will be smarter in 20 minutes? I think this writer is the one with IQ problems.

If you can’t call a time-out mid-spat, practice with tiny disagreements, suggests Ransburg, when you’re both less likely to take things personally.

So they want me to get in “tiny” disagreements with my wife so I can practice how to pause an argument? What variety of meth are you on?

How to escape a story repeater

Your father-in-law is telling you that story about foiling the pickpocket in Moscow — for the fifth time. Do you let him know you’ve heard it before and can tell it better than he does?

Absolutely not. I just let him rattle on. I nod and say “mmm–hhhhh” when appropriate and think about something else. And hope that he doesn’t ask a question.

“If the story is longer than a minute and the two of you are alone, do interrupt to tell him that you’ve heard — and enjoyed — that story once before,” says Margaret Shepherd, a coauthor of “The Art of Civilized Conversation.”

I really don’t think this is a good idea. It will only hurt his feelings.

Try: “You had everyone in stitches when you told that story last Christmas.” No need to add that you’ve heard the story for the last four Christmases. “Segue to a related topic,” suggests Shepherd, and if possible, draw in another person to freshen up the conversation.

So I can’t say what’s really on my mind? “Shut the pie-hole you senile freak!” Oh yeah, that would contradict my goal of not hurting feelings.

With older people whose memory may be slipping or when you’re in a group, though, it can be cruel to interrupt, says author Letitia Baldrige: “Patiently listen and wait for a chance to change the subject. If they’re thrilled to be telling the story, dismissing them too suddenly is like smooshing an ant.

“Like smooshing an ant? Ummm, that would kill the ant. I don’t think dismissing them will actually kill them.

The Grocery Shopper From Hell

I think I ran into a 60-year-old lady that was on her first-ever grocery shopping trip. She was in front of me at the checkout line. She had placed her items on the conveyor belt and was standing there clutching her purse. The clerk asked for her loyalty card (I hate those things, by the way). The lady stood there in silence for a moment and then said “Hmmm?”. The clerk asked again: “Do you have a loyalty club card?” Finally you could see the 20 watt bulb above her head flickering ever so faintly. She opened her purse and rooted around in there for approximately 3 days before she found it. The clerk took her card and the clerk scanned it. The lady then returned the card to her purse and closed it.

The clerk scanned her items and said “Your total comes to $26.37”. Oh no…I saw that the light had gone out again. The lady struggled for a few moments to understand. Then she finally jerked just a little as the light flickered back to life and she realized that she needed to pay. She opened the purse again and fumbled around trying to find her wallet. She found it, then painstakingly searched for the correct bills and change. I was dying as she counted out what felt like 2,637 individual pennies to pay for her items. Has she ever heard of a debit card? Has she ever heard of not taking 6 days to complete a simple grocery purchase? In general, I’m a pretty patient, easy-going guy. She really tried my patience. But I was nice. I didn’t say a word.

I’m A Slob

I have such a bad habit of just leaving items in random places rather than where they belong. As you can imagine, this can make it difficult to find things. However today, putting something where it belongs actually made it more difficult for me to find. You see, I’m so used to not hanging my jacket up, that it didn’t even occur to me to look where we are supposed to hang our jackets. I looked all over the house for it and kicked myself when I found it hanging neatly where it should be. I’m such a dork.

Posted in Random. Tags: , , . 1 Comment »

Let’s Dance

The Wife, the Younger Daughter, and I went to see Riverdance at the Morrison Center tonight. As a card-carrying member of the Man Club, I am legally restricted to very minimal interest in dance. This is a good thing. I don’t need, nor want, much dancing in my life. Riverdance is my guilty pleasure in the area of dance.

I freely admit that I do like Riverdance. They put on an amazing show. I think that each performer burns about 25,000 calories during the performance. Their feet are moving at an astonishing pace. I’m impressed with the near-athleticism of the performers and amazing choreography involved. That’s the part I enjoy and that’s where it begins and ends. I think there is some sort of story involved (yawn) and there are the occasional musical interludes between dances (extra sleep time for me). They also bowed like 27 times at the end. Give it up. Yes, we know you are awesome. Get off the stage so I can go home!

Don’t let my (occasionally negative?) comments stop you from seeing this show. It is very good.

Get Out of the Friggin Left Lane!

Ok, I ran into like 5 boneheads on the way home this evening that don’t know how to drive on the freeway. Here’s a clue: Use the left lane for passing, then move back to the right lane! I can’t believe how many people impede traffic by hanging out in the left lane for no particular reason. I have just submitted a project to the DITH R&D department. We are going to develop a tactical nuke small enough to take out just a single car. That way, when morons are clogging up the left lane, I can vaporize them!

Bekki, please take note of this. I don’t want to have to take you out.   🙂

The Dog Ate My Lift Pass

The Older Daughter has decided she wants to learn how to snowboard. Great. Let me just go ahead and drain out the remaining dollars I have in my bank account. Anyway, she wants to go this Saturday so we picked up some brochures on the lift ticket prices at Bogus Basin as well as a on renting snowboards. (We want her to rent to make sure she actually enjoys it before we invest in expensive gear.) The brochures were on the table next to the recliner. While we weren’t looking, her puppy jumped up on the recliner, grabbed the brochures, and shredded them. I don’t think her puppy is too keen on her being gone all day Saturday.