Men and Public Restrooms

Okay, now I realize this title could be a bit disturbing–particularly after the Larry Craig incident. However, I assure you this is not like that. This is merely a rant where I assert that 75% of men do not know how to properly use a public restroom.

Despite the high journalistic standards employed by Dad in the Headlights, this figure is not based on a scientific sampling of public restrooms. Rather, it’s a ballpark figure based on my experiences. Let’s set the stage. Imagine you are at a sports event and it’s halftime. You (a man) hit the restroom to pee because of the beers you’ve been enjoying. Everyone else also waited for halftime, so you are waiting in line.

Here’s where things start annoying me. 50% of men will not use a stall to pee when all the urinals are taken. Why is that? Do all these people have home urinals, so they aren’t used to using a toilet to pee? The other 50% (those that don’t have home urinals) will actually use a toilet. Great. They are helping use the restroom to its full capacity so that we can all get back to the game faster. Unfortunately, 50% of these folks still get it wrong.

Of those that use a stall to pee, 50% do not lock the door. What is wrong with you? While privacy may not be as much of an issue since your back is turned, do you really want someone bursting in and smacking you with the door? I really don’t want to peer through the door or under the stall to see if someone is in there (I’m not Larry Craig after all). The test of whether a stall is in use is whether it’s locked or not.

So there you have it, only 25% of men know how to use a public restroom. Happy peeing!


4 Responses to “Men and Public Restrooms”

  1. John Says:

    Then of course if you have a ‘wide stance’ or restless leg syndrome that causes your toes to inadvertently tap… the percentage drops considerably.

  2. John Says:

    I don’t mind using a stall and – crazily if I drip, I’ll take a little tp to mop up the rim. I use my foot under the seat to put it up then straddle and go. But, especially the split seats – I don’t want my schlong in someone else’s pee and don’t expect mine is blessed either – so I attempt to leave it clean for the next person. Used to have trough urinals campsites, tractor pulls, etc,… Solved all the problems guys seem to have these days with peeing in front of other guys. I do have a friend that is VERY piss shy. Just cannot go unless he’s sitting on a seat (he’s a clean guy and hates this also) with me standing up against the door while he locks it and gets the noise out of his head of other people. I don’t ask questions – just do my part. He can pee out in the woods fine – happens at stadiums and high traffic bathrooms. He’s gone in ladies rooms at mostly male events while I hope he goes in and out fast standing outside the door asking ladies to wait. He’ll run buck naked thru a campus quad – but couldn’t pee there. ???

  3. rolandapete Says:

    Why is it that men don’t want to use the stalls? Are they afraid that the men folk will think they are taking a crap, and is that just not cool at sporting events. Wait a minute, what am I saying? Taking a crap for a man is like a moment of clarity. Living with a man and observing his idiosyncrasies has led me to believe that “The art of the crap” is to a man what a pedicure is too a woman. How a man can enjoy his time with the toilet is beyond me, hey I might just have found something to blog about. But I digress…

  4. Weston Locher Says:

    I agree that men’s restroom etiquette is out of control. So much so that I recently had to create a poster at work informing my male employees of the “10 Rules of the Restroom.”

    All the best!

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