Reduced To A Taxi Driver And A Banker

A father can serve many roles with his children throughout the years:

  • Janitor when she makes a mess
  • Teacher when helping her with homework
  • Chef when preparing a lunch or dinner
  • Doctor/nurse when she is sick
  • Inventor when helping her dream up a play-time scenario
  • Architect/Builder to make that scenario happen
  • Mechanic when fixing that broken toy
  • Counselor when she needs guidance on a problem

    As the years wear on, she is often less and less interested in these roles. However, there are two roles that remain for me: Taxi Driver and Banker. Sometimes I feel like I spend my life in the car shuttling the kids all over creation. And of course, there’s nothing more expensive than raising kids. I will see the Taxi Driver role start to fade as the Older Daughter starts driving next year. It’s bittersweet. I want her to grow up and be independent, but dads like being useful.

    Why Do We Need A Border Fence?

    A previous post, Christmas Wish List For The United States, is starting to generate some discussion on my item about building the border fence. This is a good thing. Let’s talk these things through as a people and figure out the best approach. However, I need to take a step back and make the case on why we need the fence. So after the first of the year, look for a series of posts in which I will lay out what the root problem is, why it is a problem, and one of possibly several steps we need to take to solve it. So stay tuned and do some research on your own if you have time. Let’s have an honest, intelligent discussion based on facts.

    Because I Said So

    Thanks to Nectarfizz for sharing this clip. She’s got some funny stuff–check her out.

    Most of my posts are from a dad’s point of view. But let’s take a moment to honor moms. In my household (and many others), if it weren’t for The Wife, things just wouldn’t get done. Seriously, if I wasn’t married, I would probably sign up for a grocery delivery service, move the fridge to the living room, and have the couch surgically attached to my butt. That’s how lazy I would be.

    In this video clip (Mom’s Overture by Anita Renfro), she has taken all of the things a mom says to the kids in a day and condensed them down into just under 3 minutes. She sings them to the tune of the William Tell Overture. Enjoy…

    Dumbest Person, Part II

    You may recall from an earlier post (I’m The Dumbest Person On The Planet) that The Older Daughter apparently doesn’t think I have the brains to read a movie listing in the newspaper. And that because of this, I believe she now thinks that I have no more functioning brain cells.

    Well, it is with deepest regret that I announce the death of The Wife’s last brain cell today. Let me explain. The Daughters have been in soccer for many years now–I think we figured out 10 years to be exact. The Older Daughter quit playing a few years back, but now wants to get back into it. Well, of course, all the gear (shin guards, shoes, etc.) is now too small.

    So The Wife is talking with the Older Daughter and saying that they need to go gear shopping soon. You would have thought that The Wife had grown a third eye. The Older Daughter could not fathom that mom could know anything about what kind of items were needed to play soccer. Nope, The Wife has been doing this shopping for 10 years and even coached for a few years, but how could she possibly know what is needed? The Older Daughter thinks that a soccer-playing friend of hers is some sort of gear expert, so she wants to go with her. I get it, she’d rather go shopping with her friend than mom. Why not just say that rather than implying that mom could have no idea how to shop for these items? Oh well, such is parenting in the perilous teenage years.

    Anyway honey, sorry about the loss of that last brain cell. You’re in good company with me now.

    I’m The Dumbest Person On The Planet

    I think my last brain cell just died…at least in the eyes of the Older Daughter.

    A few weeks ago, The Older Daughter wanted to go to a movie with some friends on a Saturday night. They had some time constraints, so she needed to know the times the movie would be shown. I located the newspaper and found the movie listings. I showed her the listings and had this conversation:

    Me: “Hey, I found the show times for that movie. It looks like it’s not showing at the time you wanted to go.”

    Older Daughter: “Well those are not all the show times.”

    Me: “Yes these are all the times. The want to sell movie tickets, so they list all of the show times.”

    Older Daughter: “You don’t know that.”

    I’ve been around for 39 years and thought I knew how to navigate a movie listing in the newspaper, but I guess not. I’m the dumbest dummy around.

    Gotta Love Public Educashun

    Our family had dinner at Garbanzo’s (the best pizza in the Treasure Valley by the way) last week. While waiting for our pizza, we were going through one of those trivia question things that you often find on the tables in mom-and-pop restaurants. Things were going pretty well until we came to the question “What country is north of Idaho?” The Younger Daughter (4th grade) answered Alaska (hello, that’s a state, not a country); The Older Daughter (9th grade) had no clue. I was floored. I consider myself reasonably intelligent and thought that The Wife and I (and even the public schools) had done a good job of educating our kids. How could they not know that Canada is north of the United States?

    To give them a chance to redeem themselves, I asked a follow-up question: “What country is south of Texas?” Crickets could be heard as I waited for an answer. Once again, they had no clue. How is this? What geography are the public schools teaching our kids if not such basics as what countries border the United States? I am now convinced that our country is doomed.

    Follow-up To Bathroom Rules

    You may recall my previous post on Bathroom Rules for men. I ran into this YouTube video “Male Restroom Etiquette” today. It is absolutely hilarious. Check it out.