50 Random Things About Me

Thanks to John via Chris for this one.

Here’s a meme with 50 seemingly random questions that I will answer with my expert writing abilities.

1. What do you add to your coffee? I love the smell of coffee but generally need creamer to withstand the taste. Actually as I age and my taste buds die off, black coffee is starting to work for me.
2. What are you reading now? I have kids. When do I have time to read? During vacation next week, I plan on reading Who in Hell is Wanda Fuca? by G.M. Ford.
3. Do you own a gun?  No, two (evil laughter).
4. Are you registered to vote? Absolutely. If you don’t want to participate in our democracy, shut up if you don’t like what’s going on.
5. Do you get nervous before doctor appointments? Doctors freak me out. I have to lay down when they draw blood out of fear of passing out.
6. What do you think of hot dogs? I love them, but don’t ever tell me what’s in them or how they are made. 
7. Favorite Christmas Song? No contest. Bing Crosby’s White Christmas
8. What do you prefer to drink in the morning? Diet Mountain Dew
9. Can you do push ups? I don’t know. It’s better that I not try…I might be embarrased.
10. What was the name of your first boyfriend/girlfriend? I’m such a freak. My first girlfriend’s name was Lee. And this was in college (laugh amongst yourselves). The kicker is that I turned her into a lesbian. Yes, I was the last guy she dated before switching teams.
11. What’s your favorite piece of jewelry? My wedding ring is my favorite (and only) jewelry I wear.
12. Favorite hobby? I have kids. When do I have time for hobbies? I guess the closest thing I have to a hobby is blogging.
13. Do you work with people who idolize you? (Dies laughing and is unable to answer)
14. Do you have ADD? I do not believe so.
15. What’s one trait that you hate about yourself? I’ll answer tomorrow.
16. What’s your Middle name? Too paranoid to answer. You might track me down.
17. Name 3 thoughts at this exact moment. How can I find a way to be on vacation permanently? Pizza rules. Beer rules.
18. Name 3 things you bought yesterday. Gas, t-shirt, dinner at Subway.
19. Name 3 beverages you regularly drink. Diet Mountain Dew, water, beer.
20. Current worry right now?  Being successful in my new job.
21. What side do you dress to? I’m not really sure what this means. Left-right? Gay-straight? I don’t know how to answer.
22. Favorite place to be? The Oregon Coast
23. How did you bring in the New Year? I watched New Year’s Rockin’ Eve with the Younger Daughter.
24. Where would you like to go? Hawaii
25. Name three people who will complete this. No
26. Whose answers do you want to read the most? I want everyone to play along. Do it.
27. What color shirt are you wearing? Dark blue
28. Do you like sleeping on satin sheets?.  No, I’m not a chick.
29. Can you whistle?  Yes
30. Favorite color? Red
31. Could you be a pirate? Unlikely
32. What songs do you sing in the shower? Our of respect for my family members, I do not sing in the shower.
33. Favorite girls name?  Heather
34. Favorite boy’s name? Jeff
35. What’s in your pocket right now?  Cell phone, keys, and $0.50
36. Last thing that made you laugh? I looked in the mirror.
37. Best bed sheets as a child? Star Wars
38. Worst injury you’ve ever had? I sprained my ankle so badly when I was a junior in high school that I was on crutches for several day.
39. Do you love where you live? I like it, but don’t love it.
40. How many TVs do you have in your house?  5, but only 2 are used regularly.
41. Who is your loudest friend?  Probably John (sorry John)
42. How many dogs do you have? Two
43. Does anyone have a crush on you? Not that I’m aware of.
44. What are the most fun things you ever did? I don’t know.
45. What are your favorite books? Refer back to #2.
46. What is your favorite candy? M&Ms
47. Favorite Team? Portland Trailblazers
48. What songs do you want played at your funeral? I don’t want a funeral. Please have a party and laugh about the good times we had.
49. What were you doing at 12 AM? On the computer when I should have been sleeping.
50. What was the first thing you thought of when you woke up? Morning comes much to early in the day. Can we start it at about noon?

Live Or Die: Make Your Choice

Okay, this is not quite as serious as the choices in the Saw movies. However, I have come up with some questions. Yes, my very own shiny Meme. I’m sure someone has done something similar, but this particular one is mine all mine. Check out my answers. Then I tag Bekki and Jon to answer also. Everyone else is also welcome to join in the fun.

The rules:

• There are 2 choices for all questions. Some are mutual exclusive, some are not. Regardless, you can only pick one answer. Pretend I have a gun to your head–pick your favorite of the choices.
• If you come up with ideas for other questions, add them to you post and tag the originator to update their post with the new question(s).
• Tag some friends to join in the madness.

Paper or plastic? Plastic since it makes it easy to carry tons of groceries with 2 hands. Paper only when I need some paper bags.

Sock-sock shoe-shoe or sock-shoe sock-shoe? Sock-sock, shoe-shoe

Ginger or Mary Ann (guys), Professor or Gilligan (gals)? Definitely Mary Ann. I prefer the natural look to the 27 pounds of make-up look.

Chunky or smooth peanut butter? Chunky

Dogs or cats? It has been well documented that I have a nearly disturbing affinity for cats.

Leno or Letterman? I like Leno more in general. I liked Letterman when he was at NBC, but for some reason he doesn’t seem to be as funny after moving to CBS.

Car or truck? Car

PC or Mac? PC…I am a Microsoft/Intel drone.

Regular or diet pop? Diet. I order a diet Coke to offset the double cheeseburger and fries that I am ordering.

Left-handed or right? Right. Right is right, right?

Coke or Pepsi? Coke all the way.

My Soul Mate

Sorry honey, but according to this highly scientific quiz, my soul mate is Cameron Diaz. I made a “till death do us part” promise and I’ll keep it. But just thought you might like to know.

Who’s Your Celebrity Soul Mate?

My Result: Funny

There’s always funny stuff going on in the script when you’re on the set. Whether you’re pranking your crew, telling a funny joke, or injecting an element of the absurd into a situation, you’ve got a way with making people laugh. It’s only fitting that your celeb soul mate is someone who’s silly and quirky, too!

A celeb who’s good looking and good at enjoying life like Cameron Diaz is just right for the role. No matter if you’re playing mini golf or shopping at the mall, you’ve both got the comic talents to have loads of hilarious hijinks wherever you go. And if your celeb soul mate is on location in some foreign country, someone who’s funny and closer to home would be perfect for the job. And that’s no joke!

What are you?
http://web.tickle.com/jumpto?test=celebritysoulmateogt&c=50652

The Next Environmental Catastrophe

Everyone is all worried about global warming, pollution, and overflowing landfills. However, what we really need to worry about is the air trapped in plastic bottles. Yup, that’s right. After enjoying the contents of the bottle, most people seal the cap back on and with it a bottle full of air. Different sources indicate that it takes hundreds or even thousands of year for a plastic bottle. Eventually all the air in the world is going to be trapped in bottles in the landfill and we’re all going to suffocate. So please save the planet…don’t put that lid back on the bottle before disposing of it.

These are the types of strange things that occupy my mind.

Get to Know Me Better

Rick tagged me on this meme. Thanks man. Let’s get ‘er done.

The rules are:

1. The rules of the game get posted at the beginning.
2. Each player answers the questions about themselves.
3. At the end of the post, the player then tags 5-6 people and posts their names, then goes to their blogs and leaves them a comment, letting them know they’ve been tagged and asking them to read your blog.
4. Let the person who tagged you know when you’ve posted your answer.

1) What was I doing 10 yrs ago?

10 years ago the Older Daughter was 5 and the Younger Daughter was just 5 months old. I remember attending the Older Daughter’s dance recital that year–very cute. We were just settling into our previous house. I also started a custom software development business with a buddy–it didn’t work out.

2) What are 5 things on my to-do list for today (not in any particular order):

1. Post to my blog (check)
2. Get some laundry done (in progress)
3. Check on the status of a job application (check–no answer yet…grrr)
4. Do some more work on our business website (probably not going to happen)
5. Blog surfing (check)

3) Snacks I enjoy:

• Cheez-Its
• soybeans
• beef jerkey
• popcorn

4) Things I would do if I were a billionaire:

• Build a nice new house on our ranch
• Buy a monster motor home and travel
• Do charity work

5) Three of my bad habits:

1. Staying up too late
2. Procrastinating
3. Not eating right

6) 5 places I have lived:

1. Lebanon, Oregon
2. Ontario, Oregon
3. Cheney, Washington
4. Boise, Idaho
5. Caldwell, Idaho

7) 5 jobs I have had:

1. Petroleum Transfer Technician (some people call it a Service Station Attendant)
2. Clerk-Typist
3. Computer Lab Consultant
4. Software Engineer
5. Database Administrator

8 ) 5 peeps I wanna know more about:

1. Bekki
2. Jon
3. Bonnie
4. Allison
5. smysore

8 Things About Me I’m Pretty Sure You Don’t Care About

Okay, my posting rate has been a little slow over the last few days. So I’m lifting a meme from John to get things moving along again. With this meme, you basically tell 8 facts about yourself and then tag someone else. I’m not going to officially tag anyone, but be a good sport and play along okay?

1. Both of my grandpas were named after famous people: Jesse James and Benjamin Franklin. Unfortunately, I never had the pleasure meeting either one (neither the grandpas nor the actual famous people).

2. I have ridden in the back of a police car and briefly checked out the county jail. You see, back in junior high, we had a zero-tolerance policy for fighting. If you were caught, you automatically got to ride to the county jail–about 13 miles away. They scared the hell out of you by showing you some cells, then your parents got to come pick you up. The fight was so minor that it was not worth it. No charges were filed. In retrospect, I should have drawn some blood or something for all the trouble of having my parents pick me up from jail.

3. Several years back, I was a good sport and took Irish dance lessons with the Younger Daughter. For the record, she grew bored of it and decided to quit–not me.

4. My biggest traffic pet peeve: Not using your turn signal. In an earlier post, I threatened to develop a tactical nuke capable of taking out a car. I would definitely use this on those who can’t be bothered with such formalities as signalling turns.

5. I am a sucker for cats. I could easily be one of those freaks that has like 47 cats. I hope this doesn’t threaten my Man Club membership.

6. In junior high, I once told a counselor that my goal was to be an NBA basketball player. For some weird reason, he thought I should have a backup plan, but I didn’t think so. For the record, I never even tried out for basketball. Oh yeah, and I’m 5′9″. Thankfully, I did come up with a backup plan.

7. I was so painfully shy in my younger years, that I never attended a single dance–not even the big ones: homecoming, prom, etc. That’s probably my single biggest regret from my youth.

8. Many years ago now, John and I decided at around 3pm to drive from Portland, Oregon, to Vancouver, B.C…for no particular reason. And we just turned around and drove right back after grabbing some fuel and snacks in Vancouver. A 12-hour round-trip if I remember correctly. Crazy. And one of my fondest memories.

Which Celebrities Do I Look Like?

I recently ran across a website called MyHeritage. They allow you to create a family tree with photos. They also have facial recognition software. This can help you find lost relatives (by comparing your pictures with those uploaded by others), find out which relative you child looks most like, etc.

They also have some fun, free services. One of these allows you to upload your photo and it will generate the 8 celebrities you look the most like. You can see my result below.

Yes guys, it’s a cross I bear. I know that I look just like George Clooney. Hardly a day goes by that people don’t mistake me for him.

Okay, homework time. John and Bekki, which celebrities do you look most like?

Friday, February 22, 2008: The End of the World?

This has been a really freaky week with “natural” events in the west. Let’s take a look at what has happened so far:

• On Tuesday, a meteor was seen streaking through the sky in the northwest
• Wednesday brought us a total lunar eclipse
• And today, an earthquake hit Wells, Nevada

At this rate, I fully expect tomorrow to be the end of the world.

Foot in Mouth Disease

I have definitely said a few things that I regretted almost immediately–foot in the mouth moments I guess. Thankfully, I believe the number and severity of such incidents has declined exponentially over the years. This is borne out by the fact that the two worst ones (and they are really bad) occurred over 20 years ago when I was a senior in high school.

This guy sitting behind my in health class was a complete jerk. Constant rude, obnoxious comments–just wouldn’t shut up. Very annoying. One day, I turned around and said to him: “You are the most annoying person I know. I bet your family wants to kill themselves.” Yeah…turns out his brother had committed suicide the previous year. I just didn’t know him that well and didn’t make the connection with the last name.

Our band took a fleet of school buses down to Disneyland during my senior year (I guess airplanes had not been invented yet). Somehow I ended up on the wrong bus. I was stuck for 24 hours on a yellow school bus with the bus driver from the very bowels of hell. If you look up grouchy in the dictionary, you’ll see her picture. Go ahead and check…I’ll wait. Finally, I couldn’t keep it inside anymore. I looked over to the girl in the next seat and said: “Oh, I hate our bus driver. She is so rude.” Yeah…as luck would have it, I was talking to the bus driver’s daughter.

Uplifting Thought for the Day

Always keep this in mind: every day is better than the next. 

Dad in the Headlights: Now a Domain

I decided to purchase the domain www.dadintheheadlights.com just in case I ever want to host the blog myself or do something else with it. Right now it will just redirect you to my blog hosted here at WordPress. I know: la de freakin da.

Jeffrey Dahmer in Training?

I was talking with someone with whom I’m just barely acquainted a few days ago. Somehow, we ended up on the topic of a pet dying. He mentioned that his poodle died several years back and that he didn’t want to bury it where he was living at the time. So he put the poodle in the freezer to preserve it until he moved! I was deeply disturbed and felt like I should take a shower after our conversation. What is he, a Jeffrey Dahmer in training?

First off freak-boy, don’t put your dog in the freezer.  Second, if you’re not going to abide by my first request, please don’t tell me about it!

Hangin’ Tough?

Thanks to John for this one.

I had to check the calendar on this story. I was sure it had to be April 1st and someone was pulling my leg. Unfortunately, it’s not April Fool’s Day. So now, reason #159 that this country is doomed: The New Kids on the Block are reuniting. According to the People article:

“Eighteen years later, they’re still “Hangin’ Tough.” The oldest “Kid,” Jonathan Knight, now a real estate developer, will turn 40 later this year. Since the band’s demise, former members Donnie Wahlberg, 38, and Joey McIntyre, 35, have seen acting success, while Danny Wood, 38, has worked as a music producer and Knight’s brother, Jordan, 37, has continued to record.”

A side note: For truth in advertising, shouldn’t they change their name to “Middle Age Guys in the Suburbs”? 

My best friend’s sister was a complete NKOTB freak. Her room was a shrine to the band. I think that she had every single promotional item available. I never got it…probably because I’m a guy.

Ok, so my guilty pleasure during my high school/early college years was Debbie Gibson. Yes, that’s right. Go ahead and laugh for awhile. Then resume reading…I’ll wait. I had all of her tapes (I can hear my kids asking: Dad, what are cassette tapes?), a VHS tape of a concert, and I even attended a concert in Tri-Cities, Washington. But that was it…I didn’t do the shrine thing…no posters or any of that stuff.

Anyway, I need to run. I need to see if Debbie Gibson is planning a comeback.

So tell me, what is your most embarrassing favorite singer/group from your younger days?

Hot Dogs: Truth In Advertising?

We recently attended an event that had various vendors with food and other things to buy. One of the booths was sponsored by the local animal shelter. It happened to be a food booth. This food booth happened to have a barbecue. And what were they cooking? You’ve got it: hot dogs. Something just doesn’t seem right about an animal shelter selling hot dogs. You start to wonder where they came from.

Am I Evil?

John wanted to know how evil I am compared to him. So here you have it. I’m 35% evil, while John is only 34% evil. Sorry John, I’m more evil than you, despite the fact that you think I’m a “good” boy. I think I’ve probably become more evil as the years goes by. 

And this cannot be disputed, because The Gematriculator says that its methods are infallible, so…

The Strange And Wonderful Land Of Search, 1st Edition

I have been keeping an eye on the search phrases that are bringing traffic to my blog. Some of them are hilarious others are a bit disturbing. Here’s the “best of” so far, categorized for your convenience.

Get A Life

funeral homes - who cleans them?

unexpected uses for green tea

non strenuous jobs for retirees

bathroom items beginning with m

Disturbing

hot dauter dance

“snap it off” toilet

daughter and dad in bath

trend bathroom 2008   (whatever it is, let’s hope it doesn’t involve Larry Craig)

WTF? 

is film on headlight illegal in Canada

anita renfro, william tell

guidance+winds+post+headlight

my dog ate garland

And this one sounds like a fun science experiment: comic strip film canister alka seltzer

Introducing A New Acronym: DITH

I’m getting tired of typing out Dad In The Headlights (I chose too long of a name I guess). So in posts, you’ll now see me refer to this blog as DITH for short. I expect that this will be added to the next edition of Webster’s dictionary.

How Well-Rounded Are You?

Thanks to Matt for this one.

I’m quite round thank you very much. Oh…you mean culturally. Below are 40 question to see how well-rounded I am. I’d love to hear your answers. Feel free to post to your blog, give me a shout, and I’ll go take a look.

1. Been to a play: Yes, at pretty much all levels (elementary school through professional). I was even in a play: I played a very small part in a high school production of South Pacific when I was probably about 10 (I thought it was the coolest thing at the time).

2. Bungee jumped or something similar: No way. That kind of stuff scares the crap out of me.

3. Been a mentor/big brother/big sister: Nope.

4. Read at least one of the classics (War and Peace, The Great Gatsby, The Red Badge of Courage, Beowulf, Crime and Punishment, etc): Don’t think I have. How about I watch the movie instead?  J

5. Stood up for someone publicly: Trying to think…I guess not.

6. Been on a major roller coaster: The only one so far is the one at California Adventure. It’s the one that does a couple of upside-down loops on Mickey’s ears. Scared the crap out of me/loved every minute of it.

7. Been to a drive-in movie: Yes and I love it. A truly American experience that everyone needs to do.

8. Done something at a drive-in movie other than watch the movie: I wish.

9. Done volunteer work: Nope, not very much. Not proud of this fact either.

10. Given a toast at a wedding, a eulogy at a funeral, or some similar, meaningful speech: No, and am not interested in doing so. I’ve got big time stage fright.”

11. Been to a major sports playoff game: I’ve been to maybe a couple dozen Portland Trailblazer games.

12. Thrown a costume or theme party: We hosted a murder myster party several years back. It was a ton of fun. Gotta do it again sometime.

13. Been on or near the set of a major motion picture: Nope. Mostly lived in po-dunk towns very far away from movie filmings.

14. Taken a compliment well: Yes, I try to. I’m usually uncomfortable inside, but do the best I can.

15. Planted a tree: I planted a couple last summer, then accidentally murdered one with the lawn mower L.

16. Been stung by a jellyfish or something similar in/near the ocean: Thankfully, no.

17. Quit a crappy job:  Kind of. I quite a job at a gas station when I was in college when I didn’t get a promised raise. Then I went crawling back not too long after that.

18. Been on a blind date: No way!

19. Done something kind and unexpected for a stranger: Nothing of note.

20. Had a major surgery: Does an appendectomy count? I had this done when I was in college. My roommate was kind enough to bring me home from the hospital. Unfortunately, the electricity was out in the dorm and I had to climb 8 flights of stairs after a major surgery…ugh!.

21. Taken a car/truck road trip that covered at least 6 states: Not since I was a kid. We drove from Oregon to Arkansas for Christmas one year. It was not pretty.

22. Been in 4 or more countries: Just made the cut here. Of course, I live in the United States; I’ve been to Canada and Mexico for pleasure; and I’ve been to Japan for business.

23. Spent New Year’s Eve somewhere special: I’m always with special people, but never anywhere particularly special. I want to do Times Square just once.

24. Visited an ancient landmark: No.

25. Been face to face with a celebrity by chance: No.

26. Given to charity in the past two years: Yes.

27. Helped a stray animal: Yes, I’ve got a bunch of bleeding-heart animal lovers in the household, so it seems we are forever helping some hapless creature.

28. Dated someone you met online: When I was dating, there was no such thing as “meeting online”. Despite my pleas, my wife doesn’t really appreciate me looking for chicks online (or offline as far as that goes).

29. Won money on a long shot: Won $500 once in a state lottery game.

30. Won your office/family/friends NCAA tournament pool: Nope, I suck at those things.

31. Won an award/medal (even if something “small”): I was in the “Who’s Who Among American High School Students” in 1986. I’m not sure it’s a legitimate honor—I think it’s just a ploy to get proud parents to buy a book.32. Driven a foreign sports car: No.

33. Been in the front row for a concert: Nope.

34. Attended a symphony orchestra performance: Yes, I’ve seen Boston Pops a couple of times. Fabulous.

35. Caught a criminal in the act and did something about it (reported it, smacked them in the head, etc): Nada.

36. Sung solo on a stage: Never, and let’s not let that happen.

37. Witnessed something supernatural: No, and have no interest in doing so.

38. Covered for someone (who deserved it) at work: No.

39. Overcome a major fear: Yes, I had a fear of flying for many years. Overcame it about 4 years ago with the help of a friend and by just investigating the facts on how air travel works and how truley safe it is.

40. Mailed a surprise care package to a loved one: Sheesh, I suck. No

Wow, thanks for reading all the way through. Now go fill out yours!

I’m A Slob

I have such a bad habit of just leaving items in random places rather than where they belong. As you can imagine, this can make it difficult to find things. However today, putting something where it belongs actually made it more difficult for me to find. You see, I’m so used to not hanging my jacket up, that it didn’t even occur to me to look where we are supposed to hang our jackets. I looked all over the house for it and kicked myself when I found it hanging neatly where it should be. I’m such a dork.

I Speak English Goodly

Thanks to John for this one.

I’ve always thought it was weird that those of us in the western United States have absolutely no accent. Everyone else in the world has some sort of accent, but not us. Strange. 

Your Linguistic Profile:

75% General American English 15% Upper Midwestern 5% Midwestern 0% Dixie 0% Yankee

What Kind of American English Do You Speak?