A New DITH Venture: Carbon Glutton

DITH is now ready to introduce it’s latest venture: Carbon Glutton. This new effort is dedicated to cancelling out efforts to reduce carbon emissions. CO2 is a naturally occurring, colorless, odorless gas that apparently is going to kill us all in a fiery flood. Check in there often for tips on how to emit even more CO2 so that we can bring on the demise of humanity even faster. Enjoy!

Drill Here. Drill Now. Pay Less.

I don’t think that anyone can dispute that we are in a full-fledged energy crisis. Skyrocketing oil prices are endangering our economic security and standard of living. We have seen the immediate impact at the pump, but sharply higher prices on the way with every good and service in our economy since everything is dependant upon oil in some way.

Do we need to conserve? Yes. Do we need more wind solutions? Absolutely. Do we need to look at solar energy? Of course. How about hybrid, electric, and hydrogen fuel cell cars? Duh.

We must do everything in our power to attack this energy crisis. That includes drilling for the oil we are currently sitting on in this country. We are the only country in the world prohibiting itself from further development of its own natural resources. Drilling can be done without major environmental impacts and must be done to protect our national security.

American Solutions is a non-partisan organization trying to rise above partisan politics to provide real solutions to our most significant problems. They are currently runing a petition drive demanding that our politicians remove the restrictions on domestic oil production for the sake of our economy and national security. I urge you to check them out and sign the petition if you are so inclined.

The Real Story Behind High Oil Prices

I’m getting tired of the knuckleheads on Capitol Hill wasting time parading oil executives into hearing rooms to pummel them over profits every week rather than actually solving the problem. Isn’t this still America? Aren’t we still a capitalist nation? A quick lesson on the purpose of a business: to make money. Yes, it’s that simple. The purpose is no greater or less than that. We should be cheering their profits.

Let’s say I were to grant you that a corporation could make “too much” money (I won’t, but let’s say I did). The oil industry has a profit margin well below the average of all industries. The reason for the huge profits in absolute numbers is simply the fact that it is the largest industry in the world. It would be like Joe’s Bar & Grill complaining that Applebee’s makes too much in comparison.

Anyway, let’s move on. Let’s take a look at what the mental midgets in Washington have done to address the issue of high oil prices:

• They have made ANWR off limits to drilling
• They forbid drilling off of the Florida and California coasts
• They will not allow leases for drilling in the Gulf while China and Venezuela have signed leases
• They are shutting down oil fields in Colorado
• They won’t allow shale oil field development in some Western states
• The EPA just added polar bear to the protected list even though their numbers have increased substantially. Oh yeah, and the polar bears are in the same area where we need to drill for oil.
• They passed legislation allowing us to sue OPEC–I’m sure that won’t piss them off and cause them to cut off our oil.
• There have been rumblings of a windfall profits tax (even though I pointed out earlier that they are below average in their profit margins). Trust me, increasing a company’s expenses, will not lead to lower prices.
• All 3 presidential candidates have promised to pass cap and trade legislation (to fight the phantom global warming problem). The EPA estimates that this will increase the price of gasoline by $1.50 per gallon–other say it could be more like $5.00 per gallon.
• They have not allowed the construction of a new refinery in over 30 years.
• They will not allow the deployment of coal-to-oil technology. We are the Saudi Arabia of coal and could be energy independent with this technology.
• They won’t reduce the federal gas tax–not even for the summer.

And they’re asking the oil executives why prices are so high? Stop the political grandstanding and provide real solutions folks.

The Next Environmental Catastrophe

Everyone is all worried about global warming, pollution, and overflowing landfills. However, what we really need to worry about is the air trapped in plastic bottles. Yup, that’s right. After enjoying the contents of the bottle, most people seal the cap back on and with it a bottle full of air. Different sources indicate that it takes hundreds or even thousands of year for a plastic bottle. Eventually all the air in the world is going to be trapped in bottles in the landfill and we’re all going to suffocate. So please save the planet…don’t put that lid back on the bottle before disposing of it.

These are the types of strange things that occupy my mind.

More Global Warming Please

We went to McCall, Idaho this weekend for the McCall Winter Carnival. This is a unique winter festival with lots of activities. The centerpiece of this event is ice sculptures all around the city. Check out this link for some of the amazing work from last year’s event.

Probably the second biggest event at the festival is the Mardi Gras parade. This is not your typical parade. I haven’t been to New Orleans, but I would imagine that this parade is much more like the New Orleans version than your typical hometown parade. Many in the parade are dressed up like the folks at Mardi Gras. They throw out tons of candy for the kids and tons of the bead necklaces (at last count, we picked up 40 of them).

About mid-way through the parade, there was this big group of high school kids carrying some sort of banner encouraging people to attend a global warming awareness rally later this month. The irony of this was not lost on me. This is the winter carnival. This has been the coldest winter in several years around here. We are standing out in the frigid weather with snow coming down on us like crazy. And they are talking to us about global warming? At that point, I was hoping for some global warming. My toes were so cold they were numb. Bring on the global warming.

(Yes I know it was one particular day in one particular isolated area. Pipe down environmental freaks. It’s funnier the way I tell it.)

What If We Don’t Want To Be Warm?

A teen band called Blübird has written a song called “What If We Don’t Want To Be Warm” to call us to action on global warming. I don’t care what side of the issue you are on, this song is horrible. The lyrics are atrocious and the melody really grates on your nerves. If you dare to listen, you’ll be able to thank me for the fact that you’ll lay awake tonight with the chorus going through your head.

The Green Movement Hits The Funeral Industry

You probably thought that the yappy, ankle-biting poodle that is the green movement was only going to harass you until you die right? Think again. The green movement is now targeting the $11 billion funeral industry according to an article on cnn.com. “Green” cemeteries featuring “natural” burials are starting to pop-up around the nation. It’s gotten big enough that there is now an industry group called the Green Burial Council that offers certifications to funeral homes. That way, you can make sure they are really as green as they say.

This evil conservative is not convinced, for the most part, that the green movement is having any real impact on environmental problems (some real, most imaginary). And even if I grant you that we have serious problems and need to take drastic steps, we wouldn’t see the slightest blip on the radar if we mandated that all burials are natural.

No, this is really more about greenbacks than going green. I’m sure there are some die-hard environmentalists running some of these green funeral homes, but there is definitely an element here taking advantage of increased “environmental awareness” to make a buck. And God bless them. That’s great and it is wat capitalism is all about. I just think it’s important to understand the real motivation.

In early November, NBC had a Green is Universal week in which they embedded going green propaganda into all their programs. These messages told you about steps you could take and products you could buy to help the environment. Well guess what? NBC’s parent company is General Electric; a company that produces many products being pushed by the shows: compact fluorescent bulbs, LED lighting, energy efficient appliances, wind turbines, and solar power. Again, making money on a fad is great. I just think it’s important to follow the money to understand the true motivation.

Now if you’ll excuse me, I need to pick up my Styrofoam-powered car that I just ordered.